February 19th: The day I get superpowers

So the nasty pills aren't working and my thyroid is worse off than my doctor originally thought. Are we back to cancer? I don't know. I do know that I'm scheduled for and iodine radiation treatment on February 19th.

So is there anything cool you can do while you're radioactive for a few days? Make lightbulb light up? Glow in the dark? There has to be something.

And here's my secret anticipation:

If ever I were to get superpowers, this would be it. *cross my fingers*

I'm serious.

There seems to be some speculation that I'm not really going to Scotland. Oh, I'm going. Timeframe? When I get a job there. Preferably before I'm 30. I'm 26 now, I'll graduate at 27. Once I get my degree, I'll start saving and blanketing Scotland with my resume. When I get a job, I'll go.

I even just bought the cats Sherpa carriers. Airline approved very expensive cat carriers. My cats shall be carry on luggage.

Camera is dead.

My digital camera is dead. If it wasn't, I would show you the gorgeous stained glass butterfly I made this weekend.

The butterfly was a really fulfilling project. I sketched out ideas in my drawing pad and refined the pattern about 5 times. Seeing my sketch come to life was pretty awesome.

I drew it up Thursday, but I was too intimidated by the pattern to get started right away. Each wing has 17 pieces for a total of 34 in the entire thing. 12 of those were very tiny and a few had some hard curves to cut. I finally went for it on Friday and I'm super pleased with the result. I think when you see it, after this description you'll be a bit disappointed -- but I'm thrilled with it. I'm especially pleased with the symmetry. Before I soldered it together, I placed the two wings on top of each other and the pieces and lines matched up perfectly. I'm proud of that :) Of course now I don't know what to do with it, but it's pretty.

I'm taking the camera card to work tomorrow to get the pictures off the card. I'll post a picture soon.

Love: And Other Disasters

I just watched this movie (Love: And Other Disasters) on Showtime. It's not a typical chick flick romance - it's actually funny as fuck.

The reason I post about it though, is that Catherine Tate didn't suck in it. She was fucking funny. I loved her. I've hated her as the most recent Dr Who companion -- shes been so damn annoying it**. In this movie, however, I see why shes famous. I'd recommend it just to see that Catherine Tate doesn't suck. Plus there's lots of hot guy-candy for us girls to look at. And for the guys, if you like Brittany Murphy, shes mostly naked for very large chunks of the film -- and her bodys not bad at all. Something for everyone! The ones in love and the bitter fucks.

//End post about movie

Footnotes (which include Doctor Who series 4 spoilers from here on out):
**I hated Donna as a companion after Rose and Martha. Martha was awesome, Donna was annoying. I think they did her wrong though -- Donna had a shitty ass ending. I mean I didn't like her, but there were better ways to end her character. Why didn't they let her find the guy with the stutter from the Library and live happily ever after? Now she'll never find him! I hate that they did that. And she begged not to go back -- he shouldn't have made her. I HATED the way they ended her character. HATED it -- and I didn't even like the character.

*An aside, I hate that the Doctor keeps falling in love with everyone (Rose, The girl in the fireplace, the teacher, the chick from the Titanic... probably more). And even though he didn't fall in love with Martha, they still had to write her character as being in love with him -- thats lame as fuck. Martha was perfect except for that. Stop having everyone fall in love with each other -- it's lame -- and cheapens the hell out of the Rose story line.

//End spoiler rant

The Cancer Debacle

I'm pretty sure I'm using "Debacle" wrong in the title, but thats just the way I use the word. There was something else like that that Erin pointed out to me the other day -- and I didn't believe her so I called my momma to prove her wrong. I was wrong. Erin, what was that?

So last week we thought I had cancer. Thyroid cancer to be specific. Here's how it happened:

My psychiatrist decided to test my thyroid a few weeks ago. Every psychiatrist I've even had has thought I had an under active thyroid -- apparently my brand of crazy comes from an under active thyroid. I'm always sorry to disappoint them, but I let them run their little tests. As long as you give me my Klonopin, I'll do whatever you want. Test me! And she didn't just test my thyroid, she ran the gauntlet on me. I think her blood tests were more thorough than my yearly ones are, but hey, I'm all for getting checked out -- I have great insurance.

Of course this begs the question -- what the fuck is a psychiatrist gonna do about anything that might be wrong with your blood work anyway? So I had the blood work copied to my real doctor. So New Years Eve I went and had 8 vials of blood drawn. That in itself was an event -- but that's another story.

So A week later I'm at the ENT scheduling my tonsil removal (goodbye old friends). My doctors assistant calls. I have a hyperactive thyroid. The doctor will be calling me shortly. OK.

So I schedule my tonsils to be removed on the 19th. The ENT Doctor goes through all the questions I already answered in my paperwork and he comes to the thyroid question.

"Oh hey, I just found out I have a hyperactive thyroid -- sorry, they just called."

And apparently this is a very bad thing. The tonsil removal was called off and I was told that putting me under anesthesia would be very risky and there was no way he'd do it until my thyroid tested normal.

Dammit, I was looking forward to that week off.

So then my real doctor calls me. He wants me to have an ultra sound. Right now. Can I go and have one? Right now. Well shit, that doesn't sound good does it? So the hospital called me and scheduled my ultrasound for 5:15.

This gave me just enough time to google hyperactive thyroid and its causes. Apparently tumors are a cause. And my doc just ordered an emergency ultrasound -- well fuck.

So I go lay on a table in a dark dark room with my shoes off while I get my neck scanned for 40 minutes. It actually felt rather nice. The person doing the scanning apparently isn't allowed to tell me anything though. I asked. I had 40 minutes to harrass her, you know.

"So you really can't tell me? ... I promise I won't tell, come on. ... See anything? ... No? ... Why do you keep coming back to that spot? ... Oh come on, you can tell me, I won't sue."

I got nothing. And my doctor was closed the next day. I didn't hear back from the doctor for TWO WHOLE DAYS. Thats 2 days of maybe having cancer.

Not cancer. Or at least theres no suspicious bumps, bulges or growths on my thyroid. It is however, like my tonsils, enormously huge. He told me that there was a chance it would take care of itself, it could be treated with medicine, or maybe surgery and radiation. He asked me how bad I felt.

And by now I had looked up symptoms, right? Well I have a lot of them! Everyone who knows me knows that I'm hot natured. I can not get hot. If I get hot, I get nauseous and sick and pissy as hell. I keep my home at a nice 65-68 degrees. I provide blankets for company. Apparently heat intolerance is a biggy. If you're curious, I also have had really short and light periods for the last few months. Oh and my appetite is insane lately. So doc decided medicine should be started and we'd do blood work in 2 weeks to see if it's having any effect.

So he called in some prescriptions that my pharmacist refused to fill, but you can read that in my last post.

Anyway -- now I'm taking medicine that makes everything taste bitter and gives me a horrible stomach ache. Lame. And I might have to have radiation and/or surgery even though it's not cancer -- also lame. I'll let you know how it goes.

If I get an awesome neck scar, I'm telling everyone I got stabbed on the mean streets of Birmingham. Also I hope I can get my tonsils out soon -- I really want that week off.

My Ex-Phamacists is a Fucking C*nt

And I think thats the absolute worst thing you can call someone -- I've never used that word. But she is.

This will make more sense after the post I'm about to write, but here's a reply I just sent to my sister, who heard about my bitch of a pharmacist from my brother who heard about it from my mom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I was FURIOUS all weekend. My doctor called in my thyroid medicine after the office had closed for the week so there was no way for me to get it called in anywhere else. I was getting the thyroid med and an appetite suppressant so I maybe won't feel like I have to eat everything in the refrigerator.

The pharmacist wouldn't give me EITHER ONE. She said that they didn't pronounce the thyroid one correctly and she didn't think that was the one they meant to prescribe so she wouldn't give me that one. And she wouldn't give me the appetite suppressant because she said it would make me anxious and make my heart beat faster. And I explained that my metabolism is in overdrive and therefore I'm constantly starving -- even after I've had a meal. She told me to EAT A BOWL OF OATMEAL. I was like you dont fucking understand -- I'm not getting full -- I just feel like I need more and more food. There is no full. I'm having stomach cramps, I'm so hungry. She said I should try Alli or something that works on a different medicine but that she would not give me any appetite suppressant. And I was like listen, I don't want to fucking lose weight -- im not trying to diet here, I have an actual problem and I'll be damned if I'm gonna GAIN weight because of my stupid thyroid being out of whack. UGH

All I could think was, this is the type of person who wont give a rape victim the plan B pill. I know this is not on the same par, but what gives a fucking assistant pharmacist the right to question my DOCTORS orders.

And you're totally right. I had to wait until Monday to call my doctor, who needless to say was FURIOUS. He told me to go to a new pharmacy and never go back to that one (Publix on Madison Blvd / Hwy 20 and Shelton Rd -- Assistant pharmacist Lucy). The nurse I talked to was also furious LOL and told me to complain to her manager and the pharmacy board. She said shed try to get the Doc to complain too but that he probably wouldn't.

Oh and Sunday I had to go pick up my Prozac and Klonopin right? And so I call it in and obviously she had a note in the system or something but she started going on about how she had hyperthyroid too and blah blah blah and asked me not to tell my doctor her name because they get mad when the pharmacist questions them -- no SHIT. I was like listen, I'm just calling in my prozac, just fill it.

And Monday I took all my prescriptions (including the new ones) to RiteAid and had them transfered.

I can't believe she told me to eat a bowl of oatmeal! I felt like I was being treated like a super fat person again. It was horrible. How completely unprofessional of her. Eat a bowl of oatmeal -- UGH.

Anyway, the new thyroid medicine puts this horrible taste in my mouth after I take it -- even though I swallow it without letting it touch my tongue -- it just makes me taste bitter for an hour. And it upsets my stomach a lot. A week from today I'm having a full bloodwork again to see if/how much of an effect the med is having. I'll let you know how it goes.

End of Christmas Vacation

Well. Tomorrow morning i go back to work and back to school. This Christmas break has been one of (if not the) best I've ever had. I took a vacation at home -- and it was awesome. Mom even came up for a chunk of it.

I got a ton of Christmas presents which was completely unexpected. The stained glass gifts I gave went over wonderfully. I sent out over 30 Christmas cards -- thats a new record. I got a green nano and a lovely leather chair for my living room. And good Lord did I get Christmas cards! I hardly ever get Christmas cards -- maybe 2 a year. This year though, I got a table full. That was as good as the presents! I felt so special and loved! Thank you to everyone who sent me cards -- I <3 you!

I'm dreading this year already -- work and school. Forever school. I pray that I will not waste this year. I don't intend to do anything grand -- but I want to live in this year. Actually live and not just go through the motions.

Oh, and Happy 2009! Ask me when I graduate. *pause* NEXT YEAR! That's right! I should be done in 2010 -- thats inspiring!


Mom and I had Ruth's Chris on New Years Eve. Best dinner I've ever had. I had the filet, mashed potatoes and augratin broccoli with bread pudding for dessert. The filet was well as I always request -- and yet still moist and pull-apart-tender. It was fabulous. I see what the hype is about. Pricey, but excellent. And good lord, we had 3 bags of leftovers to bring home with us -- they give you tons of food.

I'm not looking forward to returning to work or class, but at least i
ll be having my tonsils out this month -- more days off! ;)

PS: No idea how I'll get Jack on a plane to Scotland - he won't go in a crate, ever. I guess this is something to worry about when it comes.




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