This calls for new hair.

Sometimes you have a really fucking shitty week. Sometimes you wake up Monday morning looking forward to lunch with the guy you're falling in love with - the guy who has been your best friend for months - the hot sexy motherfucker who can make you laugh even when you forgot to take your klonopin.

Sometimes that hot motherfucker lies to your face. Sometimes you find out that hes been fucking your coworker who's 200 pounds heavier and 20 years older than you. And if you're having a really fucking terrible week, they'll both lie to your face and you'll get lost and confused and realize that they're not only bad people - but they're fucking insane too.

That ugly crazy chick whos fucking the man you love might even go as far as to put in a complaint to security and send an email to all your coworking friends to say that this man *insert picture of hot man here* is harassing her and YOU! And she'll tell everyone that shes afraid he'll kill her -- She'll buy a gun and you'll give her your pepper spray because some people are simple and need such talisman to feel safe.

And then the motherfucker you loved will grasp at straws and try to get either one of you back -- he'll go to her house and she'll show him the gun. Will he get shot? No, no my friend -- he'll actually end up playing with the gun and fucking her again. While the ugly fat bitch is on her period. Without a condom. And your now evil enemy will even tell you how good the man you loved is in bed. She'll actually brag to you about it at work.

And my friends. This is where you bale. Run the fucking other way. Not that they'll let you. And yes, your unlucky ass will run into them dining together in public. You're a lucky one, you! So lucky that your cell phone company informs you that you can't block a single number -- they don't have that capability. And then you're just gonna have to suck it up and cry while they text you and call you and just refuse to leave you alone -- they're crazy, this is what crazy people do.

And when you sit in the bath or eat with your friends or drive your car, there will be nothing else you can possibly think about. It will consume you.

This my friends, is the kind of bull shit that calls for new hair.

New Hair.


I'm going to go smoke a fucking cigarette. No, I don't smoke anymore. Don't judge me, it's been a bad week.

7 Comments:

Blogger Tel said...

Jesus, H! No wonder why you haven't been online! Gah! What a mess!

4:34 PM  
Blogger penn said...

on the plus side, if you can really consider one here, you look really damn good in that photo. Great progress!

6:23 PM  
Anonymous protomech said...

No class .. or apparently tact.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Cricky (Who Is More Than Just A Girl) said...

I've wondered where you went....now I see what was keeping you busy.

What in the hell is wrong with those two? I'm positive that you've figured out you need to stay away from them.

I love the hair, it's really sassy.

4:57 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Thank you for the compliments on the hair and body (Notice you don't see my ass, hips and stomach... hehe).

And yes, I've figured out to stay the fuck away. Which is of course easier said than done since I work with her.

Michael, I hope you're saying they're the ones without class and no myself for posting this on the internet. At lease I didn't post pictures, names and/or links ;)

I actually find that this is far more upsetting than when Kyle dumped me. Of course Kyle was actually a man and wasn't fucking a fat chick -- but still.

I've also been busy on eharmony -- but right now I'm just going to let that expire and be still for a while -- get my bearings back.

5:32 PM  
Anonymous protomech said...

Sorry - of course I was referring to the "they".

7:57 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

I figured -- just had to make sure ;)

11:06 PM  

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