VENT

This week has confirmed what we've all already known: my sisters and I simply cannot be in the same room together. We hate each other. It's sad, yes -- but it's also true. Every single thing we do gets on each others nerves. I've always thought I'm a reasonable person, but I'm going to jump off and admit -- I'm part of the problem. Now, how about they admit it too?

Highlights from the week:

  • Sister B yelling at me when I mentioned that we need to vacuum and clean up a bit today. Because we've been here all week and my family (other than me) are casual house keepers at best. Apparently this is cause to all out scream about how I should do it myself. K -- please go jump off the balcony now and make all our lives easier.

  • This vacation, rather than hear B object to every dinner idea we put out, we decided that everyone will take a night to cook. That person will cook whatever they want -- no one gets any say in it. This has worked out awesomely. Mom did hamburger steaks and gravy. I did bar-b-que chicken stuffed baked potatoes. A did enchiladas. B had spent the entire week refusing to say what she'd cook (we needed to know so we could buy the stuff -- B refuses to go to the store). Her response was always a combination of anger, disgust, and avoidance in "I don't know how to cook anything." Finally we just got something for her to cook: Ranch & bacon burgers with fries. She refused to cook it and was furious that we planned what SHE should cook. She was a total bitch the entire night yelling about every little thing right down to the temperature of the pan.

  • I mentioned a few nights ago that we needed to keep the place a little cleaner than we had been -- since I had cleaned the kitchen twice already and it was still in a total disarray. This was met by both sisters furry in thinking that I was blaming them.

  • Today I had gone down to the beach with everyone, but as it was hot and the water is icky -- and I'm already darker than I had intended to get -- I decided to come back up to the room. Mom decided to come with me. Apparently this was all a big personal insult to A who was not only mad that we were going up -- but that we appeared to be in such a hurry to do so. She made a scene.

  • Two days ago I decided to take a shower and headed towards the main bedroom -- this is where I took my last shower so all my things were in there. This was met with more furry from A because why couldn't I use her shower -- was she a leper or something -- this was followed by a long rant about how no one would use the same shower as her. So I used her shower. And might I add here that it's polite to do things like rinse down the shower and wipe the toilet seat when you are done with them? And no, this isn't directed at any particular family member because they're all faulting here. So bitch at me about that.

  • We went to an outlet mall (where I spent 120 bucks at the gap outlet which was the best shopping experience OF MY LIFE -- everything fit -- everything looked great -- I wanted it all). At this outlet mall we went into a gourmet food store -- they were sampling chips and salsa -- HEAVEN. This led to use spending 20 dollars on salsa. When we get home, B (who naturally, didn't go to the stores -- she hardly ever leaves the room at all) immediately went for the food. She grabbed the salsa we intended for taco night -- so I told her to open the other one instead (they were 2 completely different salsas -- and we aren't talking cheap shit from the grocery store either. She slapped my hand away (I had grabbed the correct salsa to hand her) and screamed at the top of her lungs that I couldn't tell her what to do because I'm not her mother. (Apparently we are little children again -- please note, I'm the youngest). She then ate the entire jar of expensive salsa all by herself. Inhaled is a better word.

  • This morning mom told me I was eating too much. That really put my day off to a GREAT start


  • The problem is that we all hate each other (this doesn't include mom -- everyone loves mom -- shes mom). We're all on edge so everything sets off a screaming match. It stresses me out soooo much. I've got 2 ulcers in my mouth -- FROM VACATION. And mom gets so stressed out -- but after dad broke her 20 years ago -- she just takes all the stress and looks just sad and hurt. This stresses me out too. While I'm not starting screaming matches with anyone, I'm just going to assume from what I'm seeing that I HAVE to be part of the problem. I'm willing to accept that and work on it. Now, CAN THEY STOP YELLING AT ME FOR STUPID THINGS? And when I say yelling, please picture the dysfunctional families on Dr Phil.

    And then 5 seconds later, after they got that steam out -- they're all happy and vacation like and expect you to be too... after they just screamed at you over salsa. I don't work like that.

    And dear god, please don't remind me of having to drive all the way down here with B. She was honestly great for almost the entire trip -- then we hit 98 and she turns to satan. She continued that for the whole day. Mom said she just needed some sleep. Mom tries to smooth everything over all the time. I think she's just a bitch. And hey, so am I -- I think. I honestly don't know.

    And everyone down here is a fucking couple. I want to be a fucking couple. I want to be with someone on the beach. But I guess god just isn't ever going to send me someone to be a couple with. Apparently I want it so bad that I can't have it.

    I wonder if I'm like some psycho path and I just don't know it. Maybe I'm a HUGE bitch -- and not the cool kind -- the shitty kind. Like maybe I really am a total horror to be around and talk to -- maybe that's why I'm so alone. The sad thing is that at times like this I really wonder if that's true. Wouldn't that answer everything? Wouldn't that explain it all? Maybe I am and I just don't know it. People who are like that never know it. And maybe I am just really ugly. How would I know? No one will ever tell me whats so wrong with me -- if someone would just tell me whatever the hell it is -- maybe I could fix it.

    Anyway, thanks for the vent. Happy post to follow...

    1 Comments:

    Anonymous steph said...

    and that is why i quit going on family vacations a looong time ago :)

    6:21 PM  

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