Isolation: Day 1

Ah, everyone wants to know how it went -- and as I said in a texted picture post from the hospital, it was a CLUSTERFUCK. Lets start at the beginning:

I woke up early so I could be at Huntsville Hospital at 9:00. I usually avoid HH at all costs as I GREATLY prefer Crestwwood Hospital -- and if I'm ever dying in an ambulance, if I can talk, I'm fucking going to Crestwood and not HH -- no arguing. But thats not my point. New paragraph, back on point:

So I go to HH and can't find anywhere to park, so I have to park in the visitors parking which will cost me 2 bucks which is stupid, but hey, gotta park. I go to admissions as I was directed and wait a while to be called. I immediately disliked the woman who was to check me in. She was a bitch and a half and you could see it coming by her attitude and distain for her job (which was obvious). First thing she says (no "hi"), "You'll have a copay of $200 dollars, how will you be paying?"

What? No I don't. She says I was preregistered and my copay would be $200 (she repeated this many times). I told her that I've had the same insurance policy for damn near three years and never had such a high copay -- I've had emergency surgeries on this insurance that didn't cost me two hundred fucking dollars. I asked her to double check my insurance information to appease me (I pointed out politly that I acknowledged that I was probably ( insert NOT here) wrong, I just wanted to be sure). She informs me that if its in the computer, its been checked and is correct, that'll be $200 (back to the repeating).

UGH. I finally get her to pull it up in the computer, yes thats the correct policy number. I ask her to bill me so that i could argue about it with the insurance company as I did not have $200 to give at the moment. She said they couldn't bill me for it, I had to pay first. I explained that they've billed me before and received their payments promptly on time and that I simply did not have this money. She askes me when I'll have it.

And now we're starting to butt heads as I have been awoken early and do not have the patience for this bitches attitude.

I tell her that I have a great job who provides the great insurances and will be paid Friday and can mail them a check, I repeat my request that a bill me mailed. She informs me that I can date the check for Friday and they won't cash it before then. I tell her I'm uncomfortable doing that.

We then argue back and forth and I give in and write her a check for $200 and date it for after payday. This eats at me. I'm told to go through those doors way over there and follow the signs to radiology.

(Did I mention I like Crestwood so much better? Crestwood hospital is always polite and helpful, and they escort you everywhere. I've been to their ER a few times, had two surgeries there -- great hospital. They're good people. And parking is free. And the hospital is simply gorgeous and clean. All things Huntsville Hospital is not.)

Anyway, I find radiology and the receptionist reads off that I'm there for an oblation (I think thats the right word, its the medical term for having your thyroid radiated out -- whatever that is) and stay. Wait wait wait. I'm not staying -- I'm here for the treatment and then being sent home. She has me down for a stay. I'M NOT STAYING HERE.

Worry not, I havn't lost my cool with this lady, I just say these things in my head.

She tells me that I can discuss it with the nurse. We'll get to that in a minute.

I wait around a little while and that check I wrote just keeps eating at me. So I go ask the receptionist how long it will be and if I have time to go back to admissions. Apparently, they have to order the pills be sent up. And they haven't done that yet. So yeah, I have time.

I went to admissions and got my check back. It was heated, but I got my check -- HA. I win. I'll argue this out with the insurance company when the bill comes. Back to the nurse I had to talk to about having to stay in that god forsaken place.

The nurse has had a stroke and can barely speak. And nothing against her, she was very nice and helpful and sweet and I just found it very hard to understand ANYTHING she said. I did understand when she asked me for my radiation scan results. I told her i didn't have them, no one told me I needed them -- i had even tried to get the pictures they took just for shits and I couldn't. So no I didn't have them. Ok, they'll get them faxed.

Then I get stuck in a very tiny room with about as much clearance as a movie theater seating aisle. And this is where the nurses have to keep coming in and out of -- so every time they had to walk by me I had to stand. I was in this room for an hour. I sent the text pictures from there. I filled out more paper work. I waited on the doctor.

After I've now been at the hospital for 2 hours, the doctors comes to join us all in the tiny tiny room. He tells me they can't give me the pill without me having had a pregnancy test. I HAD A PREGNANCY TEST! I presented my ugly burst vein as evidence of this. Ok, they can get those faxed too. But wait, this was Wednesday? Yes, not 40 hours ago.

He asks if I might have gotten pregnant since then. I tell him no. "Are you sure you havent..." And he pauses -- a doctor thats afraid to ask about sex -- WTF

"Had SEX? No I haven't -- I'm not pregnant"

Ok so I sign paperwork agreeing that I am not pregnant. This is the only thing that will appease them even though they already have the fucking test results. Apparently I'm a lying whore who had 40 whole hours to get pregnant. I sign the papers.

Now 3 hours have passed.

And they finally give me the pills. I ask if there should be 2 pills. They have no idea. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Whatever, I take them. And then they let me go. So I didn't even bring up the stay part, I just fucking ran for it.

Then I got lost in the hospital -- but thats my fault. I know, I'm horrible about anticlimactic endings. But lifes life, can't make it up.

Anyway, thats how it went.

Then I went home and had left over indian food for breakfast and went to bed. I watched Stargate Continuum when I woke up. Good stuff. And then i watched Twilight and made banana nut muffins. It was nice. I was not aware Cedric Diggory was so fucking hot.