The beetle stress balls will bring me the man with the heart above his head.

Friday we saw Hot Fuzz at the theater. I wasn't really too excited to see it, but damn -- I'm glad I did. It was awesome! If you loved Shaun of the Dead, you will not be disappointed -- I think Hot Fuzz is just as good. In fact, I think I shall go see it again.

Saturday we went Hiking/Camping/Geocaching on Monte Sano. I didn't spend the night though. I had really almost convinced myself that I was going to camp out with the guys -- but then when I saw how dark it was -- like absolute darkness all around you -- I canceled that plan. There was a definite lack of nightlights among the trees.

Sunday I cleaned. Hardcore cleaned. I had to prep my house for the Roomba -- and I went all out. I scrubbed the floors and the tub and everything -- and of course, I pulled out the vacuum (yes, I have a real vacuum too) so Roomba can just keep up with the maintenance cleaning. My house is now up to -- and possibly beyond -- the cleanliness standard I held before I started working so fucking much. It makes me happy. I even put the brand new 460-count Egyptian-Cotton sheets I got for my Birthday on the bed. I'm going the sleep well tonight.

Plus, I went to the grocery store and made the best beef-stew ever. Potatoes, carrots, beef, onions and peas -- all in huge chunks (well, not the peas). I did it in the crock-pot and holy-crap, I totally rock.

And the Roomba is so much more awesome than I ever imagined.


Ok, I know this is supposed to be Roomba's "special" time with the charger, but I couldn't help putting some batteries in the remote and firing it up... just for a second.

The amount of cat hair that that thing picked up in -- literally -- 2 square feet is absolutely disgusting. This coupled with the discussion I had tonight about dirty bathrooms means I must now go into a cleaning frenzy.

Seriously -- I think it came prefilled with cat hair. how is there that much cat hair under my table? I can't even SEE IT.

I'm horrified.

I guess at least we know it works. Really really well.

Evil Fed-Ex Bastards.

So I'm finally getting my roomba. A ROBOT THAT CLEANS MY HOUSE. I'm excited, right?

Well, Fed-Ex tried to deliver it yesterday and instead of leaving it at the front office (which they have to walk past to get to my apartment), they left a note that they missed me. So today I leave a big ass note on my door telling them that the front office will sign for it. So I leave work early so I can rush home and get to the front office to pick it up before they close. No package. I call Fed-Ex. I'ts out for delivery. 6:30pm -- still no package. I call Fed-Ex again. They apparently have until 8pm to deliver it.

WHAT THE HELL? So you literally have to wait all fucking day? This is worse than cable installations! And I'm going to a movie at 6:50! So do I wait and hope that the Roomba will come -- or do I go to my movie and possibly miss the delivery again because the fucking Fed-Ex bastards didn't decide to do their job and deliver the fucking package until 8pm?


I was supposed to get it tonight and plug it in so that it would be charged and ready to play with in the morning. I even ordered a pizza to celebrate. I have a pizza. I do not have a Roomba. BASTARDS.

I'm so not going to be able to enjoy my movie because of this.

UPDATE: exactly 15 minutes after I left for the movie (which was 20 minutes after I was supposed to meet everyone -- but don't worry, I called them) -- Fed-Ex delivered the Roomba. At 6:55PM. BUT WAIT! Right after posting this, I had a stroke of genius -- I could get my neighbor to accept the package for me! HA! She called me just as I pulled up to the theater to inform me of its arrival. WOOT! ROOMBA!

There is no such thing as a shark attack.

"There's no such thing as a shark attack. ...cause we live on the land. We live on the land and the sharks live on the water. That's their living room. That ain't an attack -- that's trespassing."

On the "brave" surfer girl who had her arm bit off by a shark -- and how she wasn't going to let it stop her from surfing again: "If a game takes my arm -- the game wins. Hands down. If I get shot on stage tonight, this is my last show. I ain't gonna play around and get shot again. That's your arm, yo. You can't be gambling with your last arm -- that's your last one! These ain't poker chips."

"I'll tell you what an attack is -- that's if the shark shows up somewhere it ain't supposed to be. Like if you're taking your shower tonight and there's a tap on your shoulder -- 'what's up? Don't be worrying about how I got in your bathtub -- you have bigger problems. Like yo arms.'"

-as heard by a comedian (on Conan) who started out pretty weak but had me crying by the end.

My Social Group

Interesting diagram of the relationships in my social group:

(Names have been blurred to protect the innocent)

Now we can optimize our movie seating for maximum social enjoyment!

Hole in One!

Did I mention that I got a HOLE-IN-ONE at mini golf last night? I did? Well, here's me looking damn cute doing it.

Pet Peeve: Lax Manners

A HUGE pet peeve of mine (not sure if it's below or above the mouth noises thing) is lax manners. And this goes doubly so for men. Actually, much more than doubly so. A man without manners is pretty low as far as I'm concerned. And I'm southern -- so when I say manners, I mean southern manners. In fact, I just don't think I could ever be with someone who lacks them.

So tonight I'm hanging out with a bunch of my amigos and I decide that I shall finally get around to changing all the lights that are out on my car. I chose to do it tonight because I was at a friends house and he has tools which I lack. Plus, it's always good to do car maintenance when there are guys around -- and this was 9 guys.

So explain to me how I still ended up doing it all myself and 7 of those guys never even PRETENDED to offer to help. Including one in particular whose help I ASKED for. What the fuck?

And these are all men who, I'm sure, consider themselves to be above average when it comes to chivalry and manners. No help. I'm not asking for more than I'm willing to give here either -- I open doors for everyone myself -- and I'm always there to help. Hell, I'm more handy with cars than most of the population and I always help -- even when I've no idea what I'm doing, I'll at least hold the flashlight for you. Nothing.

Man it pissed me off. I was literally pissed about it. How freaking rude and unmanly. I feel like dealing out some good hard pops on the back of some heads.

Oh, and by the way -- the Beetle now has all working headlights AND breaklights. Ok, so one of the back-up lights is out -- but really, I got the vital stuff. Thanks to Chad and Matt for the help. Apparently yall are the REAL men of the group ;) AND CHAD'S NOT EVEN SOUTHERN.

This could EASILY send me off into another rant about how I'm self-sufficient because I have to be and how I speak "dominantly" because some of us never had the privilege to be sweet meek little submissive women. If I don't do shit -- it doesn't get done. No ones ever taken care of me. I've always had to take care of myself -- even when I was a little girl. So I'm so sorry that I'm not a meek submissive female and that I intimidate you. I wasn't blessed to have man after man take care of me and move straight from my loving fathers home to my husbands and still have all the men in my life looking out for me and making sure my feet never strike the ground.

Ehem. Went a bit far there, didn't I? I'm done.

I <3 my friends.

I had people over for hamburger helper tonight (I treat my guests well. No, we didn't get to use the ketchup). Then we went to play mini golf! I got a HOLE IN ONE and came in second -- but as the only person to get a hole in one, I think it's safe to say that I kicked much ass. After the ass kicking, we went to get ICECREAM and discuss recursion (specifically why we have to learn it and how it eats up memory and is totally impractical to use in real-life) because we rock like that.


So tonight I was updating my calendar (I have to keep a wall calendar to remind me of what to do when -- I'm not good with remembering some things). I was checking off the bills that have been paid and filling in times of things I'm supposed to go to. I just filled out some birthday cards, nurses day cards, and my mother's mother's day card and was going to mark when I should mail everything, right? Well guess what I did.

I knew that Cole's birthday is Monday and Cindy's birthday is later in the week. I usually don't give my siblings presents because I'm usually poor, but this time I got Cindy a really sweet sentimental present. Tonight I wrapped it up with a card and addressed the package. Now what day should I mail it...


Her birthday isn't until NEXT month. In fact, it's over a month away. It's CRYSTAL'S birthday that is next week. And I already made my Hallmark card trip -- hell, I've even bought my other sisters Birthday card and that's over 2 months away. But I don't have the card I need for next week. This bothers me greatly. Plus I've got my sisters present and I hate waiting to give people presents. And I can't even tell her that I already got her present cause then she'll get mad that I forgot what month her Birthday was. And what if the card I wrote, sealed and packaged in a box that has been wrapped and also sealed is no longer relevant in a month? Dammit.

Also, I've got 3 boxes of Hamburger Helper and 3 bottles of ketchup. No, that's not random -- it's totally related. I kept buying them because I kept forgetting that I already bought them.

It is apparently time for me to start making more lists and writing more things down.

Contentment and ellipses go well together -- don't you think?

Sometimes, rarely -- I admit, I get this odd feeling of contentment. A fleeting thought that things really are wonderful. I can pinpoint two things that usually spur these moments (judge not):

1. Right before bed when I turn off the TV and turn on the radio to listen to in the shower. Then iTunes sucks me in and I get to loudly sing along to songs that are over a decade old now -- whose every note I know by heart (seriously, ask Crystal). And I get to listen to them loudly and sing loudly -- as late as I want -- and no one complains... cause I have my own place...

2. Bed time after I've picked up the house, cleaned the litterbox, fed and watered the kitties and set all my alarms. I load the dishwasher and start it and then crawl under the covers -- I can hear the mechanical swooshing and it sounds far away... and I feel like I've taken care of everything and done all that's expected of me.

Also, here's 2 bonus moments I can remember from my kittys:

1. Saturday when I decided an afternoon nap was called for before everyone came over. I had been on the couch with the laptop and the kittens were snuggled up on the futon (this is the way of things in my apartment). I went and got under the covers and I called them: "KITTENS! NAP TIME!" And they both came running into the bedroom -- and curled up together right against my back. It made me very happy.

2. A while back right before bed when I was kneeling on the floor and saying my evening prayers. When I finished I realized both the kittens were sitting next to me -- all three of us neatly spaced and lined up facing the same direction next to the bed in the dark. It was a very touching moment... I thought so at least...

Happy Saturday!

Today went well. I had everyone over to my place to watch "The Librarian" which was hilarious. I also prepared a wonderful meal of fettucini alfredo with chicken (which marinated over night in olive oil and fresh herbs) and fresh steamed broccoli. The garlic bread was even made with a homemade spread of butter, olive oil, fresh chopped garlic and fresh herbs. Oh, and did I mention the homemade cream-cheese cake (with strawberries) a-la the family holiday recipe? Uhuh. Twas awesome.

And I got a present! In honor of my shiny new permanent status at work, Erin gave me this:

Isn't it perfect!? I love it.

Also, my two-for-tuesday woot arrived this morning. AND I went in to the office tonight and finished up my work so I won't have to go in tomorrow! Yay for good days!

In fact, it was such a good day that I'll save the bitching for a later post ;)


So tomorrow (Saturday), I've got to go into work. And I was a bit irked by this until I realized that working Saturday means I get to cut one of my days in my short week off early so I don't go overtime. Ok, I'll trade that.

And I get to sleep till 8 tomorrow! And I'm totally excited about that. Isn't that sad?

Funniest thing I heard this week

As heard from an over-stressed engineer who just found out there's another change request on their project:

"It's a LABLE! ... STOP PRODUCTION! We have a sticker problem."

Please read that in the most sarcastic tone possible. In fact -- call me and let me say it just like he did. Cause I was in total respect of his humor through bitter-anger moment. It was one of those one of those things someone says that was just so perfect that they become remembered for it and quoted. It's a shame no one else seemed to appreciate it.

From now on, his name in my head shall be... Sticker Man.

**PS: As another note, I was testing a piece of equipment whose current hardware fix involves wadded up notebook paper and duct tape. I fear that most of the humor at work is wasted on people who just don't appreciate it. Actually, I fear that most of the humor of my daily life is wasted because I've no one to recount it to.

Notes for Thursday

There is nothing that will pop your big head and knock your ass down faster than a game of Trivial Pursuit.

Also, for future reference: No, I'm not in a bad mood. I happen to be sick. My job is to sit in front of a computer all day. And every time I scroll, I feel like a migraine is about to split my skull open and squish my eyes -- right after I hurl and then pass out. Seriously. Every time something moves on the screen. So I'm sorry that I'm not smiling and you still have to deal with my cynicism and what I delusionaly think is wit. I say the same shit I say when upbeat -- you just let it slide more when I charm you. I'm sorry I'm so fucking charming when I'm not sick.

Dear god -- it's not even Friday.

The Contents of My Purse

Main Compartment:
~ Keys
~ 3 scraps and 1 piece of paper with various phone numbers, emails, and addresses
~ Wallet
~ Mini Moleskin Notebook
~ Checkbooks (2 in leather sleeve)
~ Passport
~ Portable USB Drive (512 M)
~ Pens (2 Black, 3 Blue, 1 Red, 1 Green, 1 Pencil)
~ Coupons (Cat food & Cat Litter @ Target. Thanks, Erin!)
~ Car tag registration and Sticker (need to put that on the car)
~ Bottle of Aleve
~ 1 package of “Love Bites” mints
~ List of recalled pet foods
~ Clean & Clear Oil Absorbing Sheets
~ Blowpop
~ Mints from McAlister’s (2)

Inner Zipper Compartment:
~ EpiPen
~ Bandaids (3)
~ Packets of Tylenol Extra Strength (3)
~ Tampons (3)
~ Portable Shout Wipes (3)
~ Zicam Swab

Inner Pocket 1:
~ Cellphone
~ Rose Quartz Angel

Inner Pocket 2:
~ Eyeglass cloth
~ Business Card holder (with various store cards)

Outer Zipper Pocket:
~ Lotion (Aveeno)
~ Strawberry Lip-gloss
~ Antibacterial Hand gel (B&BW: Crisp Citrus Herb)
~ Lip Liner (Bed Head: “Chocolate”)
~ Lipstick (Bed Head: “Peace”)
~ Splenda (9 packets)


Sorry I've not had energy to update much lately. Standing in for a nicely formatted and thought-out post (wait, I do those?), will be this snippit from and email I just wrote to Erin:

"My week is only 1 day in. That is shitty. I've not got that new week rearing to go thing going on. I want to sleep and zone out and generally be REAL lazy. Even more than usual. And you know how I
got sick at Nathans after the video game? Well apparently that is going to be my bodys full on reaction to moving lights now. Driving at night sucks too. So does scrolling on the computer. No movey the lights. Do not like. Do not want. Makes my head hurt way too much, my eyes feel like concrete and my stomach want to be spit forth from my body. Just so you know.

Plus I'm super paranoid. A lot. Mustn't think so much. Mustn't form elaborate scenarios in head about people hiding things from me.

Oh and I totally fucked over dinner tonight. I was going to make the best soup ever. EVAR ever. I looked up a knock-off recipe for McAllisters Chicken Tortilla Soup. Went to the store and bought almost 30 dollars worth of ingredients. Fresh Cilantro, REAL onions, fresh garlic -- the works! I cooked up the chicken and my god it was perfect -- I sauteed my onions (through the tears) with my fresh
pureed garlic and REAL butter. Used real Half & Half -- bought the boxed chicken stock like they use on the food network. Chopped fresh herbs. I mean dude, I was rocking it.

I don't have much experience with cream based soups though. Well, I made one before and ruined it in the exact same way i ruined this one -- but I didn't know what happened. Apparently if you boil it too
long the milk separates or something? Yeah. Ruining 30 dollars worth of food and 2 gallons of gourmet soup after over an hours worth of work SUCKS. I threw it away. I ate a bowl -- it was OK, but I knew
I'd not eat any more of it. I ruined it. Tossed it all. Complete failure. Bummer."

On a more positive note, after bitching out my symptoms in writing -- I've made a great connection. It's motion sickness! The moving lights are giving me motion sickness! That's a common symptom of withdrawal. And you know what -- they make motion-sickness pills! I know this sounds obvious -- but it wasn't. This morning I was trying to do a code peer review which involves lots of scrolling through code on the computer -- I was about to pass out. Literally. I took 2 extra strength tylanol, 2 Alieve, and 2 Advil with-in about 2 hours trying to cut the headache. They didn't work. I'm so picking up seom motion-sickness pills on the way to work in the morning. Yay!

Oh and also. I bought the kitties a tunnel to play in. I was afraid they wouldn't like it. Now I wish it didn't make that damn crinkly sound.

(7 days and counting on the psych-med switching)

All Kinds of Wrong.

I just heard this song played live on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Take a moment to read over the lyrics:

"... You know I love it when you're loving me. But sometimes it's better when it's publicly. I'm not ashamed, I don't care who sees [...] Let's make love, let's go somewhere they might discover us. Let's get lost in lust -- We just don't care [...] I see you're closing down the restaurant. Let's sneak and do it when your boss is gone. Everybody's leaving, we'll have some fun. Oh, maybe it's wrong, but you're turnin' me on. Oh, we'll take a visit to your mama's house. Creep to the bedroom while your mama's out. Maybe she'll hear it when we scream and shout, but we'll keep it rockin' until she comes knockin' ..."

Dude. That's all kinds of wrong.

Some music is just trash. I don't care how they sing it -- it's still trash. What the fuck is wrong with the world? What happened to subtlety and hints and double-meanings? This is just wrong.

This probably isn't going to go well.

My life is going great. I can say with 100% certainty that this is the best year of my 24 years. And it's only getting better. Life is good. God is good. Friends are good. Hell, my hair is even good.

I'm sad to say though, that I still don't have complete control of my emotions. This is why I'm switching medications again. This never goes well for anyone and never has gone well for me. There will be massive withdrawals and a whole new set of side-effects. I'm prepared to accept the physical sickness that is sure to come my way -- but I'm not sure I'm prepared to fight the emotional roller coaster. I'm scared. I'm worried. I fear the consequences.

Here's hoping for the best.

For those who are close to me, please please please help me through this transition. I might be a bitch, I might be a basket case. If you hear from me and I'm crabby, bitchy or just plain obnoxious -- I beg your forgiveness in advance. And if you've got time to, maybe you can check up on me and make sure I'm doing OK. Prayers please :)

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