So clean! ...A little too clean...

Usually, after working the night shift I go home and crash. Yesterday (or is it today – I’m confused) however, I opted to clean. Monday I’ll be having someone over who is super allergic to cats. Also next weekend, I might have someone spend the night who is super allergic to cats. This means that my normally clean apartment needs to be super clean. So I picked up some Fabreeze Allergen and sprayed the place down with that – cleaned all the upholstery and dusted – then vacuumed thoroughly. Then I gave both cats baths with special cat shampoo (a cat that just had a bath is positively the most pathetic thing ever – multiply that by 2). And to round it all out, I gave the kitchen a thorough cleaning, scrubbed down the bathroom and changed the futon cover.

A few things to note from my cleanings this morning:

1. Fabreeze Allergen Reducer (with the yellow cap) smells so much better than regular fabreeze. I don’t use fabreeze because I can’t stand the smell – but this isn’t bad.

2. A cat that has just had a bath has to be one of the most pathetic things in existence. Today, I experienced this times 2. I also managed to retain all my skin.

3. Holy fucking shit – Mr Clean’s Magic Eraser is the most awesome cleaning tool in existence. I am fucking AMAZED. Was it Tel that recommended this to me or was it Leah? I scrubbed my bathtub with this thing and I was so excited that I called people to tell them about it. Yes, I totally did. It uses no cleaners – nothing to rinse after done – doesn’t use much pressure – it’s like wiping something down with a damp towel – only magic. It painlessly and effortlessly wiped away rust stains that have been in my shower since I moved in. Professional cleaners didn’t get these out – I’ve never gotten them out with my scrubbing with various harsh chemicals and this little sponge just wiped them away. It even wiped away old paint that was on the floor of the tub. Literally – just wiped it all away. My tub is sparkling – LITERALLY. Holy shit. These things are AMAZING. You must buy them. I must go buy more – lots more. I must stockpile.

I also did all my laundry and cleaned out my closets and got everything all sorted out. I was so pleased with myself that I had to say a special prayer of thanks for being blessed with such a wonderful place to call my own complete with everything I need. It was nice.

And then as I sat down to check my email which I guess has become a nervous twitch in an odd sort of way – some odd compulsion. Must. Check. Email. …It occurred to me that my apartment was way too clean. It didn’t look lived in. Everything was in the proper perfectly cleaned place. Even the latest copy of Martha Stewart was placed at just the right angle on the side table. It looked like I had been on vacation for a month and was just returning home to the unfamiliar scent. It was kinda creepy. Even the cats smell like citrus. I actually cleaned too much. And it’s quite surreal.


Anonymous Leah said...

I don't know if I recommended them, but they are amazing. I don't use any now, but maybe I should pick some up . . . I wonder how they deal with mold? There's mold all over this ghetto ass house I live in, and I need to do some attacking with bleach.

you should totally come here and help me. I manage to get things mostly clean on a fairly regular basis, but my room still suffers from "I'm not sure how to arrange all this stuff I have, so some of it sits out, and I don't want to take pictures and look like I have this much stuff."

11:30 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Oh dude, don't talk to me about stuff. When I moved -- my family was PISSED that I had so much STUFF. They were like "we never had this much stuff when we were in college." As in seriously -- not joking, pissed. And I've probably doubled how much stuff I have since moving into the Apt. Ugh. It's sick. But it's my STUFF, you know? I liek it or I wouldn't have it.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Leah said...

yeah, I have a bunch of stuff too. my housemates make fun of me. I should prolly have less stuff, but it's hard to know what to cut down (plus, I got rid of TONS of books when I moved and a bunch of other stuff. I'm just (1) nostalgic and (2) have a lot of photographs and art supplies that take up tons of room).

my family, thankfully, understands my amount of stuff b/c they all own too much crap (except for my weird ass older brother that is mr simplicity, but he is an outlier since he owns plenty of the stuff he likes, like musical instruments and guns. they just take up less room and are more expensive than my things -- $150 in cheap jewelry or camping equipment from garage sales takes up way more space than $150 in guns).

5:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes! It was me! I LOVE them! I just bought more of them for my shower. The mold builds up on that damn shower every week. It seems like I'm constantly wiping off the mold. Oh, and my mold-proof shower curtain? Totally moldy.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Hmm, I need a new shower curtain liner. Mines clear and it's starting to get all cloudy and that's not very clean. Besides, Jack chew out the magnent weights so now there's a bunch of holes in it and the bottoms all chewed up. Yeah... I really do need to get a new one.

5:52 PM  

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