Need to borrow Geiger Counter

So my thyroids getting worse and worse. My resting heart rate is way to high and I'm burning up -- but am I losing weight, of course not. So anyway, I'm getting more radiation. This time they're gonna give me a pill with Iodine-131 and it'll kill off my thyroid. I'm gonna get the max dose they can give me without quarantining me in the hospital (I was kinda looking forward to it, was gonna treat it like a camping trip and vacation...). So I need a geiger counter for REAL this time. Must have readings.

Also there's pepto-bismol-pink smoothie on my ceiling, and you know what? I just don't feel like cleaning it off the ceiling. I got it off the floors and walls and out of my hair. But I stop at the ceiling. I really need a better blender.

Also Erin insists that I post about kickball on here. I'll have to get the courage up for that one. I was full of so much self hate after that game. Had 2 skinned knees and shins, sore as fuck and played horribly. Oh the horror. I just wanted to go home and clean my wounds and cry after that game. Its one thing that everyone knows you're not in shape. Its a whole different level to SHOW them. I will not be signing up for the company softball team - ever. It was just a faun casual game with friends. I was the worst! And Nathan kept putting his hand on my shoulder and telling me I was doing good -- thats when you KNOW you suck so much ass. So I dont think I'll ever be invited back, but I dont think I'd go if I was. I ran after a lot of balls while cursing and flipping people off. I did make one spectacular catch which burst a few vessels in my hand (is kicking it that hard, really necessary)? That catch was awesome and I celebrated it. It was not enough to redeem the entire effort.

They convinced me to go hang out afterwords, which was better than going home and crying about how much I suck. But I think waiting a few hours to clean the dirt and rocks out of my knees wasn't my best plan. That shit HURT. A LOT. Mom says peroxide doesnt hurt -- oh hoho oh, I beg to differ. That shit hurts. Jack was so worried about me that he got in the tube with me to see if I was ok.

God bless ambien, I'm in that druggy loopy stage where I shall drop any minute. Bed...


Blogger Michael said...

I heard a lot of whining from nathan and richard that night and the next couple of days about how sore they were :P I don't think it's just you that's out of shape..

1:52 PM  
Blogger penn said...

maybe that's precisely why you should play more. honestly, I bet your friends don't care how well they play -- it's just fun to be outside, goofing around and playing games with friends. Why not trying going again a time or two?

The first few times I played softball, I was miserable. I thought my team hated me for always missing the ball or dropping balls. But I kept on because my best friend played and she wanted me to keep coming, and everyone on my team kept encouraging me. By the end of my second season (right before I moved away), I was barely better. Frankly, I still sucked . . . a lot. but it was still lots of fun to just goof around.

The key, I think, is letting go of perfection and even of doing well. Acknowledge the crappiness and revel in it :-)

7:12 PM  

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