via Gaping Void


It's Halloween! I love me some Halloween. I just carved my last pumpkin of the year :( That's it in the picture -- the big one, that is -- the other two shown have since died. I've been carving pumpkins and gourds all month. My favorite was the face in the top left picture -- He got thrown out today.

As is usual for me on Halloween, I've no plans. I'll go to class and watch TV -- maybe hand out candy if any trick-or-treaters knock. But It's still Halloween so it makes me happy. I have some great Halloween PJ pants that I'm very tempted to wear all day. I can at least pull out the makeup and doodle on my face because -- come on -- how many days a year can I draw on my face, go out in public, and not be considered insane? These opportunities must be pounced upon.

I can't make any promises after tomorrow on how long that Christmas tree is gonna stay in my closet. I'm currently listening to the Third Day Christmas album as I type this because what on earth else would I listen to on Halloween? Exactly.


Oh this is just shameful.

Jack has learned the sound my laptop makes when it closes. There's a very soft click. I don't have to move in anyway -- in fact me rustling around doesn't get a response -- nor does my talking, laughing, or TV channel changing. But when he hears that little soft *click* he shoots up. That click means I'm about to pet him. That click means attention is coming -- she's about to move -- where's she going? I swear that click gets more reaction than the sound his food makes -- seriously. Kinda embarrassing.

Give me a knife, I'll give you all the blood you want -- but you're not pricking my finger. No.

So I went to the wellness center today. I had to go because they just changed my psych meds (again) and they have to make sure I'm not trying to kill myself on the new dose. She also wanted to test my blood sugar. Yeah, I don't know why.

So I got there and they couldn't find the nurse -- she was running around working on projects they told me. Cause you know, why be there in the office -- it's not like I scheduled an appointment or anything (yes, sarcasm). So they were like, "well she wanted some blood work -- we can go ahead and do that. Do you know if it was labs or just a finger prick." I told them it was labs because I wasn't doing a finger prick. They thought I was joking -- why on EARTH would I prefer a big needle over a little finger prick.

Let me think.

Well, my finger has a lot more nerves than my arm -- and those fucking finger pricks hurt. And they keep hurting -- your finger is sore for like a day. No ones pricking my fucking finger, ok -- I don't even need a glucose test, I've had my blood-work run for everything known to man more in the past 16 months than I have in my entire life. I'm good. So they decided to do a full out draw through a vein. Why cant you just nick me -- or poke me with the needle. You only need half a drop -- hell, give me the needle -- I'll do it.

Anyway, she was bound and determined that my sugar levels would be high -- again, no idea why. My glucose level was 61. Yep -- it was actually pretty damn low. Heh -- you were wrong. Again.

So I figure while I'm there, I'll hit up one of those free flue shots. And it totally made my arm numb. Is it supposed to do that? And then they couldn't let me leave because they had to observe me and make sure I didn't have a reaction. They didn't tell me that before they stuck me. I was late for class. Gave me time to DRIP BLOOD FROM THE NEEDLE IN MY HAND. Seriously -- did you need to find a huge vein for your half a drop of blood? Cause you could have just poked my arm and it would have worked -- hell, you COULD have gotten the blood from the flue shot prick if you wanted to.

And then they cover you in band-aids. I always leave the doctors (or in this case nurse's) office with bandaids. I think it's cute. I can slice half a finger off doing crafts and I don't get a bandaid -- but for a needle prick we do bandaids. I broke 3 toes once and the ER couldn't do anything for me but let me walk out and heal on my own. I've broken ribs without getting so much as an ace bandage -- but I get 2 bandaids for a prick. I'm not complaining here -- like I said, it's cute -- I'm just saying: doesn't make sense to me.

So then I convince nurse to let me go downstairs and spend my observation time at Mom's -- they have fat free low-cal smoothies. Mmmm. She's a reasonable person and agrees as long as I'm close. So I go get a sugar free strawberry with 2 protein boosters (BTW -- side rant: The chick in line before me got the strawberry which is exactly the same as the one I got -- but not sugar free and has 3 times as many calories -- someone explain that to me. Why not get the healthy one?) So when I go to pay, they can't accept credit/debit cards. Damn. So I give him my UAH card to see if there's any money left on it. Nope -- but there's an ATM in the other room -- thank GOD. So I go grab a 20 and come back. He tells me I should go put the 20 on my UAH card -- he'll wait. No. He asks me why not.

Hmmm. Let me think.

Well, I say, I can take this 20 any where in the world and theoretically they'd take it. Orrrrrrrrrrrr I could put it on my UAH card and only be able to spend it here, in the cafeteria, or on copies. Hard decision.

I swear, people in the UC live in their own little world. The world that I never understood. Like all the people that just sit in the UC lobby. Someone once told me to go sit in the lobby and meet people. Dude - what? Why would I do that? I just never got it. I still don't.

I think I've strayed from the original subject. Oh well. I'm done anyway.

Don’t get your panties in a wad

I posted about Tabitha on Huntsville Freecycle to try and find her a new home. Naturally, all the goody goodies on Freecycle are emailing me to warn me about giving her away before Halloween – even though I’ve made it CLEAR that I’m just giving the cat away at random and placed specific requirements on any possible adopters specifically because of the upcoming holiday – and I added at the end of the post to NOT email me this shit. So, I’ve drafted up the following as a standard reply to amuse myself and possibly offend people. Thought I’d share it here.

[*snip*] No one’s paying to have a cat spayed just to sacrifice it to satan. Besides, I don't think they could work that out logistics-wise and have the cat ready for Halloween night festivities. I'm also sure that their dark lord would rather them sacrifice a un-altered female anyway. He probably doesn’t want 99% percent of a kitty and if they’re going all out with the kitten-killing, I’m sure they’re willing to go that extra mile to find an unaltered version. Hell, I found this one in a parking lot and I wasn’t even looking. If someone wants to give this kitten a good home, I’m not going to tell them no because of a stupid urban legend. Thank you.

So – rude enough? I’m sure that it’s sick that I get amused by being rude to idiots – but I really really do.

Daylight savings, people -- roll it on back.

Just a friendly reminder, it's an hour earlier than you think it is. WOO! Free hour! I feel sorry for whoever worked the nightshift last night.

It just seems kinda cruel.

I bought Jack a laser pointer. It was only $2.99 and I just couldn't resist. Surprisingly, Tabbatha is all over it. It's like I can make them do my bidding -- they both run side by side wherever I direct. To the left -- oh look it's on the wall -- ohhh to high to reach. It's fun. But I can't seem to really get into it -- it just seems so mean. They never get to catch it. They never find it or see what it is -- it just disappears on them. Sad.

But shining it on Jacks paws and making him jump back is slightly amusing. Cruel -- but amusing.

Icky day soup

Well, I let a few too many people read this blog to post about what I really want to post about (what happened to a little thing called tact? Why don't people have this anymore?) but suffice to say it was enough for even someone ELSE to bend over and ask me if I was okay. I'm OK -- I'm on too much Paxil to not be OK.

Oh wait, speaking of Paxil -- about 2 weeks ago, the nurse upped my dose. Since then I think I've been sleeping. Yep - pretty much. And not like sleeping late -- but like randomly falling asleep and wondering why it's dark all the sudden -- wait what time is it? And not even having dreams or feeling rested -- it's just a passing out-black out kind of sleep. Wednesday I was half an hour late to dance lessons. Why? Well -- apparently I was asleep. I had come home from class - put laundry in the washer -- and I was heating up some leftovers for lunch -- then Michael's calling me to see why I'm not there. Wait-- what? Why's it dark -- what time is it? Are you serious? No shit -- give me 5 minutes. Same thing happened Thursday. Was supposed to be at Erin's at 7 for Grey's Anatomy and I'm awakened to a phone call at 7:30 wondering where I am -- I thought it was like noon -- what the fuck?

So yeah -- I'm not even waiting on them to tell me to go down on the dose. I'm feeling great -- WONDERFUL mood, no anxiety -- but damn, what's the point if I'm in a drugged up sleep all the time?

OK, now that I've had that little side rant and I can't post about what I'd like to post about -- I shall instead tell you about the wonderful soup I just made.

I made vegetable soup. It's a rainy really icky day and it just seemed like a soup kinda day. And what I LOVE about cooking, is that you get to make it your way and leave out all the ickies. So I made it without tomatoes - no onions -- no green-beans -- no okra -- no odd beans. What's left you ask? Well, I browned the beef -- added in almost 2 lbs of diced golden potatoes (LOVE potatoes), onion soup mix and tomatoe sauce. Boiled that for a while. Added in some dales sauce and seasonings, yellow corn, white corn, green peas and carrots -- simmered for a good long while... and poof. AWESOME soup. The taste is right on perfect -- and there's not much broth -- I don't like the broth much -- just loads of meat and potatoes with veggies. Nothing to pick out or avoid -- just an entire pot of perfect spoonfuls. Mmmm. I'm such a wonderful cook.

Cats cats cats -- blogging about my cats -- cause I have a life.

I just uploaded a picture to show how well Tabbatha (working with the temporary name of Foosle) is doing. She looks like a completely different cat. Her coat is shiny and smooth -- not so raggedy. She's gained TWO pounds in less than a week. She's eating me out of house and home -- seriously. I can't keep their bowls filled. And she sleeps as close to me as possible as much as possible. Her and Jack are coming along... pretty much.

I'd post the picture, but I've posted about this damn cat that isn't even mine so much that I feel like I'm crazy. You can see it on my flicker page (clicky) if you really want to.

It makes me feel good to be taking care of her. I know that to the majority or people, a cat means nothing. Her life means nothing more than a cockroach (to some -- a lot, actually, when you look at the world population). But I just feel so good about helping her out. Taking her from crying in the rain to curling up on my sofa. And knowing that wether I keep her or not, she's going to have a long happy lazy life that she certainly wouldn't have had before and certainly didn't have just a week ago. And to see the difference in the way she looks after just a week is amazing. She was ratty, matted skin & bones when I pulled her out of the rain. Now she looks healthy -- and gorgeous.

And I know she probably just curls up with me for company and since I'm the one feeding her and taking care of her and keeping Jack from eating her -- but it almost feels like a thank you... sappy as that may sound. So yeah, if angels ever show up in the form of a cat to see how we'd treat it -- I'm TOTALLY scoring brownie points.

Now, sorry about yet another cat post. And for the record -- to balance out the stray cat love -- here's a picture of my biggun' Jack (clicky) cause he's still my baby.

Ooooooh. Ahhhhhhh.

I was just about to head to bed when I realized that - wait - I had to see what infomercial was about to come on. It's the MultiMaster -- holy shit -- little powertools! It's like a wet dream or something.

It's a saw that doesn't rotate -- and a sander that doesn't vibrate! So wait -- how does it work? Well, I can't go to bed before I see how it works -- I mean if it doesn't vibrate or rotate -- how does it work? And just so you know, it oscillates. And it would fit in my kitchen drawer.

"One tool, a few attachments: thousands of possibilities."

And as with every infomercial, I actually began to think I could totally use that. Look -- he just installed a heating vent over crown molding and didn't even have to remove it -- professional results made easy. Well, I have to install heating vents over crown molding all the time, you know.

And then I went. Wait. Wait. ... I should post about this. So I am.

Star Sapphire

I ordered a ring on eBay -- it got here last night. A genuine natural Star Sapphire. A very nice present to myself. It's huge -- so big, in fact, that it looks like it couldn't possibly be real -- but it is. I wore it today and caught a glimpse of it in the sunlight when I was driving. It was breathtaking.

I've seen star sapphires in pictures -- and I've been shopping for them at jewelry stores before, but I've never seen one in person out in the sun light. It's amazing -- captivating -- magical. Fascinating.

Without a nice direct light, it looks like a simple stone. An opaque sapphire -- this one happens to be midnight blue. It's cut as a simple smooth oval cabochon, looks like nothing brilliant. I mean it looks like a cute ring -- but nothing hugely special or prized. When a nice beam of light hits it though, the crystallization within it shows -- a perfect 6-pointed star. It moves with the light -- the spines are as pure white and delicate as a spider web -- and absolutely brilliant. It's really amazing to know that it's natural -- that nature made this -- that God designed this. You can look at pictures, and you can understand the science behind it -- they can be bought all over and aren't hugely uncommon -- they're even lab-grown now. But really, seeing one in person is something else. Wow. In the light there's a bright white star inside -- you'd never know it wasn't there a few minutes ago -- and the way it moves with the light is almost magical.

No wonder my mom remembers this ring from her childhood so well. I'm captivated by it and I've only had it for a day. Hopefully no one will steal mine -- at least we know it won't be stolen by a maid any time soon ;)

Movie Night

Tonight was movie night. You remember movie night -- I get a new NetFlix and fix a good supper so I can sit down and watch a movie with Jack. This has actually become one of my favorite things to look forward to. I plan it a head of time, shop for the dinner, and just relax and get into a good movie.

Funny how fast things change actually. This was the only thing I ever really had to look forward to during the week. It was my only treat. This week, it fell on a Tuesday. Monday I hosted 11 people for game night -- tomorrow is dancing lessons and Thursday is Grey's Anatomy night with Erin and Kelly.

But tonight was movie night with Jack. Tabbatha purred sleepily in my lap for the entire movie and kept my hands warm. I watch Phenomenon with John Travolta. Not a new movie -- but a damn good one. It just ended and my cheeks are tear stained. I blame it on combination of a great movie and PMS. LOL. I recommend it 5 stars -- if you've got Netflix, go put it in your queue immediately. It's a very moving film with great acting by all.

Showing off the new glasses

I haven't posted a picture to show off my new glasses yet! So here we go :) And to compare, you can see my old glasses (and hair pre-mullet) here (clicky).

I love them -- absolutely love them. I miss the old hair though. It looked fine before -- but I just had to get a fucking haircut.

Tabatha's got something to say.

She says happy Halloween
Originally uploaded by Blue Beetle.
I'm not sure what it is - but she's clearly got something on her mind.

Erin says I'm just going to keep not taking her to the shelter and before I know it, I'll have been keeping her for 10 years. We'll see -- I'm really hoping that I'll find her a home. Hey, everyone's coming over for game night -- I'll be sure to spray her with perfume and try ot pawn her off ;)

Jack's going to be a ghost for halloween

Scary isn't he?

(Proof that Karen needs a better camera. My shutter speed is so slow & Jack is so fast that this photo started when he was laying down and finished after he had gone away. It didn't even blur -- it just ghosted him. Freaky - no?)

Shopping for 11 people is surprisingly expensive.

Night before game night
Originally uploaded by Blue Beetle.
Tomorrow I am hosting game night. Monday night football? No. Trivial Pursuit? Nope. RPGs? Yes.

I've never seen RPGs played or had any desire to see it -- but I've come across a group of people who are into them and I'd like to see it... at least once. Plus I get to meet new people and host them all at my house! And I get to cook! I went with Mexican... of course.

Now, if I could just sit down and get my homework done, I'd be all set. I need to clean up the apartment, but I've got to get my homework done first -- ugh!

Update on the Kitten

For those who want an update on Ms Kitty-of-the-Bathroom, here we go. I shall copy and paste it directly from an email I wrote earlier:

The cat -- still not sure on the name -- just isn't meshing well. I know it takes time -- but I'm not sure I'm willing to put that time in. It bothers me that there's litter on the floor in my bathroom now. Just seems like a lot of mess for another cat. And poor Jack is doing great -- he wants to play with her SO bad. I know because he plays with my moms cat and dog and he's trying to get her to play like he plays with them. It's driving him crazy that she just growls at him. He runs up to her and then darts away for her to chase LOL -- but she won't chase. All she does is sit there and growl at him. She doesn't play -- she won't play with him -- she won't play by herself -- and she won't play with me. She just wants to be petted, eat, or sit there. That's it.

Last night she was in the bathroom meowing -- I felt SOOOO bad for her that I couldn't sleep. She's been out running around the apartment -- actually just sitting here or there in the apartment pretty much since I got off at 8 -- minus an hour or so where I put her in the bathroom because she was getting hissy and poor jack just wants to play and I don't want her to just attack him out of the blue. Not sure what to do -- I wish I wouldn't have taken her in! Now I gotta worry about her.

I’d paste the rest of the email, but it really just involved hockey, Sunday plans, TV shows, and tampons.

On the name front – I’m still debating. Really, I’m thinking I’m just not going to keep her – The money to get her “fixed up” at the vet would be too much. And I’m pretty anal about wanting a clean apartment where I just happen to have a cat – I don’t want to be one of those people with the stinky messy apartment because of their pet(s). I’ve been staunch about that since I got jack. I keep his toys gathered up in his cat condo where he can get them out if he wants them – I keep his litterbox very clean and tucked away, and he has his mat in the kitchen for his water and food which I pick-up every night so there isn’t food all over my kitchen. Now I’ve got a cat in my bathroom with a towel wadded up on the floor and there’s food and splashed water and litter on the bathroom floor. That’s gross. I want people to feel welcome and enjoy being at my apartment – I don’t want them to ever think about the fact that I have a cat before they come over. There’s those people where you’d go to their house – but you always roll your eyes because there’s dog hair on the sofa – it smells like a dog lives there – and the dogs going to jump all over you and bring you slobbery toys. I REFUSE to become one of those people. Having a cat is just something I happen to have – it doesn’t define my life or my household. I’m afraid that adding another cat will tilt that a bit. It’ll bring more mess and more poop and more stink. And finding someone to watch my Jack at the drop of a hat is easy – everyone LOVES Jack. But if I had 2 cats – well it’s hard to ask someone to take care of TWO cats for you. And staying on top of one cat has proved totally doable – me and Jack work well together. I’m afraid I might not be able to stay on top of two cats.

I’m just thinking aloud and rambling. Back to the name thing. A few ideas and suggestions I’ve been given (in no particular order):

-Azrael (dude, it’s the cat from the smurfs -- named after the angel of death. Not like scary dark “death” but an archangel. AWESOME name. I could call her Az)
-Pixel (non-black cat related though)
-Hexadecimal (called Hex for short. It oozes with Geek-Awesomness)
-Jill (Jack & Jill – get it?)
-Cleo (like the black crazy psychic on TV LOL)
-Jinx (First, awesome name for a black cat – second – Mr Jinx from Meet the Parents. “Jinxy cat, Jinxy cat – I love you! HAHAHA)
-Zoot (I don't know where this came from -- it just fell out of my head -- someone help me out with who was named zoot. Update: found it! "A very naughty character who runs Castle Anthrax in Monty Python's Holy Grail")

Shadow and Midnight are just too over used. I’m leaning toward Hex (hexadecimal), Az (Azrael), Jinx, or Zoot

Cats & Cards

First, I shall address the topic on everyone’s mind: Yes, Tabatha is still in my bathroom. I don’t have to make a solid decision about what to do with her until Monday anyway as that’s the soonest I could take her to a shelter.

I’ve let her out into the apartment a few times to wonder around and see Jack. Last night Jack just stalked her – a constant 5 feet distance – he kept his distance from her – but he didn’t let her out of his sight. Today they’re at more of a 2 feet distance – if he feels the need to watch her. He has to keep tabs on her – but he’s perfectly comfortable to come play with me while she huddles under the bed. I let her roam around for a good while – until someone hisses and then she goes back in the bathroom.

Jack’s such a doll! He doesn’t puff up his tail or hiss at her – or even growl back. She constantly growls at him – but he just keeps his distance – or sits down when she hisses. He chases her and stays on her – but he doesn’t make any aggressive moves. He just wants to sniff her.

And when he is stalking Tabatha, I am not allowed to pick him up or to try to pet him – it might disrupt his concentration. I’ve been super careful to not let him see me petting her – and to give him loads of play time (he likes that better than affection or food) and love and reassurance – he’s barely phased by the whole thing.

The eating situation is odd. I was going to give them each some wet food to reward them for being so good – So I was going to set Jacks plate down and then grab Tabatha and give her her plate in the bathroom and leave her in there until Jack finished his meal – as she’s shown herself to run up and start eating his food and scare him away. Well, The second I ripped the bag, she was on top of me – so I sat Jacks plate down and grabbed her – but Jack didn’t want to eat his food. This is a first. Ever. He let it sit there for over an hour and wouldn’t touch it. Jack LOVES his special food. I don’t get it. Tabbatha didn’t have a chance to eat any of his (this time, at least) – but he wouldn’t touch it even though I had already put her up for the night. Any suggestions?

Ok, enough cat talk. I just wrote and addressed and sealed all my Halloween cards. That’s a lot of cards. I’ve been doing them at work and someone asked me if they were Thanksgiving cards. Nope – Halloween. But now that means I probably should do Thanksgiving cards too – especially since I’m going to be working and not able to get home to spend it with the family – which they will of course take as my intense hate and abandonment of the family. I had planned to just skip celebrating Thanksgiving all together this year. I’d rather not celebrate it then to spend it with no one but the cat and a long work shift. Plus that means I can put up the Christmas tree sooner.

Obviously, if I’m doing Halloween cards – there will be Christmas cards. Tonight me and mom were looking at a brochure that mentioned pictures with Santa and I joked that I should go have my picture made with Santa and I could put it on my Christmas cards – Then she said it should be me and Jack and Santa – and we laughed about it for a good while – Happy holidays – from Karen and her cat! So I think I’m going to go all out and actually do it. LOL I’m gonna have my picture made with Santa and Jack and have it plastered on the most gaudy set of Christmas cards I can find. It’s going to be so awesome.

OH OH -- Oh my god -- I'm going to get a green duck and have the picture made with me and Jack and Santa -- and Santa will be handing me the green duck. HAHAHAHAHA. My brother's going to laugh so hard he'll piss himself. These are going to be the best Christmas cards EVER.

(For everyone who doesn't get the green duck comment -- which would be everyone who reads, as it's a inside joke -- I guess I could offer a little explanation. The green duck joke has followed me through every Christmas that I can remember. When we were little, my parents videotaped every Christmas religiously. One year, they even videotaped us going to see Santa. Well, I was tiny and scared shitless – I was about to see santa clause – THE SANTA CLAUS – and I was supposed to sit on his knee and tell him what I wanted for Christmas. Obviously, I don’t remember this first hand – but I’ve seen the video tape more times than I’d like. They had gone over this with me a million times – I was going to sit on his knee and tell him what I wanted for Christmas. Ok. So someone’s video taping us standing in line – and I’m all over my surrogate father, Tim (my brother) – who, while being the most loving guy he possibly could, is still a guy who loves to laugh – if anything can be said about me & Tim it’s that we love our jokes. Apparently this relationship aspect developed early on. So I’m scared shitless and asking Tim what I’m supposed to say – What do I want? What do I tell Santa that I want? HELP ME, BROTHER. And Tim says… “Tell Santa you want a green duck.” This meant nothing – just something he thought would be funny so he made sure to tell me at least 10 times – “Hey Karen, ask Santa for a green duck – ok? A green duck.” So, they stuck me on Santa’s knee and he asked me what I wanted. And after picking my nose for what seems like an eternity – with Santa trying his hardest to get me to stop (hey, I was REALLY little, ok?) – I said what my brother told me to. I wanted a green duck. Santa didn’t understand – “A green duck?” “uhuh” *Santa pulls KArens finger from her nose and attempts to distract by filler her tiny hands with candy canes* “A green duck… what else would you like for Christmas?” “A green duck.” “A green duck?” “uhuh, a green duck.” *back to nose picking*

I’m sure my brother was laughing his ass off in the background even then. As he has laughed his ass off every Christmas since. It never fails that someone will say something about a green duck to me. To which my reply usually sharply refers to the infamous Teddy Rupskin incident.)

I’m gonna have my picture professionally made with Santa handing me and Jack a green duck. And the caption will be something like: “Santa finally brought the green duck” And my entire family will not stop laughing for about 2 weeks and I will go down as the funniest sibling. Oh it’s going to be so awesome.

It's all downhill from here.

Umm. So. You remember when I posted about Jack running away for half an hour and I had to run around trying to find him and I said that another cat started meowing at me an following me around? Well tonight I got home -- and it's been pouring rain all day and I hear a cat meowing. There's some feral cats around here but they don't usually meow -- so I remembered the little black kitten and figured it might be him.

Well, I felt bad -- like maybe he was hurt and that's why he was meowing -- and it's pouring rain and it has been all day. So I put up my groceries and went outside to find the poor thing. He came running to me and practically jumped in my arms where he started purring happily and rubbing his little head on me. Awwwwwwww. Poor thing! So I knocked on a few doors to ask if he was their's -- hes obviously a little social thing -- but they had never even seen him -- much less knew whos he was.

And um. Well...

He's... He's kinda in my bathroom with food and water and a bed and a little litter box.


Update: Per request, here's a picture (excuse the fact that she's sitting on a toilet -- but she's temporarily taken up residence in the bathroom). I now present to you -- the ultimate Halloween decoration:

The cat that's temporarily living in my bathroom.

It's a little girl that hasn't been spayed. She weighs a little over 5 lbs, is super social, and already litter-box trained. She's got long black hair and a small patch of white on her little belly (which she loves to have rubbed, surprisingly) and killer bright green eyes. I've given her a quick flea/tick killer treatment, wiped her down and brushed her hair (she loved it). The name we're working with is Tabatha.

No seriously, how can anyone NOT love me?

Here's a comment I just left someone who posted about still trying to talk all the time even though she's losing her voice:

"I lost my voice last year for a few months. I had a stress related acid disorder which ate my voice box up. I noticed my voice going -- and it just kept going until no more sound came out -- then I went to a ear/nose/throat guy who asked me if I had ever considered giving my voice a rest.

I had to pause. It honestly had not even occured to me to do that. My voice box had literally been eaten away -- and I was still trying to wisper to people. Shut up? Are you serious?

And then my psychiatrist used that as an excuse to end our appointments early because "I needed to rest my voice" Yeah -- but you still get paid for the full hour, right? Uhuh.

Anyway -- rest your voice. Apparently that's important. I got a long rant from the throat specialist that had a camera up my nose and down my throat about how our voices getting hourse is supposed to be a sign that they need rest. When we pull a muscle -- we don't keep using it relentlessly. It should be the same with our voices.

Though me -- I still tried to talk through it all. I wrote on a piece of paper that I had lost my voice... due to too much deepthroating... ;)"

Let's see -- self deprecating humor -- funny story -- jokes about therapy and expensive psychiatrists -- relevant ranting -- all wrapped up with a sexually lewd joke. Nice work on my part. I'm surprised people don't flock to me just to hear shit like this. Or maybe this is why I make some people uncomfortable... *shrug*


~ Tonight I am up late putting down way too much money bidding on eBay. But I'm bidding on a Christmas present for my mom -- but I really want it too so we'll see who ends up with it if I win. Mustn't. Bid. More. Money. Mom's told me stories since I can remember my mom talking to me of the jewelry she had when she was young. We're poor -- but mom didn't grow up poor. Even as a young child she had expensive trinkets. She also had people who worked around the house for her parents -- maids and such. One of them was a young girl who stole some of my moms most precious pieces. She's told me about the gorgeous blue star sapphire that was stolen for years -- I swear, she's still really bitter about it. And blue star sapphires are expensive little things -- but I've always dreamt of giving her one... Of course I've also always wanted to own one for myself. I'm currently high bidder on two...

~ Tonight I learned to Tango. I tango quite well. I like the tango -- it's a sexy little dance... That's all I shall say on the topic.

~ Tonight I got very sick from drinking fruit juice. I didn't even think of it -- or realize that that's what was making me so sick. I was getting taco bell with some friends after dance lessons -- and I was REALLY thirsty. Well, taco bell doesn't have tea -- and I can't drink carbonated drinks -- so I was left with lemonade or fruit punch. I've not had fruit punch in forever! So I filled up my huge cup... and began drinking... a lot. And even as I was drinking it, I was feeling sick -- but I just didn't connect it. All that sugar made me so sick I couldn't eat my tacos and had to go home early. It wasn't even worth it -- I'd have much rather has sugar free tea.

~ Tonight I paid 30 dollars for a prescription for Jack. Yep. It hurt. Three pills. 30 dollars. The little shit better start feeling better REAL QUICK.

~ Tonight I might be murdered by a group of thugs. And I want to go on record as to why. So last night I was sitting in my living room surfing the net -- much like I am now -- much like I so every night. Jack was sitting in the window much like he is now -- much like he does every night. And this loud group of trash-talking idiots walk past -- naturally they're too obnoxious to keep their voices down at 2AM so I'm sure everyone in the complex knew they were trotting by. Then they see my Jack and decide to scare him by screaming and banging on my window at 2AM. Oh, yes -- I'm 100% serious. So I throw open the door and tell them how rude they are being and that they better damn well stop. Their reply? "Yo -- we fro' out of town yo!" Oh, yes -- I'm 100% serious. Like being out of town gives you the right to scream and attack people's windows at 2 in the fucking morning? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHERE YOU'RE FROM BUT YOU'RE GOING TO STOP BANGING ON MY GOD DAMN WINDOW YOU FUCKING $@%^@. So -- now you know. If they find me murdered I want it to be on record that I was right and that they are fucking obnoxious morons that are nothing but a drain to society -- oh wait -- I guess they're not a complete drain on the economy considering they buy those big baggy pants and shoes and hats with their sales tags and prices still proudly displayed. They're obviously advertising the only way they possibly contribute to society. Jesus %&#^*^$% #$*(% I can't believe people actually do shit like that. I am so enraged at the ..... audacity of such ..... trash. $@#%@# $#%#$ *&^#$ BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

He amuses me.

I just tortured Jack by touching up his nail caps (he had lost a few). Then I ignored him by accenting one of my (now 3) carved pumpkins with marshmallow eyes. So he came out from behind the blinds to sniff out the pumpkin and bite his marshmallow nose. Then he made a show of sulking slowly across the floor -- stepped daintily onto the futon and through the perfectly cat sized hole he's made in the blinds to sulk some more.

My lord he's cute. I'm glad I got him.

When all else fails, make a casserole.

This weekend I was separated from my purse for a little while -- which meant no money -- and in this case, meant no paxil and no groceries. I'm pleased to say that I haven't gone plum-crazy yet from lack of psych meds -- yay me!. I am however super sleepy and having night sweats even though I'm freezing cold. But you know, i'll survive and get my happy pills tomorrow.

And since I moved to the apartment with the KITCHEN and my own fridge and tons of cabinet-y goodness, I've been getting away from the per-meal shopping and into the coupon and sale well-stocked pantry shopping (seriously, I've got 4 jars of expensive pasta sauce because it was BOGO -- same with A1 sauce and peanut butter). This is totally paying off.

First, it's nice being able to search my cabinets for ingredients and actually find them. Second, I've made two casseroles this week which weren't even planned. This weekend, I searched my cabinets and made a great chicken casserole -- it was mainly chicken, rice, chicken soup, and broccoli. It was yummy. Then tonight, I decided to make something nice and protein-y -- So I decided to go with a variant of a great breakfast casserole my mom makes (remember, folks -- Karen is southern -- we LOVE some casseroles). In mom's version, you spread a lb of ground sausage (raw) in a (what else:) casserole dish. This gets topped with a layer of frozen hashbrowns and then egg beaters mixed with milk are poured over the top & the whole thing is sprinkled with cheese. Bake that for an hour on something like 350. My version was more like my favorite IHOP omelet: the corned-beef-hash one. I spread a can of corned beef in the bottom of the pan -- topped that with half-cooked hashbrowns (because this won't take near as long to cook as the sausage version and I didn't want to have a layer of still frozen potatoes in the middle) -- poured on the eggbeaters and milk and sprinkled with considerably less fat-free cheese than the original. This took about 30 minutes on 350 -- and let me say -- YUM. I LOVE corned beef hash and this is just so yummy. I like this way better than the original -- kudos to me.

Am I not becoming the perfect little homemaker? I am. AND I can program computers and dance -- and I have other less publicized talents. And I paint. And I'm cute. My god, I am so freakin awesome -- someone explain all the male rejection to me.

Oh, and on an unrelated note -- Comcast decided to rearrange their TV channels. This sucks for me and my stolen cable. Why? Because I can only steal the first 30ish channels. I lost my TNT and CNN. I'll miss my illegal TNT. I have however gained the game show network and I think I'm hooked.

I <3 Halloween

Here's my latest carving -- a little green gourd next to a hollowed-out mini-pumpkin. I'd have carved a face on the mini-pumpkin but it was too short :( The gourd is just ADORABLE though. And I coated the inside with cinnamon so it makes the whole apartment smell like pumpkin pie baking in the oven. That's a tip for you -- sprinkle the inside of your pumpkin lids with cinnamon or wedge pieces of cinnamon sticks in it -- it smells delicious.

Halloween, Halloween -- I love Halloweeeeeeeeeen. The cute Halloween that is -- not the way-to-graphic bloody corpse Halloween -- the cute Hallmark Halloween. I feel the need to make that distinction because I was in a Halloween specialty store and I think it's gonna give me nightmares. They had a anamorphic dead body that dragged itself across the floor. There is also a "fountain" which is the upper half of a mostly decomposed corpse holding itself up on its hands and dripping red blood -- that's where the fountain part comes in. That's just too much for me. Funny Halloween -- cute dismissible Halloween -- that's what I like -- not realistic bloody corpse Halloween.

Babies are so cute sometimes.

This picture just delighted me too much not to share. Of course he's my nephew and not yours, so the effect might not carry over. My sister sent me this from her camera phone. I'm sure it's just one of those random baby faces -- as he's only 3-weeks-old -- but can't you just see him saying "Oooooooooooooooh what's that?"

What a cutie. I wanna hold him!

It's a Good Thing

I had an incredible week. Sure there were bad parts to it: namely 2 tests – One of which I thought I aced and then found out I actually failed… BUT – It was still a great week. Life has been looking up a lot for me lately and for that I am grateful.

Wednesday has officially become dance lesson night with a group of new friends. Thursday night has tentatively become girl’s night (with girls from aforementioned group) – because that’s when Grey’s Anatomy comes on. I get along great with my neighbor and sometimes we have dinner together or just watch our favorite shows. Dad was freakishly upbeat the other day. New baby in the family – it’s my favorite month – and an old friend has returned to my life.

And you could totally extend that to this year – 2006. The year I got my BEETLE. The year I got my Jack. And the year I moved into my very own place.

Oh, and did I mention that I had a date Friday? Yep – with a guy I met at dance lessons. It was great too – I had a good time – excellent food and we saw “Man of the Year” which I thought was a great movie. Of course I hesitate to mention it because I’m not sure that there will be a second showing. I got the busy schedule speech at the end of the evening. But oh well – I still had a great time either way.

Oh and sometime in the near future, I’m having a shitload of geeks over to play RPGs in my living room. I know I know – but I’m not going to participate myself – I’m just going to host and cook them all dinner. It’s like hosting a party! The new group of friends from dance lessons are all into RPGs – which is apparently a super social thing – who knew? So I offered to host them one night – It’ll be like a party with lots of amusement for the peanut gallery – which will be us girls sitting and watching… and not making fun… maybe… well, we’ll try hard. And I get to have a big social gathering at my place – and I get to cook!

And on top of it all – I’m gaining a nifty skill set – I know how to dance now. For the rest of my life now, I’ll be able to join in the dance floor. And when I get better – I’m totally going to start going to dances.

*claps for herself*

Oh, and my subscription to Martha Stewart Living ought to be popping up in my mailbox soon too -- which I'm happy about.

Lovely lunch

My dad came up today to have lunch with me. Not "stopped in while he was up here" -- but actually came up here just to have lunch with me and then went right back home. That in and of its self is pretty nice. On top of that, though, it was honestly the best afternoon I've ever had with him. He came by here and just loved my apartment -- he kept complimenting me on how nice I have made it and how great everything looks. And we had a great lunch where we chatted and he didn't say anything negative about anyone -- which is usually all you get. It was awesome. And he liked my pumpkin stand so much that he had me take him to the store where I bought it so he could get one too. And then I had him follow me to UAH where the gas is way cheaper so he could fill up on his way out.

This week is just getting better and better!

"I do that for the children -- all the colors all over the place -- festive"

Autumn Table
Originally uploaded by Blue Beetle.
Two actual things people said to me today:

As I was hammering a nail into the brick outside of my apartment to hang some Halloween decorations, I see my neighbors head pop out of her door: "I KNEW that was gonna be you." "But of course! Come look at Jack's nails!"

As I was walking through Cracker Barrel with a huge box: "You're buying more decorations?" "Yep."

I'm FESTIVE, ok? You know you're jealous ;) I carved a pumpkin tonight too!

My therapist would be so proud

Tonight I went to my third dance lesson, and I have to say -- I'm getting good. Still enjoying them -- and it's nice that we're building on the dances so we can actually spice it up and not look like idiots who only know how to do one thing. We added a different kinda turn/spin to the basic swing dancing and we learned a lot more about the waltz. I'll be going out dancing before you know it!

I'm about to carve a pumpkin and bake a cake -- why, you ask? Because I'm having company tomorrow -- girls night! We're gonna watch Grey's Anatomy -- cause that's my show. And guess what?

I've got Friday night plans too.

Shh -- don't jinx it or put pressure on me.

A picture of my cat.

Had to post a picture. I'm done.

But make sure you note the Halloween goodness on his claws compliments of -- you can see them better if you look at a larger version of the picture (click it). Remember folks -- cutting off your supposedly loved pet's fingers just to spare your precious sofa is pretty damn cruel. Cap the nails instead -- everyone wins.

I used to have a stress-ball shaped like a giraffe but his head came off and I had to throw it away.

I cannot sleep because I'm getting very anxious. And of course the medical professional question to follow that is -- describe anxious. Well -- I feel very overwhelmed. Very emotional. Very worried. Very doomed. I feel like I've got 20 million problems beating down on me at once and all I want to do is curl up under the covers and cry about it because it's all going to hell anyway. Of course it's not all going to hell and there's no particular reason for me feel like this. Which means it's another thing to stress out about and throw on top of the pile of things that are wrong.

Ugh. I miss my mom. When I get like this I get to where I just want someone to tell me it's ok -- to just do my best -- it's not the end of the world -- we'll deal with it. Of course I don't have someone to tell me this -- and I certainly can't call my mom to make me feel better at 3am. She's asleep. Besides -- I'm supposed to be an adult.

So I end up staying up all night stressing out about the millions of things I can think to stress out about -- until I finally accidently fall asleep -- usually after sunrise -- and then I want to sleep all day because I didn't sleep that night. I do this a lot -- I know how it works. But I can't do that because I've got a test tomorrow. And a test on Friday. And then 2 programs due. And I really need to go to the store -- not just because I'm out of all manner of food and drink -- but I've also run out of clorox wipes AND paper towels which means there's nothing to wipe off the stove with and dammit, that bothers me. And I need to go to the bank so I can pay my bills. And if I don't do well this semester then I won't get my loans which means I won't be able to pay my bills -- it all ties in together into one big thing to worry about. A stress ball -- and not the cute kind.

I just wanted to post about it because I can't sleep and posting seemed almost constructive. It's not constructive, I know that -- but still -- makes me feel better. Besides -- there's nothing else I can do at 3am and certainly no one else to talk to.

A Murder of Crows

Thursday, I met a friend for lunch over by the Summit. And who am I to be right there at the Summit (upscale outdoor mall) and not shop a bit? And lord help, on the way to the Gap I had to pass a Pottery Barn -- you just know I had to go in there. And when I saw these cute little crows for only 6 bucks each -- halloween decorations -- I snatched up a pair.

Ok ok, so everyone's rolling their eyes at the thought of all the ways this little purchase will make Jack (the cat) happy. I know. But I couldn't resist! They look so real and awesomely halloween-y. I decided to wire them to my tealight candle screen. They looked like they had flown in and perched on it for a short while. And the location was prime -- I get to look at the all the time, and Jack never jumps up there. Awesome.

And for the first couple of days -- it was perfect. They looked even better than the pictures in Pottery Barn's magazine -- because I'm awesome like that. And they made me happy. But then one night he got up there and knocked them down. Well, I hadn't had a chance to take a picture of how cute they looked yet, so I tucked them away in a drawer where Jack couldn't get them.

On Monday morning, my mom called to wake me up and make sure I was up for class (yes, she does that for me) -- so I moseyed on into the kitchen to get something to drink and I realized that my apartment was covered in black feathers. They were everywhere. But I couldn't find the crows. The drawer where I had placed them was open -- but no crows. It was like a massacre had occurred --- the evidence was everywhere -- but the bodies are missing.

The little shit opened the drawer and ate my pottery barn crows!

So for punishment for this and for running away from me the other night, I have taken great amusement by decorating him for halloween. He now sports a full set or bright orange nails. And it makes me happy. Not as happy as the crows -- but I have to accept that they are lost and move on.

Expanding Family

My trip to see my family this past weekend went well. My newest nephew is doing great @ two weeks old. It's so weird that my brother has a big family now. Before it was my brother and his wife -- then they had a child -- but now he's got two children. It's odd. It somehow seems like more of a family unit now -- my brothers family unit. My brother has two children now and a huge house in a posh upscale neighborhood. It's hard to wrap my mind around.

He's done so well for himself -- I'm very happy for him. I know he's stressed out about money and now having a new child -- but I pray he also gets a break to enjoy it all. This weekend I went with him to one of my nephew's soccer practices (since I haven't been able to attend any of his games). It's so different to see him with all the children. They all love him to death and beg him to lift them up and swing them around. He's Cole's dad now. It's like a whole new person in a way -- I don't mean that to say this isn't who he was before -- just getting to see new sides of someone I've known all my life.

The pictures accompanying this entry were taken the day Cade was born -- only hours after the fact. Yes, I admit this post is just so I can't post the pictures. At least I narrowed it down from 60 to 3 -- give me a break -- he's precious. Isn't he huge? He looked/looks great -- he's still doing well 2 weeks later. His cheeks are even more puffy and delicious now. And he has that precious baby smell and feather soft hair.

It makes me wonder what it will be like when I have a baby. Heidi is so calm about it -- this is, after all, her second time around. I think I'd be scared out of my mind! And I know I'm the youngest in my family, but I hope I'm next to walk down the aisle and get started on making my own family. In the mean time, I get to play favorite aunt to the nephews ;)

BTW, the pictures in this entry link to their flickr pages where you can see them better. The top picture is Heidi & Cade -- doesn't she have a great glow about her? Then there's my mom shaking her new grandson's hand. The picture on the bottom is me getting to hold him for the first time. Don't I look so skinny? I gotta dig up a picture of the first time I held Cole because the difference is amazing.

Jack runs away. Karen panics.

So I've been gone for 2 days and left a key with my neighbor so she could come over and play with Jack and feed him for me. I just got in tonight at about 1AM. As he always does, he took the chance to make a run for it and I didn't rush to get him -- he runs outside every. single. time the door is opened. He only goes a few feet though and then usually turns around and starts meowing for attention. Not this time. This time, after I set my things down and went to get him -- he ran from me. So I figured I'd give him a few minutes -- like I said, he never goes far. But after I put the food in the fridge -- he was no where to be found. No where. So I start calling him -- he always meows when I call him. Nothing. So I get irritated and keep calling. Eventually, one of my calls is returned with one of his wails -- one of his desperate wails -- and all I could think was oh, no hes fallen off a wall and hes hurt and I can't find him! A few more wails (he was lost and couldn't find me -- hence the wails) and then nothing. So I'm running around the apartment complex at 2am yelling JACK JACK JACK JACK JACK.

And not only do I not get jack -- but this other cat -- a cute little black cat comes up to me whining for attention. And so now hes following me around meowing while I'm trying to find my Mr Jack thinking that OH MY GOD - I LOST JACK. And this is what I get for leaving him for 2 days -- hes so mad at me that he ran away -- and what if someone takes him and doesn't give him back -- WHAT IF THEY TAKE MY CAT? HE'S MY CAT!


Eventually I hear a neighbor whos come outside calling and whistling to get my attention -- "you looking for a cat?" YES. And he hands me Jack. What the fuck -- why do you have my cat? Did you just have my cat in your apartment? HE'S MY CAT.

Dammit -- I was really starting to freak out there. Stupid cat. I'm so not going to feel bad when I stick those orange nail caps on him for my own amusement.

Lunch & dancing

Tomorrow, I'm having lunch with someone I haven't seen in over two years. On the one hand -- no biggie. On the other hand though, I've lost over a hundred pounds since then. Will it be a drastic difference to them? Or will they be non-impressed because I'm still overweight? What should I wear? I want to get that "holy shit" reaction. I hope this is a very positive experience that will lift my spirits.

On another note, I went to my second dance lesson tonight. Last week we learned the waltz and the rumba -- this week we added turns to those and also learned a 3-step rock-step of some sort relevant to swing dancing. I liked the one we learned tonight -- it was fun. And I don't suck at dancing nearly as much as I thought I would. I want to keep going to the private lessons (though obviously, I have to be invited) -- maybe even go to some of the beginner lessons at the dancing school on my own. I asked if you have to have a partner to go and she said no -- so I could go and get pretty decent at some dance. I'm liking this so far -- I would LOVE to go dancing with someone... when I get a bit better -- which I will.

TNT's reruns of the X-Files are costing me time, sleep, sanity, and money.

Seriously, the fact that at about 2 or 3 AM TNT starts playing the X-Files reruns non-stop is killing me. I watch one and then I say -- oh I won't watch the next one - I'll go to bed... right after this ones over. Then I see the first 5 minutes of the next one and I can't go to bed NOW -- gotta see what happens. Who's killing everybody? What was that thing she saw? Are the cases really connected?

So I end up staying up till sunrise watching the X-Files. And yall know how I am. I get the feeling that some people think I'm joking about being afraid of the dark and not being able to watch horror movies. I'm not. I wear it on my sleeve and joke about it because it needs to be accommodated -- and hey, at least I go ahead and let you know. So after watching 3 episodes of the X-Files, I'm naturally scared shitless. This means I have to go to bed -- but it's dark. And you don't actually expect me to turn out the lights in the living room and then walk to my bedroom which means I have to pass the bathroom and the closet which are pitch black and who knows what's in there waiting to kill me. Man you know how they walk all jerky like -- or crawl on the ceiling -- THAT AIN'T RIGHT.

So the lights get left on -- costing me money on my powerbill, I'm sure. Jack enjoys me leaving the lamp behind the couch on -- he likes to bask in the warmth of the bulb.

Then I'm too afraid to lay down because what if something gets me!? No seriously man -- you know when hellraiser -- the guy with the nails was in the closet and they just kinda peek out -- I wouldn't hear it -- but see if I'm up then I'd SEE it. You see -- I'm still terrified of the horror movies I saw 10 years ago. There's no way I can add more freakyness to my horror banks -- that's why I've strictly avoided horror movies these past few years. But damn, the X-Files is just so good.

That there is a eye-pod.

Today as I was getting ready for class, someone knocked on my door. It was a DHL delivery person -- with a package! For me! But I wasn't expecting a package. I mentioned this aloud and she told me it was an iPod (she apparently delivers these a lot). An iPod? SOMEONE BOUGHT ME AN IPOD?

Yes folks, for a brief moment, I actually allowed myself to think that someone loved me enough to buy me an iPod without even telling me. I know, I might be getting delusional. Need proof? In that short moment where my mind was racing with thoughts of glorious iPods -- IPODS -- I actually had the whim that maybe this was an apology from someone who hurt me about as much as is possible -- but they bought me an iPod and I can totally be bought! Maybe it's a NANO. A BLUE ONE!

So I sign for the package without betraying my inner excitement and hope and rushed to the kitchen to grab the scissors to cut the tape. The first glimpse I get is egg-crate padding wrapped in an invoice -- WITH AN APPLE LOGO.

Holy fucking shit -- it actually is an iPod!

Nope. Just the battery from the massive recall. *sigh* Oh well.

My teachers dead, I might have skin cancer, and why is the Michelin man made of marshmallows?

So, anyone whos talked to me much this semesters has heard me talking about "walking death," my teacher. She looks worse than someone on their death bed -- seriously. She has no strength to write on the board, she walks slower than a 90-year-old after a hip-replacement, and she can barely muster the strength to form words. And you know how when you see a human skull -- you can't really picture it as a face? At least I can't -- they look far too different from a human face without all the muscles and skin. Well the first thing I thought when she walked in the room the first day was that she was a skull with skin -- seriously, it felt like an anatomy revelation. I've never been able to picture it -- but in this woman you can see it -- you can see her skull -- there's just a fine sheet of skin over it and her eyes are well sunken in. Same with her hands -- and even though she wore a sweater constantly (she needed the warmth, I'm sure) -- you could make out the bones of her back perfectly. I swear, people on their death bed usually look way better than this. I've nothing against her personally -- but as a teacher, she obviously shouldn't be teaching - she's just not up for it.

Of course technically all that should be in past tense -- as she apparently just died. No one knows what she died from but someone told me today she was 52 -- damn, she looked REALLY bad for 52. Some people think she died of anorexia -- I think she had to be sick. I'm told she looked and acted exactly like that for 5 years though. I know, this is such an insensitive post isn't it? It's even worse that I've been telling everyone there's no way shed live through the semester. I was right though... What's weird is that her obituary is like 2 lines. There's no survivors -- there will be no funeral -- not even a memorial service. I would think that after years of teaching, the university would step up and at least hold some type of service. I mean she may have had no family, but she had plenty of students and colleagues. I'd go -- as I'm sure many of her students would -- it's what should be done.

Also, I'm thinking this spot on the back of my hand isn't looking so good.

As for the rest of the title, I'm just curious -- they sell tires but the guy looks like the marshmallow man from Ghost Busters just without the blue bandana. What's up with that? Shouldn't he be made of... I don't know... tires?

The general who became a slave. The slave who became a gladiator. The gladiator who defied an emperor.

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

I can't count how many times I've seen that scene -- that moment where Russell Crow pulls off his helmet and scares the living daylights out of the emperor. Yet every single time, it's just as good as the first time. It sends that same chill down my spine and makes me want to yell at the TV "THATS RIGHT! AND HES GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

That has to be one of the best scenes in movie history. This isn't a movie I ever list in my "favorite" movies -- but I do consider it to be one of the best films ever made. What a masterpiece. The characters -- the script -- they move me. Makes me wonder if such a person could ever really exist -- such a good man. Such a good man that everyone who knew him loved him -- trusted him -- followed him.

Was the past even close to the romantic notion of books and movies? Were people so honorable? Are we still?

I love movies.

I broke it :(

Well, I did a cute little flourish/title image for October/Halloween - but it doesn't seem to be showing up. I can't figure out how to fix it. It worked this morning at work! Does anyone see it? And why the hell is my font so big all of the sudden?

Awesome relevant title

Two people tonight complimented me on my glasses without knowing that they were new to me -- just out of nowhere. I must have chosen well! Adn no one even helped me pick them out. Work cutie even told me they were sexy hot chick glasses. Nice.

Oh and I'm working on a new template full of October-y goodness. Should be up tonight considering I've got 10 hours left on my shift. Speaking of, can I just say that I fucking love technology? I brought my Powerbook with me to work in Photoshop and my Wacom tablet. I'm transfering images back and forth between that and the work PC (because it has the internet connection) with a thumb drive. And whats even better? I didn't have the Wacom tablet installed on the powerbook which sucks right? Ruin all my plans because I can't use it and I can't go home to get the discs. Bummer, right? Nope. I went to, downloaded all the software I needed to my thumb drive -- took that over to the powerbook and got the tablet working. I LOVE technology. All this internet goodness just makes me all warm and fuzzy. I guess a CS major isn't such a horrible fit for me afterall. At least the internet and gadgets get me going ;)

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