Rambles

Hmm, I surmise that I should post something. I could update you on what I’ve been doing – which is actually what I usually do anyway, but I try not to think of it that way so as to avoid the whole – I have a lame weblog connotations.

Friday I went home to Birmingham for my sisters Graduation from Nursing School. It was pretty cool getting to see her graduate – shes super excited. I got to be in charge of the photos and embarrass myself by running around the hall the entire time and crouching by the stage taking pictures. I’m good at this so I get stuck with it a lot. She’s graduating from Jeff State which is where I went for 2 years right after I graduated High School. Her graduation reminded me of what it was like to go there. I can honestly say that I enjoyed it better than UAH. I love living here in Huntsville, but classes at Jeff State were more fun. I was highly motivated and had less anxiety. I had a 4.0, friends in all my classes and organized regular study groups on the weekends. I miss that.

Of course mention was made of Karen finally graduating this coming December. I kept my little mouth shut and didn’t break their hearts and bring their disappointment with the whole “well… actually” drama of my current situation. I don’t really HAVE to inform anyone that I’m going to be working fulltime for a bit and not going to college… do I? What’s my obligation there? And how long of a window to I have?

Tonight I did up my resume. This week I’m going to do something with it. What, I do not know. Something though. If I can get a paid internship – that would be awesome. I’d make great money and cover my rent – and I’d also get in some networking, training, and great job experience. So actually, in the long run – getting a full time paid internship would be better for my career than just going ahead and hurrying up with the graduation. Of course I fear that getting an internship is harder than my friends let on and that I’ve gotten my hopes up about something that’s not really going to happen. If I end up working full time in the service industry – well, that’s gonna suck – but hey, gotta do what you gotta do. I’m also aware that I can take a job I don’t want to tie me over while I find one that I do. I’m stressing out to high-heaven, obviously – but I’m also comforted in the fact that this was my worst-case scenario and that I’m going to be OK. I’m also pleased as punch that my group of friends that I met only 2 months ago are turning out to be wonderfully helpful & supportive (of both helping me figure out what to do – and being aware of the fact that I need lots of cheering up sometimes – and they provide great social distractions).

Oh and my skinny pants that look so awesome on me and are the smallest size I’ve ever worn – dry clean only. Dammit. I wore them home Friday and mom commented on how great they were – then she commented on the fact that wow – they’re really nice lined wool pants. Wait. Wool? That means I can’t wash them! We looked. Nope – no washing. Dammit. I knew they were nice pants – but I bought them anyway. I’d not have paid full price for a pair of pants I can’t wash – I mean I’m still in constant need of clothing – I can’t be affording unwashable clothes. At least they make my ass look great.

Oh and I’m having to constantly tell myself that I’ve not gained weight. Like I know in my mind that I’m sitting there wearing a smaller size pants and that I’ve lost 3 lbs recently – not gained. But still – feeling horribly fat. I feel twice as big as everyone else. Not that I am… anymore – but I still feel that way. I feel like the ugly fat one. *bangs head on desk*

PS, I want to get my hair done – but last time I got it done it all went so horribly wrong. It doesn’t look bad – just would look better with a bit of fresh shaping. That’s exactly how it was last time I got it cut and had to wear it in a hair clip for 2 months. Maybe I’ll just dye it to soothe the urge… (dark rich brown dye – not pink, don’t worry).

Double PS: I turned the heat back on. It was fucking cold when I woke up.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Crystal said...

No, you should so get it cut overhere next to Saks and the Panera Bread store. Do it when you come down for Christmas. It is an upscale salon that spoils you and a haircut is like $35 for my hair. Yours should be about the same. Just a suggestion if you want.

4:01 PM  

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