Well fuck you too.

I just came home to a note on my door. It's a letter -- my landlords are exercising their right to terminate my lease with 60 day notice. But look -- they've included a new lease which I can sign to stay... all I have to do is sign on for another whole year from April... with a rent increase. FUCKERS.

So I had until May to decide if I was staying in my ghetto or moving somewhere safer -- now I've got a month. DAMMIT. As if I didn't already spend the majority of the day wanting to vomit and then hurt myself because I'M SUCH A BAD PERSON.

*sigh* At least I hung out with friends tonight instead of coming home to sulk in my shittiness. It's nice to be able to sit next to someone you just told how depressed you are in silence and watch your favorite show without them trying to check you into a psych ward. Sometimes a little company (with people who like you -- as is) is all you want. Thank you sweet little baby Jesus for sending me wonderful friends.

And dude, what the hell is the point of a lease sealing your rent agreement if they can cancel your lease and make you pay more or move out whenever they want? And even with the rent increase, it's still cheaper here than anywhere else... Can I afford much more? Is it worth it? Dammit, now I've got to make a decision much sooner than previously thought.

PS: Work is still awesome, just so you know.

Things I'm working on getting around to blowing time on.

I've got a pile of books my friends want me to read, 2 Netflixes I've had for over a month and not watched yet, and two brand new video games I've never played...

As soon as I get time, I've got lots of ways to waste it.

First, on my list are Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z. Yes, not only did I actively volunteer to read these, I bought them too. I'm flipping back and forth between utter shame and excitement. I was reading the survival guide at work today and made SURE no one saw what it was for fear of having to explain not that I was reading, but WHAT I was reading.

When I get done with the Survival Guide, my friends and I are going to have a meeting to create our survival plan. I'm all for this -- in fact, I'm pushing for it. One of the first rules is to form a group -- and dammit, when the shit hits the fan -- I want someone out there to give a shit if I survive. I mean that's like sitting alone in the cafeteria carried to the extreme -- but with death and zombies too.

And you know, the plan could be used for all manner of apocalyptic scenarios -- natural disasters, terrorist attacks, world war 3, alien invasion -- all sorts of practical reasons to have a survival plan. I live alone here in Huntsville -- I gotta make sure someone out there is going to help me survive. A person like me can't just rely on randomly hooking up with other survivors -- you know how finicky I am at getting along with people. I mean I only like about 10% of the population -- and when the shit hits the fan, a lot of that 10% might die. So I've got to make sure my group position is already reserved. This way, when the zombies are attacking and I've already sacrificed Tabitha to their hordes and am about to throw Jack -- my friends will bust through the door and save my ass. They need me to be the sarcastic and slightly off-kilter bat-wielder of the group -- because as Erin pointed out, I've got a lot of bitter rage built up -- and that might come in handy.

The first sacrifice to the zombies.

Yes, Tabitha still lives with me ...serving well as a moving target for Jack. In fact, as I type this, they're wrestling each other in the middle of the floor. Soon they will commence with the ritual licking.

But I LIKE to be lazy on the weekends...

So I call my dad today to say hello. I've apparently not seen or really talked to anyone since Christmas -- wait, what month is it? Anyway, he just bitched about when was I coming home. I said I wasn't sure -- he says I'm off on the weekends now it should be no problem -- the whole world does this 40-hour-week thing and THEY don't have a problem with it. Well, come my free weekend, I'd like time to sleep late, and clean my house, and pet my cat, and spend time playing stupid video games with my friends. Sorry, I'm not a bigger person, but this is how I'm doing at the moment. I have a life now -- a life in HUNTSVILLE.

Mom came to visit this weekend! She spent the night too. I slept on the futon -- it's kinda like taking a vacation or something. I might sleep in the living room tonight too -- its fun. And most of my friends were total sweethearts and came out to eat with me and my momma! And they didn't even act like it was all weird. I wanted her to meet my friends and see that I'm doing OK. Mom worries about me a lot -- and plus these are my friends - my life - and I wanted her to meet them. I'm odd, OK. I took her to work too to show her my cube. LOL. I wish she could have spent the whole weekend -- I miss her.

So today I woke up and had breakfast with mom. Then I spent the day on the futon watching the Style network (I don't have cable. It's Saturday -- nothing comes on basic cable on Saturdays. Except, apparently, for the old Louie the Lightning Bug public service announcements. No shit -- I totally watched them. Welcome back to the 80's). NOW I'm gonna take a shower and make cakes for tonight -- we're all getting together for Battlestar Galactica. Ok, so I don't watch that show and they're all hard-core don't-dare-talk-during-my show about it -- so I'm going to go over AFTER BG for Firefly (yes, we all own our own copy of the DVDs and we all love to watch them) and video games. And I'm taking cake. Because -- well -- I do shit like that. See -- relax on Saturday. No stress. It's nice. The cats like having me home. They do!

Kiss me, I'm Irish!

This is my new favorite shirt. It reminds me of Care Bears & Lucky Charms & playing Softball -- these things make me happy. This shirt makes me happy. Plus it has 3/4 length raglan sleeves which are awesome.

Thoughts

+ There is not enough time in the day -- not enough at all. Well, not in my day anyway. I guess this is punishment for all the time I wasted before. Damn, I've got a lot of punishment coming to me.

+ Tonight I had an hour after work and before class. I went to Old Navy but was too down to shop. Went to Office Max in search of stress balls. Didn't find any. Went to Linins & Things and had a handful of things I needed -- a dish brush, a lasagna pan, a measuring cup and a can opener. Then I put them all back and walked out. Dude, I don't even want to eat. ME. I really gotta work on this getting sane thing -- cause I should be on top of the world and there's no good reason for me not to be. None at all. I went to class though!

+ Why can't you buy a freaking stress ball? I can't find free ones or ones that cost money. Dude, I just want some stress balls for my cube.

+ If the equipment fails this much in the freaking air-conditioned lab where we are careful not to touch it or jostle it -- how the HELL does this survive in the field? No, seriously -- and why aren't we testing this is anyway that resembles how it's going to be used?

+ My teacher actually remembers my name. From the bullshit 102 class I took 3 years ago. I think I just surfed Fark for that entire class. And she remembers me -- and she remembered what class it was and how long ago it was and everything. Creepy.

+ I got a 87.5 on my test. I stuck it on the fridge.

+ Why do I always convince myself that I don't know the details of how a MUX works when it's like the simplest fucking thing. And then I always go -- Oh yeah -- THAT. Because I'm retarded.

+ I'm NOT a bad driver, dammit.

+ I actually had the idea to write a program to do what I was assigned to do. And I actually knew how to do that. That's scary. Dude, where did I learn all this shit? I totally wrote the program too -- I'm using it tomorrow morning.

+ Pouring a bottle of near-frozen water from the trunk on your iced over windshield = bad idea .. even if it IS natural spring water.

+ I got lost on the way to work today. No shit. I was trying to find a quicker way -- but I neglected to know the important fact that Jordan Lane turns into Patton Road. Seriously -- why do roads have to change names -- it's the same road it should be the SAME NAME.

+ When the remote dies, I just flip the batteries and all the sudden it's fine. That's messed up. I wish my cell phone worked like that.



Look what I did, momma!

You know how when you were little and you colored pictures in class the teacher would hang them all outside in the hall? And then you'd want to bring your parents to show them that -- look, I did THAT! And you'd want to bring them into the room to show them YOUR desk and YOUR cubby hole -- cause they were YOURS. You know that feeling? K.

Mom's coming to visit me Friday -- WOOT! -- and I wish I could drag her to where I work and show her my cube. And I want her to have dinner with my friends cause -- LOOK! -- they're MY friends. And I know none of that is appropriate. You have to wear a RFID tag that is visible at all times where I work so bringing my mom in to show her my cube wouldn't exactly go over to well. But I want to show her anyway. Look mom, I HAVE A REAL JOB! Look mom, PEOPLE LIKE ME! It's like reverse show and tell or something. And I'm an adult so I can't -- dammit.

Would it be totally weird to invite my friends to eat dinner with my mom? Erin met her last time she visited... I hope she spends the night. I love when my mom comes to visit!

Bongo's at Chad's house.

Okay, here's a candid picture of me trying to pretend like I can keep a beat with the Bongos. I can't.

I happen to think I look kinda fat and trollish in this picture -- but Erin disagrees, so I'm linking it anyway.

BTW, class tomorrow. I think that people hear me talk about how crazy I am so much that they underestimate it. I've told everyone I'm totally verging on mental breakdown here and I think they think I'm joking.

I'm not.

One day at a time... I can do Monday. Let's talk about Monday.


Erin had a totally deep insight about everything today. She said that when I started losing weight and shrinking and looking all cute that I became more aware of myself and therefore little flaws stood out even more -- you know, even though I'm looking cuter, I'm finding more flaws. Get it? Well now that my life is turning all spiffy, I'm finding stupid things to hate myself for when I should be on top of the world. Deep, Erin -- totally deep.

Now I've got shit to LOSE. Dammit. Now I've got all these awesome people in my life that I love and I've got a great job and I'm the smallest I can ever remember being -- dammit, now that life doesn't suck I'm terrified of losing it all. Things change in a moments notice -- I've seem that happen for the good a lot -- but sometimes it happens for the bad. I'm scared to be happy -- because that'll make it hurt even more when the shit hits the fan. At least if I never let myself enjoy it, I can say that I'd known it wouldn't last -- you know? And my friends are so awesome! And I'm afraid that I'll say something wrong in a minute and then they'll all hate me.

Man does UAH have free counciling cause I need a psychiatrist pronto. No, I'm totally not joking. Help me -- I don't know how to be happy.

He's famous now!

Look -- someone else took a picture of Mr Jack and even posted it to his Flickr! Now Jack's gonna be in the "year of photos vol 2!"

Come-on -- how cute is Jack? Look at him with out his collar on looking all wild and handsome.

Bongos

Tonight a bunch of us gathered at Chad's house to chill (cause I'm cool enough to use the word chill). We tried out a new game for the game cube -- Donkey Kong -- with BONGOS. Apparently it's like Guitar Hero -- but with Bongos. Oh yeah -- and it's fucking awesome. It looks lame -- it sounds lame -- we weren't expecting much. Chad got 4 sets of Bongos super cheap at Game Stop though so there we were -- with 4 sets of Bongo controllers. And dude -- it was AWESOME.

Playing by yourself probably wouldn't be fun. Playing with 2 people would get better.... but playing with 4 people is insanely fun. Each of you has your own rhythm to follow with the song -- there's left hits, right hits, both bongos at once, and claps. It's exactly like guitar hero in the set up. But dude. DUDE. having 4 people beat bongos and clap in synch -- PRICELESS. Everyone's smacking away and laughing and then all the sudden every one claps 3 times in synch then right back to smacking away.... Player three claps, player two claps -- all players clap, clap, clap. It's a riot -- I promise -- we all loved it. In fact there were 5 of us and only 4 controllers and we were totally not willing to share. No one wanted to stand this song out. I recommend it for groups -- 4 stars. I can't wait to get everyone together to play it again. That was better than the Wii.

We also played dance dance revolution. The first (and probably last time) I ever played. I suck at it. Hard. I did about 4 songs -- E E E D and E. Yep -- the BEST I could get on the "light" (aka as insanely easy level) was a D. Yep. I suck. Watching 2 people play side by side though is rather amusing -- I'll admit that.

Oh, and then we watched 3 episodes of Firefly. I love my adult friends! Who knew you were still allowed to get together in mass and play games all night when you're a grown-up? I didn't even get to have that much fun in High-School -- much less when I lived in a dorm. Now that we all have to be up early tomorrow and part to drive to different sides of town at the end of the evening -- when it's way less convenient --- NOW we all get together and have way too much fun playing video games. Better late than never :)

Candy is good, cake is better, and when the shit hits the fan there should be brownies.

I've been slowly but surely crashing all week. I'm not sure why that is. Is it Medical factors related to the large quantities of Paxil I consume? Perhaps PMS? Or maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep because I actually have a schedule and business and expectations now. Maybe I'm lonely. Whatever it is, it started this week and I've slowly been getting worse. By Friday I just wanted to cry and find some hidden cubicle to lay down in. Saturday was spent on my couch in my pajamas despairing and petting Jack who so doesn't deserve it. I didn't even have the TV or music on -- just laying on the couch despairing -- I say that rather than "thinking" because "thinking" usually has a reason and accomplishes something.

I keep have nightmares -- the mundane kind that sound stupid rehashed. Some software bug I can't figure out -- or I get fired -- or I break something at work. Like I said, sounds stupid -- but I've gotten fired in my dreams a few times too many lately. And school.

Ok, school might really be it. Friday I had the odd whim to pull up my transcript. I wanted to stab myself in the heart after reading it. I somehow always seem to forget how... bad... it is. Since I arrived in Huntsville 3 years ago and started at UAH -- I've been doing shit. Its horrible and shameful -- why am I even IN college? I've blown more semesters than not -- and even the GOOD ones -- if you can even consider them good -- I withdrew from something. I wasted some academic forgiveness retaking classes -- to replace an F with an F. There are whole semesters blown. Huge gaps in actually accomplishing anything. I mean what the fuck am I even IN college for? Because I have no good options other than that. I can't quit -- I can't take a break -- I have to be in college. But I don't want to be.

About 3 years ago, I lost all my motivation. All of it. Out the window. What I wanted in my life took a complete 180 -- and school went out the window. And I have yet to get it back. Now I've got a great job -- and I'm only taking one class -- and even then I keep skipping it. After working all day I just want to go home and sleep... Ugh. I hate myself right this second -- I want to slap myself. I want a cigarette. I never smoked a lot -- just socially -- and even then I haven't smoked a single cigarette in well over 3 years. But when I looked at my transcript thats all I could think -- I wanted a cigarette. And I still want one. Cause I'm a fuck-up and I hate myself so I should poison my body slowly because I deserve it -- I'm a bad person.

Everyone keeps asking when I'll graduate -- and the answer is just "not for a long time." And what if they don't keep me? What if they don't keep me cause I'm a fuck-up and I'm so under qualified and don't have a degree? Why should they keep me? Then where will I be? In a bad place is where.

You know the guy who started on the same day as me makes 5 times what I make. 5 times. And he hasn't done shit -- I've actually contributed quite a bit to my project -- and he's been sitting in a cube reading documents -- and getting paid shit loads to do so. And yet they'll probably keep him and not me... Because I'm a fuck-up.

A Black. A black clove cigarette is what I want. And then a sharp blade. It's none of your business what the later is for. I can't go back to that place. Ever...

I'm overwhelmed.

WOOT!

I'm psyched that NBC and ABC have started posting their shows for free online. This means that even though I can't make it home in time to watch -- I can still get caught up before next week -- which is awesome. This means that if you tell me what happens on the Heros or Grey's Anatomy that I might not have watched yet -- there will be hell (or you) to pay. Don't mess up my Grey's Anatomy.

Speaking of -- did you SEE last weeks? My lord I can't WAIT for this weeks. *SPOILER WARNING* -- You know Derek is gonna save her -- they foreshadowed it when he kissed her and said and "I AM your night in shinning whatever." And like she's in any real danger -- the shows named after her -- she's not going anywhere. She might end up missing and in a coma -- but Derek is TOTALLY saving her ass. And I'm gonna fantasize about it for days.

Speaking of fantasies, I'm gonna be real sexist and inappropriate here: *SEXIST AND INAPPROPRIATE WARNING* This working full time, going to school then coming home to make your own dinner sucks. (Don't get me wrong, I'm loving the job). And it doesn't just suck for us girls -- it sucks for the guys too. And you know what -- we used to have this shit figured out. Girls got to wear pretty dresses and jewelry and you guys went to work then came home to your wife who provided you with three things: Clean house, good food, and sex. Working all day isn't so bad when you get to come home to a warm dinner and sex, now is it? And then the damn feminists had to step in and ruin everything. Now we wear pants and work all day -- what the fuck? Take back my vote! I want the cooking and cleaning and the sex, dammit. I voted for Bush last election anyway -- I don't even DESERVE IT.

Also, I was just doing Karate kicks in the kitchen (hey, I live alone -- don't ask questions). This isn't a good idea when you're wearing silk stockings on a linoleum floor. No traction. It's kinda like kick back or something. Yeah -- ass busted. That'll hurt the ego.

I slack off for a measly two weeks...

Here is a gift for anyone who is convinced that I'm anal about cleanliness and anyone who feels the need to clean their house before I come over.

I vow not to let my house get that messy again anytime in the very near future (gotta leave myself an out ;) ). What you don't see in that picture is the bedroom, the 2 full bags of garbage, and the potato plant that grew under the bookshelf. Yeah, about that last one -- I blame Jack. Near as I can figure, he must have rolled one of the potatoes from my autumn arrangement under there... I guess I can't really complain -- at least it didn't rot. I've never seen a potato grow a full on plant before -- especially under a bookshelf. Who knew?

See, the whole OCD cleaning thing just won't catch. I think if I have to be neurotic, I should at least get something out of it -- like a clean house -- but noooooooooooooooo

WEEKEND!

It's been a long and wonderful two weeks. And I'm glad to have had time this weekend to catch up on my sleep. I think I slept a bit too much... but with all the wonderfulness I've had going on, I don't even have to beat myself up about it. That's nice.

It's been a long while since I got to stay in my PJs all day, blast good music on my radio and dance around the (filthy) house with Jack. I feel good about things. Lots of things that run the gauntlet -- some new, some old -- but things just seem either good or OK. Nothings catastrophic -- good things are on the horizon.

And lots of people who care about me are really happy for me. For one, it's odd to have so many people around who care about me. I'm not used to that. It's also kinda awkward yet fuzzy that they're all genuinely made happy by the fact that I'm happy. My moms all emotional -- my friends are happy/proud and in genuine smile mode simply because I'm thrilled. It's like I've been this long standing software/hardware project that they finally got to compile and run. They're happy that I'm not bummy -- not because of something I did for them... They're just happy for me. It's actually a really great feeling in and of itself.

And Kelli gave me a desk calendar. CAUSE I HAVE A DESK. I never had a desk calendar or a desk before. They're very nifty things, you know. And it's Far Side so it humors me. I plan to wallpaper parts of my cube with my favorites ;)

Now I shall clean my apartment. I've been so freaking busy that it's an absolute mess. I'm gonna cook dinner too. And wash laundry. And then I'll feel even better!

It's not a bug -- It's a "feature."

(Most of you have already heard this story -- so go ahead and forgive me.)

On the list of things being found to keep me busy this past week has been a quirk in the program. Not a huge deal -- but a bug that shouldn't be there. Thursday morning I decided to take it on. I spent hours throwing in debug statements then trotting down the the lab to see if they would shed some light. I even went as far as to throw in a pop-up every second so I could track what variables were messing up. And I found it! Before lunch I actually found what was causing the spike -- and I was thrilled to death with myself.

So I call in my supervisor and show him -- I found it! It was actually programmed to do that -- so we can just take out these two lines of code and it'll be gone!

He looks at it and ponders it. And then he tells me that it's useful so I should leave it in.

Yes.

For two week this has been a bug he hated. Now it's a feature. Oy vey.

A walking distraction.

One more day in my second week of work. Still going well. I'm doing more coding then I thought they'd let me -- which is awesome. He hasn't even checked my last few revisions, I just told him when I was finished and he told me to upload them. Now, that's a pretty big deal considering this is my second week there -- if I upload changes, well then the old documents are replaced -- meaning if I screwed it up then now it's screwed.

And contrary to what SOME PEOPLE might imply, I've gotten more work done then was expected or asked of me in far less time than was expected. My only worry is that the person I'm working under is the only one who knows the great work I'm doing -- and he has nothing to do with whether or not I get hired on long term or not.

And when did I learn how to do all this? I never paid any attention in class -- well, I paid attention in Java, but this is C. And tonight I was blowing time reading magazines before class and overheard some people having serious programming problems. I ended up tutoring 6 people for an hour. And they thought I was a freaking genius -- and yeah, I knew the stuff they were doing like the back of my hand and was able to offer more examples and down-to-earth explaining. So I asked them what class they were in -- 307. Yep, the class I bombed last semester. God that's sad. What's also sad is that I'm 24 and still a long time from my degree. They assumed I was a graduate student -- and people at work assume I'm graduating this semester. It's really a big downer and makes me ashamed... But then so much good is happening to me right now that I shouldn't let that bring me down. Things are what they are. I'm still doing great -- and have a better job than a lot of people get AFTER they get the degree.

And recently more than one person (one of which didn't even know me) has expressed that they don't see me staying single long. WTF? This guy I was helping with C++ tonight said that most of his time was spent between work and his girl -- and I said that luckily I don't have such problems. He couldn't believe I was single and said he couldn't see me staying that way long. I was like YEAH RIGHT -- Ms 24 and never had a boyfriend over here. Seriously -- what. the. fuck.

Oh, and I hung the pretty painting in my cube. So cute! Thanks for all the compliments (though i get the feeling Nathan didn't like it in person as much as he liked it in pictures -- which just means I get to keep it). And to Peg -- girl, I'm poor -- of course I'd sell paintings. It's caught a lot of attention -- which is kinda creepy because dude, it's bad enough that everyone who walks down the hall has a straight on view of me -- but they peek over the walls too. Someone came in and said it had caught their eye -- what the hell man? How the hell did that catch your eye? And why were you looking over my walls? I need a foot stool so I can look over the walls too. I'll tell you what -- I'm already the paranoid type that doesn't like people watching me. I always sleep with a door shut because I don't want people looking at me while I'm all non-composed and asleep. So you can imagine how this whole cube thing is working out. Of course I love my cube. Cause it's my cube. I have a cube -- isn't that fun?

One last thing: I got a shirt at Old Navy last night. A dress shirt. A black tuxedo shirt -- one of their nicer ones. Heavy black fabric with silk "tuxedo style" center -- and super cute triple-button cuffs. Totally work appropriate. Guess how much I got it for? NINETY-SEVEN CENTS. Yes. 97 cents. $0.97 -- How freaking cool is that? That's got to be the best deal I've ever gotten. The fabric is worth more than that! I wouldn't have paid full price for it -- the shoulders fit me funny -- but hell, there's no way I wasn't going to buy it. I even wore it to work today :)

*sigh* I'm already half-an-hour late to get in bed. There just isn't any time for ANYTHING anymore.

Hardware

My latest painting. It was inspired from some hardware schematics I saw at work. Of course those schematics came with heavy security so I was unable to paint them. This painting is taken from some diagrams Nathan sent me.

I painted it for my cube -- part of a 2 part series. This is "hardware," the second to be "software." Of course I have a feeling it's going to be stolen tomorrow... I love how it turned out -- exactly what I wanted. Very heavily textured -- the paint is so thick that it has cracked in some places as it dried (as I was hoping it would). It's painted in white gesso and black fabric "puff" paint -- I used a spork and a single paintbrush to do it. I'm very happy with it.

Looks like somebody's got a case of the Mondays

I've got to be one of the only people in America without a box of macaroni and cheese in their pantry. I've got a full stocked pantry -- and not a box of macaroni. They cost what -- a couple of dimes? I must have resisted all the calories. Dammit. I've got the stuff to make homemade macaroni and cheese though... There's an idea...

Also, today at work was wonderful. I was given a possibly impossible assignment to work on this week and if no solution could be found then it would just have to stay the way it was. I had it done by 3pm. Am I the shit or WHAT? Ha!

Oh, and I did a painting last night -- I'll post it when I get out of the shower and make dinner. Yes, folks -- she's an apparently excellent software engineer, a great painter, AND she cooks.

Spark

Friday, when I closed my first week at my shiny new professional, relevant job – I experienced a slight spark of a moment that I might just remember for the rest of my life. I felt good. I did good work. I did real work. I surprised not only my supervisors but myself as well. And that was good. And then as I exited the building, I saw my little blue beetle waiting on me (We already know how much having my Beetle means to me). It was mine – owned – possessed – 100% mine and it was just waiting on me to crawl in after a good days work and go home – to my home – my own place. And everything was OK. My future looks solid – I’m stabilizing, I’m making good money, I’m going to school, I’ve got friends of the highest caliber and I can support myself. It was just such a wonderful… feeling. A new one. A good one.

Old Job, meet New Job -- You've been replaced.

I have ended the first week at my new job on a high note. And now I have time to post some things because I’m currently sitting at old job. Yep, Working this weekend too – I’m a work-horse like that. Though each subsequent day it gets harder and harder to drag my ass out of bed. I look forward to relaxing with my friends this evening over pizza, Double Dash, and a crackling fire with smores. Doesn’t that even just SOUND cool? We rock like that. I love having friends. I appreciate them so much – which I attempt to convey by making them cakes and being motherly and feeding them. I doubt it works, but thankfully I haven’t driven them crazy yet ;)

This is my last weekend at old job. I typed up a lovely formal resignation letter and dropped it by this week. I’d rather have talked to someone in person, but I didn’t have time – and I won’t have time next week either. So I wrote up a letter to the chief and CCed it to all my supervisors and came by one night and left them in their mailboxes. I expected a phone call or something – but nothing. And I’m not on the schedule anymore so I know they got them. I suppose they’re mad that I’m leaving so maybe silence is better than the alternative – but it stings a little. I’ve worked here for nearly a year now. I’m good at the job – I’ve never called out sick or missed work. I’ve come in and worked extra shifts when asked AND I worked every single fucking holiday. I knew that we part-timers didn’t get any respect and I took issue with that, but this just proves it. I don’t even get a goodbye – just my name removed from the schedule. And I’ve wasted all this time feeling guilty about quitting…

I have lots to say about new job – but that’s a different post…




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