The Rules of Karen’s House.

Wifi is always free.

Sweets are good.

No gum.

No ice chomping. Ever.

Be nice to the cats (but don’t feed them).

Never mock the Beetle.


Anonymous Leah said...

no gum? What's the basis for that rule?

And no ice chomping? You're so draconian.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

I don't know a single person whom I can trust to quietly, and with their mouth closed, chew gum. Gum = smacking and general icky noises and nastiness. Therefore I have just skipped straight to the source and banned gum all-together. No gum.

And ice chomping need not even be discussed. You are not allowed to bring that in my house. It's my house -- I make the rules. I'd rather be alone with Jack than listen to you chomp ice.

I give you candy, cakes, and really damn good food. Plus free wifi, movies, games -- whatever. Your price is to use your mouth manners for the small amount of time you're here. If you can't respect me enough to stop chomping the fucking ice for 3 goddamn hours than fuck you.

Ehem. As Erin would say: Strong feelings.

10:40 PM  
Anonymous Leah said...


I bet you hate people who open mouth chew.

What about people who say something with food in their mouth?

PS I'd like to state that I, to date, have received none of that stuff . . . but it's prolly b/c I live in another state.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Tel said...

My husband is the noisiest chewer in the world. I get after him and ask, "Do you make this much noise when you're at corporate dinners? I bet you drive everyone crazy!"

But I have to admit that I'm a loud gum chewer. I love to blow bubbles, too, and then chew on them so they pop more.

7:30 PM  

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