After Surgery

My surgery was this morning. Dr Facundus (the most awesome doctor ever), took out my gallbladder and looked around. He said everything (else) looked great but that my gallbladder was inflamed and full of stones. I'm told that my bile duct is larger than it should be -- meaning I've passed a few stones -- which luckily didn't get stuck. And since my gallbladder was actually inflamed, contrary to previous belief, that's probably what was causing the near-constant pain. I feel hopeful that this will have been the complete solution to my pain.

Today I felt better than I thought I would but tonight I'm in horrible pain. It's impossible to sleep. My abdomen and incisions feel reasonably fine -- just a little discomfort -- but my chest is killing me. This is most likely gas left inside me after the surgery (they have to blow you up to see inside you, you know). This is normal and expected -- but damn it hurts a whole fucking lot. No sleep for me tonight :( So since I'm up, here's an account of the surgery:

I was at the hospital at 7:40 with my mom. After my check-in and paper work and waiting, I was taken into pre-op. I stripped down and put on a teal hospital gown, super tight white leggings and little teal footsies to top it off. Over all, I think I wore the look well. (Though I feel the need to point out that getting the stockings on was near-impossible. I had to put a leg on the wall and pull them as hard as possible -- I wouldn't be surprised to find out that I spent 5 minutes getting into them. Of course they made my legs look excellent -- white, but excellent.)

When the nurse came, I was informed that I had to give a urine sample. So I tried. Hard. I've never been able to pee on command. I just can't do it. And the fact that it had been 12 hours since my last sip of liquid and that I peed when I woke up this morning -- well, those facts weren't helping matters. After 30 unsuccessful minutes, they decided to start my IV. It went perfectly for the first time in my life. Both I and the nurse were way too excited about it. Then I was ordered to go pee. On my third trip to the bathroom with the pissy nurse, there was someone already in it. So there I was pleading with the nurse in the hallway (holding an IV bag, a urine cup, and decked out in surgery garb) when Dr Facundus walks up all cheery like he's meeting me at church and asks me how I am. I told him the problem. He ordered a catheter because it was time to do the surgery. Joy!

I've never had a catheter put in me while I was awake -- and I have to admit, it was an unpleasant experience. Having someone finger all over your privates while sing-songing "where are you, little urethra" is not an experience I feel I need to have had. Take my word for it.

After that fun, I was wheeled to the operating room. There, I had to scoot over to the the bed under the bright lights. They strapped me down. It was unnerving. About 5 or 6 people in blue then pounced. They swarmed around me asking me questions and poking me and hooking me up to monitors. Then I was told that my urine test was negative. "Negative for what," I asked. Turns out I'm not pregnant. All that so they could know I'm not pregnant. Because there's really a CHANCE that I'm pregnant. So the morning wasn't going too well for me.

I am, however, pleased to say that the last thing I remember from the OR was getting the bedding rolled up around me like I was a human burrito. This was done by a nurse who seemed to take pity on me. It was more than comforting. I was reminded of all the times I've done that to babies and dolls and puppies -- and then I remember no more.

I'm told I was in surgery for an hour and a half, and shortly thereafter, I woke in the recovery room. This was fun. Just like after the gastric bypass surgery, I was mostly paralyzed and in the most horrible pain of my life. I didn't think anything that bad would ever happen again -- I was wrong. I couldn't focus my eyes -- I couldn't move -- I couldn't speak -- and it hurt. A lot. And I wasn't quite sure where I was or where in time we were or why this was happening. As I tried my hardest, I became able to moan -- or perhaps it was more of a muffled scream and I started violently shaking all over (I'm telling you, I was in a lot of pain). The nurse, bless her heart, was trying to help -- she was rubbing my arms and legs and telling me the medicine was coming -- then she was telling me it would stop soon...

And eventually it did. So I apologized to the nurse for screaming and asked for my momma.

After that, I was told to put on my clothes and while I was still totally out of it -- only about half an hour after I was stitched up, I was being sent home and shuffled into the car. I'm really glad they didn't feel the need to observe me or anything. After my upper endoscopy I was in the hospital for almost 2 hours and given orange juice and they made sure I was awake and could walk. Apparently after surgery such measures are not needed.

I was home before noon. And the day wasn't too bad. There was discomfort but nothing I wasn't prepared for. Mom made me some soup and went to the store. Then she was furious when she came home and found me in the parking lot checking my mail. She picked up some dinner and we watched a movie ("Pan's Labyrinth") -- all in all a great evening considering. Then we went to bed. And now I hurt. A lot.


Blogger HEWY said...

Great Blog! i hope I never have to get mine removed

4:24 AM  
Blogger Just A Girl said...

I'm glad everything went smoothly for you.

Here's hope that life will be pain free now!!

8:49 AM  

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