I've been accused of having abmoral paranoias.

Tonight I witnessed a new hatching of baby cockroaches. In my apartment. Kyle came over and showed me his new bike and then when I walked up stairs I noticed something white at the base of the garbage can. Well, obviously Jack put something there. So I bend down to look closer before touching, and its crawling. I thought it was a bit of food covered in maggots. GROSS, Jack! So I get a flashlight to investigate further (even though this is just at the base of my garbage can -- no where near secluded or dark AT ALL). Roaches. Ittby bitty tiny clear-skinned roach babies. Who thought it could be worse than maggots?

Had there been someone else around, I'd have freaked. But it was just me and so I was the only one to clean it up. So I did. I got all of them with paper towels and stuffed them in a ziplock bag to die a slow and painful, suffocating death - with no chance of escape - in my garbage can. And then I cloroxed the entire area. And then I had to vacuum the entire house. And then, well of course I'm calling the landlady to get a bug-man up here asap -- so I have to have a clean house. So I scrub the kitchen, do the dishes, clean the entire house (not that my house is ever that messy, ask anyone). And then I bug sprayed every where I could think to bug spray. I hope my cats won't die from the fumes; it had to be done.

Then I took a shower and thoroughly cleaned myself. Twice, because - oh my god - I can feel them on me. I briefly considered chopping some of my hair off just to make sure. I've been meaning to get it cut anyway.

Bed time.

But what if there are roaches IN MY BED? Well they had a whole host of babies right out in the open on my carpet. I looked up their life cycle, those babies were less than 4 hours old, and I haven't seen any parents. And surely my bed is a more dark and closed off space to lay eggs, right? Ok, I'll closely examine the bed before laying down. That'll work. But wait, what if they're between the sheets? Well, obviously all of my bed linens must be changed out for clean ones and washed immediately. And then I had to vacuum the mattress to be sure.

Ok, I think I might possibly be able to crawl into bed now. Maybe.

So that's why I didn't go to bed on time. Not my fault.

I think I need another shower.


Blogger Cricky said...

I'd still be showering.




9:18 AM  

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