My visit with the feds.

So if I don't post about this, I'll end up thinking it was just a weird dream or something I made up. Of course I recognize it's most likely going to be read by my new friends who visited me today - in which case I would like to say, Mr Note-taker, you are hot but just a tad rude -- Mr Montgomery is way nicer. So here we go, with the truth that you just can't make up:

Today at work was boring. I was working on horribly boring work but my fancy new umbrella got delivered so I knew I'd have to leave work early enough to make it home before the office closed at 5. Nice. And I don't work tomorrow -- so weekend! Woot! So comes 4:00 when my day took a very weird turn.

I had called my landlord about half an hour before to ask if my package (the snazzy umbrella) had been delivered. So I didn't find it too odd that she was calling me back. I guess I should have.

She said there were some men there that needed to speak to me and if I could now. Ok. Well, turns out some guys from the federal government needed to see me -- today. And they couldn't tell me what it was about. And they were at my apartment waiting on me. Oh fuck me.

So I course I leave work immediately -- must know whats going on. And I can't for the life of me figure out what the fuck is up. Am I abut to be arrested? He said he drove up from Montgomery to see me -- thats like 4 hours. Am I going back to Montgomery with him? What the fuck does the government want with my ass? I mean I don't make much money and I only took the standard deductions on my taxes... And is this really happening? I was totally terrified and excited at the same time. It was weird. I couldn't get home fast enough.

I stopped at the front office to get my umbrella and ask my landlady about the guy. She said there were two guys and she looked at their badges and that they were darn cute. Well damn if I didn't look like shit and have a messy house.

So I pull up to my apartment and 2 guys in suits are waiting in a car just like he told me they'd be. Here we go... They're nice and yes, cute. They ask to come inside to discuss some things. And they show me their IDs -- which was kinda cool -- they had badges. I'm easily impressed.

So what the fuck could this possibly have to do with me? Well, it was about something I posted online 2 years ago. Which is now part of a federal investigation. Which I probably shouldn't say anything specific about cause i already got in trouble for posting shit on the internet, right? They asked me a lot of questions about a lot of stuff. It was kinda freaky and I was super nervous.

Turns out you're not allowed to post pictures of your drivers license online. It's a no-no which Mr Note-taker informs me could bring charges from the state government later. But I don't see how that can be as lots of people have posted pics of their licenses -- and it's not like I've ever seen a rule that you can't post pictures of them. I mean it just doesn't make sense -- but anyway, losing my point.

I posted pictures of my current license and my old one about 2 years ago to show how much weight I've lost and make a point about my hotness. I blurred out my info and the numbers and all that, but apparently that wasn't good enough. Someone used my license pic to make a fake one of their own -- and do bad things. And Mr Montgomery's investigation led him to the original license: on my flickr account. I'm guessing flickr sold me out on where I lived and who I was. THANKS FLICKR (You're not ever getting me to sign up for a pro account now). Not that I care too much, it's just flickr.

Anyway, I explain about why I posted it and how I had no idea I was in the wrong -- and Mr Mongomery says he knows - hes seen my entire Flickr. Oh thats nice. Now I feel oddly creeped out.

So Mr Montgomery will be in touch. And I might have to testify in court. And Mr Note-taker informs me that the state can pursue criminal charges against me if they choose. Oh this is so something that would happen to me.

I don't get why Mr Montgomery didn't just email me through my flickr account. I mean he didn't have to go through all that trouble to find out who I was and then drive all the way up here to see me.


Blogger penn said...

crazy. you really can't make that up.
at least this is good to know? I promise I will never ever post a picture of my license.

I bet you'll be fine -- you did this for completely innocent reasons, and anyone would understand that.

7:28 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Powered by Blogger

eXTReMe Tracker