Reasons I might be retarded (restaurant edition)

Incident 1:

I had Tommy's pizza with Matt and Erin last weekend. We all just got water to drink. This is important. THey have a self-serve coke machine. Water is usually a little sub-button under one of the coke products on these machines. And this one had that little sub button but there was a big "X" on it. There was also a sticker proclaiming that this was NOT water.

Well of course it's water. Where else would you get the water? And they obviously have water or they wouldn't have given us cups. Maybe it was just a joke -- some modern art installation commenting on the impurities of city water...

Now raise your hand if that would have occurred to you. Is anyone raising their hands? No, because Karen is stupid sometimes.

So we're literally standing there in public debating on if the sticker is a lie. It has to be a lie. So I pour myself a cup -- looks like water to me! Itake a giant swig -- soda water. Blech. Then Matt points out the water pitcher on the shelf. THANKS MATT.

Incident 2:

Sunday I had Casa Blanca with Anthony and Beth and John. We were sat at one of those super long booths that could jam 8 people easy. Well I wasn't going to scoot that far on my butt so I walked across the bench on my knees. ...And smacked my head on the hanging glass lamp. Hard. In fact, it still hurts.