Don’t get your panties in a wad

I posted about Tabitha on Huntsville Freecycle to try and find her a new home. Naturally, all the goody goodies on Freecycle are emailing me to warn me about giving her away before Halloween – even though I’ve made it CLEAR that I’m just giving the cat away at random and placed specific requirements on any possible adopters specifically because of the upcoming holiday – and I added at the end of the post to NOT email me this shit. So, I’ve drafted up the following as a standard reply to amuse myself and possibly offend people. Thought I’d share it here.

[*snip*] No one’s paying to have a cat spayed just to sacrifice it to satan. Besides, I don't think they could work that out logistics-wise and have the cat ready for Halloween night festivities. I'm also sure that their dark lord would rather them sacrifice a un-altered female anyway. He probably doesn’t want 99% percent of a kitty and if they’re going all out with the kitten-killing, I’m sure they’re willing to go that extra mile to find an unaltered version. Hell, I found this one in a parking lot and I wasn’t even looking. If someone wants to give this kitten a good home, I’m not going to tell them no because of a stupid urban legend. Thank you.

So – rude enough? I’m sure that it’s sick that I get amused by being rude to idiots – but I really really do.