The Fat Girl

I'm watching "Without A Trace." The missing girl in this episode is over-weight and tried to kill herself after a particularly horrible attack. Through interviews they show people taunting her, ridiculing her, and generally making her life hell. This makes me so sad. And it's not a surprise that it makes me sad -- of course it does. But it also made me nearly vomit.

This is a TV show, yes. But it brings back hard memories for me. Saying people "suck" or that they're "mean" doesn't cut it. This whole society is beyond fucked up. To treat someone like people do (and did to me) -- for being over-weight. Ugh. It makes me want to become a vigilantly and start removing people from the planet. Not that there would be very many left afterward.

I'm just sick now.

And this actress isn't even fat at all, by-the-way.

Edit: This is a comment I just dropped in reply to some of the other comments. I wanted to bump it up to the main page here:

Last night I really had to wonder how I would raise my children to not be such assholes. I even had a dream that my own kid was making fun of a fat chick -- how the hell would I handle that without wanting to beat the shit out of him?

I know that me bitching about it isn't going to change a thing -- but I'll never get over being the fat chick. I still cringe and cower and fear someone treating me like they used to. I say things and people are like "why would I DO that?" And I'm like -- hey, it's happened before. I can't move past that fear of people -- the fear of being the fat chick in school. When I was in elementary school, a guy named corey even asked me out -- only to make a huge joke of it and have everyone laughing at me. Actually, that happened to me twice -- just like the girl in the episode. "Hey watch, I'm gonna act like I like the fat chick -- she'll actually believe it too."

There's nothing to fix that. some stupid asshole kid making a joke like that -- and it really scars you for life.

Just this past summer -- at my current weight of 180 (down from 340) -- I was waiting for some friends at the pool and two little kids actually pointed and laughed at me. And it was only made worse when I took my swim cover-up off. It never stops.

Sometimes I just want to go back to never leaving my house. That was kinda nice.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Karoli said...

I agree with you. It was heartbreaking to see it, and wasn't she an athlete, too? Hiking?

People can be horrible.

2:06 AM  
Anonymous Erin said...

My thing is when they use a fairly normal size actress to play a fat woman. They are all "we are trying to show the horrible way they get treated to make people more sensitive." Hell with you, hire a freaking fat woman and give her a paycheck.
Anyway- Karen- *huggles*

8:13 AM  
Blogger Just A Girl said...

It makes me sick to no end when I watch a size 10 actress play the overweight girl. It makes my heart break to hear my friends talk about how much they hate themselves. I am a big girl. 260 pounds of post-pregnancy, childhood obesity, insulin resistant woman.

I'm so tired of hearing the ads for tlaking to your chidlrne about saying no to drugs, say no to smoking, get fit for life. How about an ad campaign that says "don't be a bitch. Don't make fun of fat people."

9:20 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Just a girl, that made me laugh. I wish a program like that existed. Though it would only end up parodied all over the internet and mocked.

Last night I really had to wonder how I would raise my children to not be such assholes. I even had a dream that my own kid was making fun of a fat chick -- how the hell would I handle that without wanting to beat the shit out of him?

I know that me bitching about it isn't going to change a thing -- but I'll never get over being the fat chick. I still cringe and cower and fear someone treating me like they used to. I say things and people are like "why would I DO that?" And I'm like -- hey, it's happened before. I can't move past that fear of people -- the fear of being the fat chick in school. When I was in elementary school, a guy named corey even asked me out -- only to make a huge joke of it and have everyone laughing at me. Actually, that happened to me twice -- just like the girl in the episode. "Hey watch, I'm gonna act like I like the fat chick -- she'll actually believe it too."

There's nothing to fix that. some stupid asshole kid making a joke like that -- and it really scars you for life.

Just this past summer -- at my current weight of 180 -- I was waiting for some friends at the pool and two little kids actually pointed and laughed at me. And it was only made worse when I took my sim cover-up off. It never stops.

I mean i just want to go back to never leaving my house. That was kinda nice.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been a big girl, at least a little big most of my life. I've had a few heartless kids tease me, but for the most part, I had great friends, enjoyable romantic relationships and a happy life. I just don't let a number on a scale define me - and trust me, my number is plenty high.

It irritates me too to see the size 10 actress playing the overweight girl. I don't know I'm just losing sympathy for myself anymore. So I ate myself overweight....now it's my responsibiity to lose that weight and be healthy. The fact is that society has a bunch of backwards ideas and the stereotpying of overweight people is one of them.

What society and some dumbass kids think will not define my life. I know I'm beautiful, my husband knows I'm beautiful and the people I've chosen to surround myself with know I'm beautiful. Those jerks who like to snicker - they don't matter to me.

It breaks my heart to see that you are still in so much pain even after your great losses. Don't fear being fat or thin - just be you and let everyone see who you are inside.

:)

9:18 AM  

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