Forget much?

Three things I totally spaced out on today:

  • I discovered that the oven was still on -- over an hour after i should have turned it off.

  • I forgot to take my paxil (which should have been taken when I woke up) until 5 minutes ago.

  • I was going to take a shower... but I had no towel... because I had washed clothes earlier and totally forgot to go get them.

  • On another note -- the price of the washing machines went up. I just paid $4.50 in quarters to do 2 loads of laundry (1.25 per washing machine x 2 & 1.00 per dryer x 2). Thats 18 quarters. EIGHTEEN. As in 1 quarter, 2 quarters, 3 quarters, 4 quarters, 5 quarters, 6 quarters, 7 quarters, 8 quarters, 9 quarters, 10 quarters, 11 quarters, 12 quarters, 13 quarters, 14 quarters, 15 quarters, 16 quarters, 17 quarters, 18 quarters. Over priced? You bet.

    So I see two solutions to this: 1 - stop wearing underwear or 2 - find somewhere else to do my laundry.


    New hair anxiety
    Originally uploaded by Blue Beetle.
    Today i got a new haircut. I told James to just do whatever he wanted as long as it wasn't short. He did exactly what I had in mind, actually -- but it's horrible! He layered it -- tons of layer -- its soooo short on top that I had troll hair when I got home. It's got the shape it should have. But...

    This cut highlights my biggest flaw -- thin hair. My hair is onion paper thin as it is -- plus I lost some from having the surgery and malnutrition... and well -- this cut aint helping!

    I've posted only the best 4 photos on the web here -- not the ones that scream "KAREN HAS A MULLET" -- and certianly not the ones I took from an angle where the light went straight to my scalp and look like I have a HUGE bald spot. Ugh I wanted to CRY when I uploaded all the pics I took -- some of them were horrid. I have like no hair -- and it shows so bad!

    And I can't tell if it's an awesome cut, if I have a mullet, or if I look like Frodo.

    I'm going to go sob... and think about the hats I shall buy.

    (Oh, click on the picture of me in the hoodie (hiding) to go to my photo stream where I've posted 4 pictures. Just click next.

    Thats gonna bite me in the ass later.

    Today I made a fool of my teacher... twice... in one class. Really, I ought to shut my mouth but I have this weird thing going where smart-ass remarks just shoot out sometimes -- especially if I think I'm clever. I tell people I'm shy -- but I'm far from shy, I just have low self-esteem. I'm told I'm "bold." Uhuh.

    Well, I guess if my grade comes down to an 89.7, I can guarantee theres gonna be a B on the report card and not an A. I was only playing devils advocate... Its not like I even care THAT much...

    I did make the entire class laugh. Street cred!

    At the smoothie bar

    Me: "How many grams of protein are in a protein boost?"

    Worker: "I don't know." Pointing to a jar on the counter, "The green and white one."

    Person: "8 grams."

    Me: Picking up jar, "8 grams!? That's a BOOSTER?" While reading nutritional stats, "Christ, I can get this in a snickers." Looking up, "Can you put like 4 boosters in a smoothie?"

    Worker: "Sure."

    Me: "I want a strawberry sunrise -- number 11 -- with 2 protein boosters." (Note to everyone out there -- this far too overpriced smoothie is AWESOME, is sugar free, and only has 75 calories {153 if you get it with yogurt in it} -- then they toss protein in it -- thats way better, & lass calories than the protein I drink at home. If I could afford it -- which I can't -- I'd get these everyday.)

    Person: "You had... surgery didn't you?"

    Me: Getting wallet out of purse, and in retrospect, apparently too rude to even look at someone: "Gastric Bypass."

    Person: "I knew you had lost weight! I had it a month ago. How far out are you?"

    Me: Paying for overpriced smoothie, "Facundus."

    Person: "Yeah!"

    Then we had a lengthy (considering she was having a meeting with someone at one of the tables) conversation exchanging a few things of encouragement, discouragement, and thoughts. I know who this person is, but wasn't aware she possibly had a shot at remembering me -- though, now that I think of it, I do recall making a bit of a stink that probably got me remembered by those in authority.

    Shes going on vacation tomorrow but coming back Tuesday. She says shes gonna call me and we can get together -- shes also going to take 2 bags of clotehs I have in my closet that I've been too lazy to give away yet. I told her I'd make her a 1-month out appropriate meal one night & we could work out together. I wouldn't mind this happening obviously, but I'm jaded and know too many flakes so I don't expect to hear from her again.


    Before: An ugly pile of things that blink.


    After: A picture from a catalogue.

    New Entertainment Consol

    My apartment

    Isn't it gorgeous? I love it! It cost me an entire paycheck, but I think it's worth it. It's good quality too -- solid wood in a dark brown chocolate color. There are glass sliding doors on the front of the console. And those picture frames, you'll notice, have pictures of my family.

    Also on a side note -- just the console (without the table beside it) weighs over 90lbs. I was struggling to get it to the apartment. Struggling so hard, in fact, that before I even got it from the car to the curb, one of my neighbors came out to help. He carried it all the way to my apartment for me! And do you know what I realized the other night? Good GOD -- I've lost more than that thing weighs and I couldn't even lift it over a curb without losing my balance. I had more weight than that strapped to my back 24 hours a day for years. Wow. That REALLY put things in perspective for me.

    Man, my apartment is AWESOME. I love it here. Living by myself just gets better and better! Compare THAT to my old dorm/apartment!

    Oh and BTW, I ordered the pictures for the frames from iPhoto. What a wonderful experience! Apple really has packaging and presentation down to an art form. Even the envelope my photos arrived in was gorgeous in its simplicity and style -- and the there was an inner envelope with the pictures that had a clear view window, was made from good stock in simple white and when I pulled up the flap -- there in simple Apple font: "smile."

    For all my encouragers

    This goes out to all my cheerleaders -- mostly tel & leah LOL. You're totally right. I don't have to settle for 210lbs which is nowhere near my original goal. I didn't risk my life and take on the responsibility of this surgery for the rest of my life to settle for 210lbs. I'm setting a new short term goal: I'm going to get under 200lbs. 199. Thats only 10lbs away. I'm to the point now where I'm gonna have to work for it -- and I can do that. I've lost over a hundred -- I can lose another 10 fucking pounds.

    Tonight I worked my poor little butt out. I put on a pair of shorts I stole from my sister (I'm her size now -- weird) & a corset to keep my weird jelly tummy thing from hurting when I jump around and I worked out for 35 minutes. Instead of jogging, I went old-school PE style and did push-ups (I can do 10 proper girly ones -- everyones gotta start somewhere), sit-ups (20 proper), jumping jacks (while swinging a cat toy in the air for Jack) and other such things.

    Can I point out one thing -- my lord, whatever muscles allowed me to do the crab-walk in elementary school are dead. I can't believe we used to have to do RACES like this. Have you done the crab walk lately? Try doing it fast. Damn. Oh, and I weight lifted Jack. He didn't mind.

    I'm so gonna get below 200.

    So to all my cheerleaders -- keep treading the very fine line between encouraging and nagging ;) Cause yall are really encouraging.

    Oh, and I'm not gonna make this weightloss blog, don't worry. I hope it hasn't become a weightloss blog. At least I post about my cat and psych meds too. ;)

    Gold star & a cold shower for me!

    Updates on the Gastric Bypass & the fact that I take lots of psych meds!

    I find it slightly comforting that I get to encourage (I think) people who are about to have gastric bypass and who google and find this blog. A lot of people also find me on searches for Effexor or Paxil or something else I've taken and can at least read what my experience has been. It feels really good to know that maybe I can help someone out there. Last night someone wanted to know how I was doing on the latest switch and I realized, I haven't even mentioned it in a while. So, google searchers, here you go -- I shall update like a good little guinea pig:

    Switching from Effexor XR to Paxil: I was on 300mg of Effexor XR (upped from the 150 before I had gastric bypass) for severe depression & anxiety. I chose to go off Effexor because I couldn't handle the side effects when a dose was missed or late. It's very disconcerting to become physically ill and psychologically distressed (AKA crying with a headache) just because you forgot to take ONE freaking pill 2 hours ago. It was also far too expensive. My prescription cost me over 200 dollars out of pocket every month. For these reasons, I decided to risk it and try something new.

    I chose to switch to Paxil with one of the biggest idiots ever allowed to write prescriptions. She dropped my Effexor (300 > 150 > nothing) far too fast and because of this I did experience some withdrawals. Lets face it, it sucked -- but you know what you sign up for when you start taking it. I found that my body temperature was off -- I went from sweating hot to shivering cold frequently. I was dizzy a lot. I couldn't fall asleep when I needed too -- but I could easily stay in bed all day. I was very very slightly sick for about a week in there -- but nothing compared to when I switched from Cymbalta to Effexor. And I did experience a throw back to the racing thoughts of despair that can't be controlled. It's been a few weeks and I'm leveled out now.

    I'm currently taking 60mg of Paxil -- the generic kind, not the extended release. This costs me about 55 dollars a month for 45 40mg pills (I take 1 in the morning and 1/2 a pill in the evening). I think I'm going to keep my prescription here for a while. I feel good. I do still experience high anxiety at times but I've not had an actual anxiety attack. My mood is pretty fair. Some things still upset me, obviously -- but hey, they're upsetting. I'm not going to find a magic pill to take away my problems -- but I think this dose allows me to "handle it." My general mood is fair (above sad, but just a hair below "good"). My mind is plenty lucid. For those who don't take any psych meds, it's hard to explain what I mean by that last bit. Before I took anything -- I just couldn't really get a handle on my mind. My thoughts constantly raced with multiple thought trains which were mostly negative. You couldn't tell me something was going to be OK -- because there were 5 major things I was agonizing over at any given moment. But now I can think perfectly clearly :) I can rationalize something that upsets me and move on. I have one thought train and I'm good with my one thought train. Real good with it. It's like a clear sky with a few fluffy white clouds compared to a hurricane.

    Gastric Bypass Update: Thankfully, I've not had a single complication. It's been 15 months now and I'm at 210lbs. I was 325 when I signed up for surgery (though that certainly wasn't my largest!) and 313 the day I had it. I'm to the point where it's not just going to come off its self anymore. [Before this last week], I haven't lost a pound in about 2.5 months. I admit, I've got some spots I would love to have a plastic surgeon cut off, but it's nothing compared to what you see on TV -- and it's still better than carrying all that extra weight. My cloths fit great. I can shop wherever I want. Some people don't even recognize me. I can jog and beat my little nephew in a race. I can go up 4 flight of stairs and not be phased in the least. I sit with my legs crossed -- chairs are suddenly much more roomy.

    But just because I lost a whole person, doesn't mean I feel like it. At some points, I seriously feel like I look ever worse than I did before. I'm very hard on myself. Eating is never fun anymore. I worry and agonize and hate myself if I think I've eaten too much. I worry about what other people think about what I'm eating.

    I eat a normal amount. Far less than I used too -- but I'm not eating an ounce either. I read the servings sizes on everything and usually eat a serving of something. Before, servings were so sickeningly small -- now I use them as my rule. For breakfast, I have a small bowl of cereal (if I'm in a hurry) or some egg beaters. On special occasions (like vacation) I let myself have 2 sausage links and some egg beaters. For dinner I have a serving of some protein and a serving of a side -- I try to make sure I have healthy veggies as the side more than "bad" veggies like potatoes or corn. Rather than eating 3 or 4 slices of pizza -- now I just have one.

    I never feel full though. That's a major drag and much worse than you can possibly predict. Though most people tell me they do feel full. I never do. I just decide before I start eating how much I'll eat and when I'll stop and then I stop when I said I would. I could easily eat more than I do -- but you just have to have will power to not. Just because I CAN eat another serving doesn't mean I SHOULD. Oh, and fuck everyone who says they don't get hungry. I do -- my stomach even growls just like it always did.

    At first, sugar would make me super sick. It doesn't anymore -- but I still buy everything sugar free because it's a good habit to have and much more healthy. High-sugar or high-fat foods do make me sick. They give me a tummy ache (sometimes severe) and make my intestines attempt to clear everything out.

    Constantly throwing away clothes is harder than you think it will be. But you have to make yourself! You're never going to be that size again -- EVER -- so why keep the clothes? Give that shit away.

    I still haven't had a soda and have no intentions of picking them back up. Switching to drinking water or sugar-free tea exclusively takes some working at first, but it's not as hard as you might think. The reason we can't drink coke is because the carbonation can stretch our stomachs. Well, now my stomach stretched anyway so theoretically, I might as well drink them. But face it -- they're unhealthy. Why pick back up a bad habit that I don't even miss?

    You know how everyone says it's not a magic fix -- its a tool. You have to change your life. Well, they're right. The surgery just gave me a drastic tool to overhaul my diet. After 15 months, I'm not experiencing the sicknesses and the tiny pouch and all that that forces you to eat like you should. Now I'm just doing it because I know I should, I know better, and thankfully it's become habit. If you don't want to change, you won't. I could easily start eating tons of junk and constantly munching and gain it all back - and lots do. The surgery won't keep you from doing that after a year or two -- it's all going to be YOU.

    I just had all my bloodwork done again - and I'm doing wonderfully! Not a single problem. I still don't regret it one single bit. I'm thankful that God provided the opportunity to have it and I'm so glad that I did it.

    At 210lbs, I'm far from where I hoped and expected to be at 15 months out. I get very discouraged and am very hard on myself. I've fallen into a slump of thinking that this is just the way its going to be.

    HOWEVER, last week I was hanging the scale between 215 & 212 depending on time of day and stuff. Today the scale is happily on 210. These are the first pounds I've lost in weeks and I'm greatly encouraged by it. I dedicate these lbs to Tel & Leah. Leahs been a constant encourager in comments, so I certainly can't leave her out. But last week I posted about it even though I was in my rut -- and Tells comment inspired me to start downing my protein shakes again and making the right choices and that was enough to move the scale. I'm losing again and I'll be BELOW 200 before I know it!

    More eBay Stained Glass

    I just posted 2 stained glass crosses on eBay. The set of butterflies didn't sell but I've reposted them. I guess it's a good thing I decided to test eBay before I committed to buying the supplies and moving my tools up here to Huntsville. If I can't sell my work, then it can't pay for itself as a hobby. eBay seems to be saturated with hundreds of stained glass pieces.

    Anyway, I wanted to post pictures of these latest crosses:

    The first cross is made from salvaged antique glass. It's from a church window down in Birmingham. I made a few of these (to sell on eBay) but I've kept about as many as I've kept to sell! I had to keep one for myself -- how could I pass it up! It's a great conversation piece -- gorgeous -- and really has a history. Mom wanted one too, and she's giving another as a housewarming gift for one of her real estate clients. I still have 5 to sell though, this is the first. (see a better picture on my flicker *here* -- or check out the eBay auction *here*)

    The second picture is one of my faves! It's not painted glass -- its actually squares of fused glass. Little bitty stained glass rods are aligned to make the "plaid" pattern and then they're fused (melted) together. I used a solid 100% copper border to edge each square and then spot-soldered the corners. I left the solder silver because I just loved the contrast. This one is a cutie! If I had a good spot for it, I'd keep it for myself. (see a better picture on my flicker *here* -- or check out the eBay auction *here* The ebay auction has another picture where you can see the copper border too)

    As I sat in front of the refridgerator and aligned the 200 tiny magnets, all I could think about was that time the doctor asked me if I have OCD.

    As I sat in front of the refridgerator and aligned the 200 tiny magnets, the only thing I could think about was that time the doctor asked me if I have OCD.


    I just deposited a hefty check into my savings account (remember, that's college student "hefty" not career "hefty"). I haven't been this financially solid... ever. My rent and bills are paid well through my lease here in this apartment. I've got a good job and a great place to live. And come spring semester, I'll get another "hefty" check to add to what will be left of this one. It just feels nice.

    I know they say not to borrow more than you need, but I am anyway -- I'm putting it in savings. I've never had a savings -- I'm usually worried about where rent will come from because my loans don't usually cover it. But now that I'm an independent -- they'll give me plenty :) Also, I won't be getting loans for summer, so I need to save for that. But also, I've got to start considering what the fuck I'm going to do in a year when I have a degree. While I'm way too scared to even THINK about it -- I know it's going to cost money, no matter what it is. So I'm just trying to build up savings so I won't have an anxiety attack (though it's never ONE anxiety attack -- it's usually many).

    My lord it feels good. I'm doing well in school. I've got plenty of money for tuition, rent, and even a few bills. I've got a great job & my cat. I absolutely LOVE where I live. My god, there are NO roommates -- not good roommates -- NO roommates. It's heavenly. And, AND -- I get to drive a fucking luxury turbo Beetle everywhere I go. I can just go sit in it if I want, and I have.

    *claps* Things are going so well!

    Check your batteries, Macists

    Just saw this article on CNN about Apple battery recalls. My number is up.

    So on the one hand: fooey, they recalled my battery!

    On the other hand: Shiny new battery with super long battery life! For free! WOO!

    Somewhere along in the bitterness

    I don't know if I've mentioned it -- but I'm in love with the show "Grey's Anatomy." And when I say I'm in love with it, I mean I have marked the season premiere on my calendar and still watch all the reruns. It's funny. I started watching it because of its time slot. It came on after "Desperate Housewives" which I watched with a friend and then we'd stay up talking and Grey's Anat just happened to be on the TV and I was too lazy to change it. And after I while, I actually began to like it... and then I started liking it way better than Housewives. And then I found myself screaming curse words at the TV when the reception blinked out during the season finale -- and then when it came back on the finale made me cry. I cannot WAIT until the new season starts. Don't dare try to talk to me on Thursday nights when it comes on cause I'm so gonna be busy.

    I don't know if you've seen the awesome commercials advertising the new seasons upcoming start but they're awesome and moving (shut up -- it's an awesome show AND DANNY DIED and izzy was all dressed up and crying and he scooped her up and carried her off -- dammit it's sad.) The background music of that commercial is quite compelling. Tonight I finally googled the lyrics and downloaded the song on iTunes. It's the Fray's "How to Save a Life."

    "Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend --
    Somewhere along in the bitterness.
    And I would have stayed up with you all night
    Had I known how to save a life..."

    And yes, you. I'm fully aware of how appropriate those lyrics are. They hit home rather hard. But I still don't know how to save my life.

    Thank you, dear reader, for allowing me that myspace song lyric rant. I'm done. Maybe.


    Originally uploaded by Blue Beetle.
    For everyone who has been waiting for years to see when I would go back to my natural hair color... and then for those who have never seen it -- here it is.

    I kinda like it. I think I'll not tell my family that I dyed it so that next time they see me they'll be like -- holy shit, your hair is BROWN.

    The newness of it all

    First Day of School
    Originally uploaded by Blue Beetle.
    When I was finally unpacking my suitcase the other day, I pulled out a pair of jeans. And had that "Oh shit these aren't mine" moment. Don't you hate that? For one, whos are these -- and two, do they have MINE?

    You know what? They were my jeans. You know why I didn't know they were mine -- they were too small. I'm used to my jeans being much... wider. These are the size of my friends jeans. These are the size of my sisters jeans. My ass would never fit in these jeans. ...But it does.

    I'm surprised at the clothes I fit in. When I'm with my family they'll hand me something to try on -- "I can't fit in that." And they make me try it on -- and I can. It's weird.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm still fat and fully aware of that. But I haven't been this "small" since like 6th or 7th grade. Literally. And I feel bad for myself for everything I missed out on. People really do treat you so much different when you're bigger. I'm still self conscious as hell -- but people treat me different -- they look at me different... or should I say they look at me less. I don't stick out. I'm normal...ish. It's very sad and yet nice.

    And I've come so far. I had class today in Madison hall. I haven't had a class there in quite a while. In fact, last time I did -- I was 120lbs heavier and had frequent anxiety attacks in the stairwell. Today I got dressed, figured I looked pretty cute -- jogged up the three flights of stairs (note -- not barely made it up -- I hopped right up the three flights -- no problem -- not even a pause) and I didn't freak out about all the people staring at me (or that I thought were staring at me). It's so very different.

    And I sit with my legs crossed constantly. I never could do that before LOL. Now thats the only way I sit.

    And my breasts look huge -- have I mentioned that? My ass looks good too.

    Of course I've got this huge pudgy tummy that just won't shrink -- but as people tend to yell at me lately: IVE LOST 120 POUNDS.

    I was sitting (with my legs crossed) in the ER waiting on a friend the other night and it occurred to me that this chair might have been a tight fit before. Now I've got inches.

    And christ -- the shoes! I wear a 8.5 now. I used to wear a 10. I cant believe how tiny my feet are. I can't judge shoes by looking at them -- I have to try them on. I can even wear some 8s. The other night I picked up some 8.5s and knew they wouldn't fit. And not -- a size too small -- no. It'd be like you picking up a childs size 5 and going -- yeah, no. But I tried them on and damn if they didn't fit!

    And veininy things stick out of my hands and feet when I flex them... and my neck feels so icky. And I couldn't make a double chin if I tried.

    And I jog up stairs!

    And lord, tiny rings too. I used to wear an 11 ring. Now I'm an 8. That's a big difference.

    AND ALL THE PRETTY BRACELETS! I love bracelets now -- they never EVER fit before -- now I can wear the tiniest ones. So cute!

    So yeah, I'm still pretty down on my looks -- I mean, I'm still big and no guys are hitting on me. But, it's very different -- in a good way. And I can go into stores like the gap and try on everything -- cause it fits! I can buy clothes where ever I want! (If I could afford them).

    I'd write more... but I'm dying my hair and I need to rinse it out before it falls off or something.

    I'm a dork, I know.

    So I found this site... and well... here's how to write my name in Elvish:

    I couldn't resist.

    Semester Eve

    Fall semester starts tomorrow. *eek* The good news is that my fin aid is already through and I have more than enough to beef up my savings and cover all my bills & rent for the semester -- PRAISE GOD! WOO! Of course I'm only using that money for rent and preferably only a few bills -- so I'm still not rolling in the dough here. Blech. But -- I'll graduate soon! YAY! PRAISE GOD AGAIN! AND I LOST 120lbs! YAY! WOO!

    Surprisingly, I'm still super nervous. This semester is going to be my most difficult yet and it doesn't look like I'm going to be getting a single day off until around my Birthday -- which I've already requested off @ work (not that it has any chance as being 10% as good as my last birthday, thanks to a friend :) -- but here's hoping). I know I'm getting sheets for my birthday though. I'm excited about that. I never realized the difference between cheap sheets and nice sheets until I slept on my moms bed which has 600 thread count egyptian cotton sheets. Oh. My. God. I've been missing out. Though I can't bring myself to pay 70 dollars for a set of sheets -- so mom says she'll get me some for my birthday! Nice sheets! And for christmas I get an entertainment center for my apartment!

    Jack's still a little sweetheart devil. The beetle is still my dream car. I FUCKING LOVE MY APARTMENT. And, I did great last semester. Things are going well. Let me repeat that to myself: Things are going REALLY well, Karen -- no need to stress out.

    Since last nights movie night was ruined and I still have a new netflix, I'm having movie night tonight. I'm just wasting time until dinner is ready. I'm having steak & roasted red potatoes with fake sweet-tea to drink and watching the Shipping News. It's got Kevin Spacey in it. *Swoon*

    The ER is not nearly as entertaining as it appears on TV.

    Last night was movie night. As with other movie nights, I got dinner ready -- sat down down on the floor in front of the TV with dinner, a pillow, and the cat and started my movie. It was another Kevin Spacey flick -- The Negotiator. Kevin Spacey is so hot and such a perfect actor -- have I mentioned that?

    Anyway, about 30 minutes before the end -- when the movie is climaxing, my phone rings. "Hey Karen, can you take me to the hospital, I can't drive." This is somewhere around 8:30.

    So I pick her up and we go to Huntsville Hospital. The waiting room is PACKED and the nurse is making announcements that half of the ER is serving as admissions for the upstairs and they're honestly trying to see everyone as soon as possible. Oh, that's bad. So we go to Crestwoods ER. This was at 9. She finally gets seen at 1am... 4 hours later. And what do they do? Nothing. They write her some prescriptions and send her home. Nice -- that was REALLY worth it.

    Bad Cat

    Today Jack tried to wake me up by bringing me toys and pouncing on me continuously while playing with them. When that didn't work, he bit me on the back of the knee. Yes, it hurt.

    Then when I finally get up, he's so excited that hes purring and running around and attacking everything... and he breaks one of the butterflies I had up on eBay. Well, he didn't total it -- it's just got a slight hairline crack in the wing. Still, can't sell it on eBay now. So, if anyone is interested -- the set of three butterflies is now a set of two butterflies -- and I discounted the price. SALE!

    Did I mention the "present" he brought me the other morning? He brought me a bug. Only I was asleep... so he dropped it on my face.

    I get the feeling Jack misses me when I go to bed.

    Bits & Pieces: Saturday Edition

  • The search for wall sconces is over. I never thought I'd have so much trouble finding a fucking wall sconce -- didn't they used to be the biggest thing? Everyone has wall sconces! Well, not me. I've been to Ross, Marshals, TJ Maxx, Steinmart, Target, Walmart, Kirklands, Freds (hey, they do have some really cute decorating stuff in there -- don't knock it before you try it), Pier One, and three different Thrift Stores. Nothing. I did find a few sconces at Kirklands but they were all HUGE (the only medium sized pair was super ugly). I want some nice Spanish-vibe wrought-iron wall sconces for candles. You'd think that would be super easy to find. Wrong.

    And I was thinking of ordering some prints from iPhoto -- just some shots of family. But where the hell would I put them? I've got nowhere to put them or hang them -- not to mention no frames. Is it weird that I don't have any family pics around? Maybe when I get a entertainment center/console/buffet I'll have space for some photos. I don't want to have too much "stuff" around -- you know?

  • Jack's been enjoying (or not?) some catnip. When I first got him, I bought him some catnip but he didn't respond to it at all. Come to find out that cats don't respond to cat nip until they are sexually mature (and even then, some don't). Well, I figured out that Jack responds now.

    I had taken the bag of it home to my mom for her to give her cat. Mena never cared for it either and the bags just been floating around since then. Well, Jack found it -- or it found Jack. It makes him CRAZY. Not funny crazy, but like -- dude -- I can't tell if he likes it or if this is being mean. He just plays with the ziplock baggy of catnip -- no need for expensive toys. Then he goes crazy -- kinda like when you bounce a super bouncy ball as hard as you can in the kitchen and watch it ricochet of all manner of things causing havoc. And he even gets this weird look in his eyes. I thought he was normally hyper, man watch out when he gets that shit. It's scary. I think it's like how people are when they are drunk. Some people are happy drunk -- some people are pissy drunk -- some people are paranoid crazy drunk. I think Jack falls into the latter category.

  • I posted my first eBay auction today (*linky linky*). Now I'm afraid it won't sell -- I think I priced it too high (though I went lower than what most suggested). I'm worried now.

  • Today was move-in day on campus. This means Freshman. THAT means Freshmans parents. I was warned that it would happen -- but I didn't believe it. It happened. I never thought anyone would do such a thing -- ever. What -- you ask? One of the parents, about to leave their child for the first time, decided they need to test the fire alarm and see how fast the response was. They got a lot more than they bargained for.

    Pulling an alarm for no reason is illegal -- it's illegal for a reason. Immediately after the pull -- the huge 7-story residence hall was filled with painfully loud alarms. I've never heard such loud alarms in my life as the alarms I heard when I live there. This triggers immediate evacuation and me dispatching all our officers. Being that this was move-in day & also the day that American Idol was having try-outs on campus, we had a lot of officers. 5 cars responded immediately -- lights blaring. This was followed by 2 -- TWO -- fire trucks. Then they have to search the building to make sure everyone was out and nothing was on fire. This means all the new Freshman... and their parents had to stand outside -- in the 100 degree alabama heat. ALL BECAUSE SOME FUCKING IDIOT WANTS TO TEST THE SYSTEM.

    From my description, do you have any comprehension of how many resources something this stupid takes? How much money it costs the city? All the paper work? All the officers and firemen who have to WASTE their time? You should have heard the radio traffic -- everyone talking at once. A nightmare -- on the worst possible day for it to happen. Against my hopes, they didn't arrest the stupid fucker -- but they did make him stand there in the middle of the CCRH lobby -- in the middle of the blaring alarms and watch all the commotion and see just exactly what he just did. Needless to say the man was mortified and very apologetic. Fucking moron. They should have arrested him.

    I'm told that this has happened for every one of the past three years. In fact, before it happened -- one of the officers mentioned specifically telling the RAs to warn against it. I honestly didn't think anyone could be that ignorant and selfish. I mean we're legally required to respond full on wether we know its false or not. IDIOT.

  • Other things that happened today: The North 2 elevator alarm button was repeatedly pressed all day long. By "accident." Uhuh. The last time they wouldn't even respond to my inquiries so I had to send an officer over to check it out -- even though I could HEAR them in the elevator ignoring me.

    Also, there was a soccer game and a soccer mom passed out from heat exhaustion. It was super hot today.

    Oh, and the huge flake at work totally quit. I CALLED IT! *I bow* I can spot a flake from a mile away. It's nice of him to quit after he was trained for 3 weeks and to quit right when the trainer is about to burst with a baby so it's impossible for her to train a replacment before the baby comes. Oh and right after they paid 400 to get him certified. What a fucker. I hope I see him again just so I can point out how immature he is. He's very immature and this was his first job. He thinks he can find something better. HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hey, take it from the chick whos had a million jobs -- you're not going to find a job that pays this much, first of all (especially not when you don't have two good arms. It's just logistics -- most jobs require a lot of stocking -- he can't stock). And dude - I don't think a more cushy job exists. This job is super easy -- its fucking perfect -- its regular hours and good pay -- and a great job -- we're police dispatchers for gods sake -- thats cool. Yeah -- he's gonna find something better. HAHAHAHAHA.

  • New semester. Time to get my hair done...
  • I hate banks. A lot.

    Why do I always have trouble with banks? I switched banks because my last banks gave me trouble and now wachovia is fucking me over too. Bastards! Here's the deal -- see if you can make sense of it:

    Thursday I deposited a lovely large paycheck into my account. I did this shortly after 2pm which is after the same day cutoff time. So it won't be credited until Friday. This sucks a lot because I couldn't purchase anything Thursday night with my money -- but hey, at least it was spelled out and I knew. Cut to Friday -- K moneys in my account now -- recipt says it will be effective on the 18th and today is the 18th -- right? Let's spend that money! I did a lot of bill paying and running around today. That ran down the account balance that was already in there pretty quick -- but that's ok because I have hundreds of dollars in the bank. I can purchase a 8-dollar table cloth. Right? Wrong.

    After a few stores, my card was declined. Now, I know this is an error -- but it's still incredibly embarrassing. I go home to check my account and see what the fuck is up. Apparently, I've been over drafting all day. Now, I have overdraft prtection on this account -- so that money came out of my savings account. The problem is that that's my savings and IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE 300 FUCKING DOLLARS I DEPOSITED YESTERDAY. So I called them up just now. It's 11PM Friday night. My paycheck should have credited for Friday right? Noooooooo -- they don't credit them till after midnight for that day. So basically, because I was 15 minutes after the cuttoff on Thursday, my check won't credit for -- not a day like they say -- not the next day like they say AND IS PRINTED ON THE TRANSACTION RECIPT I HAVE IN MY HAND -- but will not be credited until somewhere between 34 and 41 hours later. NEXT DAY MY ASS. Last I recalled, Saturday is not the day after Thursday. I've bounced 4 transactions today. Real good thing I didn't make it to the power company to pay the powerbill!

    I'm pissed. They have hundreds of dollars of my money in that bank and I can't spend a cent and my credit card is getting denied.


    "Deposit Date: 8/17 Deposit effective date: 8/18" Yet here I sit 8/18 11PM and the deposit still isn't effective -- and it's not going to be effective until between midnight and 7am -- that would be 8/19.

    Someone is getting yelled at Monday morning and all that money is getting shifted right back into my savings with my written complaint on record. I'm fucking pissed.


    Butterfly Set
    Originally uploaded by Blue Beetle.
    I love this set of stained glass butterflies I made earlier in the week. I'm going to put them up on eBay -- but I have to admit, they look awesome in my window until someone buys them ;)

    Home Sweet Home

    I feels good to be home. And I brought shiny new things home with me -- so I've been (re)decorating bits and pieces of the apartment. Naturally, I'm posting pictures. Here's the dining room!

    My plan to claim the monkey as my own is progressing nicely. First, I cleaned it up and moved it from the garage to my bedroom. Now I've brought it from my old bedroom at moms to my dining room in Huntsville. Soon no one will question my ownership of the ugly monkey. Why do I want something I repeatedly refer to as "ugly" and "crazy" and "weird?" It's a piece of family history. This monkey was acquired by my great grandfather in World War 1 (He was a soldier) and given to his wife upon his return. It's been passed down to my mother. I can't remember mom ever actually hanging it up -- it's always just been shoved somewhere. When I was little, it was in the hallway leaning against a unused office desk which served quite nicely as my fort. Obviously, the monkey was the perfect door to my make-shift fort. It eventually made its way to the basement where it was covered in dust and animal hair and forgotten... until I cleaned it up one day and put it in my bedroom. I've slowly been claiming it every since ;)

    This is a piece of family history and reminds me of mom and home and comfort. It's also a museum quality piece (there one just like it in the Birmingham Museum of Art's collection) that is worth a lot of money. I'd rather it stay with me because it means something to me -- as far as I know, the only value it has to my siblings is monetary.

    Now I've hung it in my dining room -- and I LOVE it. The only problem is that it didn't fit in with my apartment at all. So today I went shopping and picked up the table cloth you see here in autumn colors that blend with the monkey. And to spice it up, I got this great bamboo runner and a set of three candle cages as a centerpiece. The only other thing I need is a set of wall sconces to go on either side of the monkey.

    I also hung some new things in the kitchen. I love my new "toast" painting. It's gorgeously framed and its quirky. Totally perfect for me. And that cross is salvaged antique glass from a local church. So not only is it gorgeous, it's also special and a great conversation piece. And if you'd like one, I'm selling a few just like it on eBay.

    I'm LOVING this apartment. IT'S HOME!

    Florida pictures!

    Beach Tourists
    Originally uploaded by Blue Beetle.
    I know you've all been waiting anxiously to see the pictures from my vacation -- well wait no more! I've uploaded pictures to flickr for all to see. You can start at the first picture (here) and then click through to the end. Or start at the end (here) -- whatever you want. You should look -- there's lots of good ones -- and if you don't look then I'm going to have to start making posts to show them to you.

    There's pictures of little seagull feet, and me & my fam, and in some of them I'm wearing a low cut top that makes my breasts look huge. I need to take more pictures of me bending over things.

    Look & comment before I have to show up at your house with a photo album.

    Karens Creations?

    I've had such a positive response to the stained glass I've been doing these past few days that I've decided to sell some. I'd love to pick it up if it could support it's own cost -- but at the moment it doesn't. I need lots of space to do it and lots of supplies -- expensive supplies. I'd also have to haul it all up to my little apartment and find some place where I could actually do it. So this would require lots of effort, probably a little stress, and an initial investment for the supplies. My sister has offered to loan me a bit to get me started because she thinks I could make a killing eBaying this stuff. But before I commit, I'm going to test the waters.

    I've been working all day to produce some pieces. I've got more dragonflies, some gorgeous butterflies, and a couple of crosses made from a broken church window (isn't that AWESOME -- you can have a cross made from a real church window that has stood over thousands of church services and seen countless people blessed in unimaginable ways -- YOU CAN HANG IT IN YOUR HOUSE). I'm going to take all this home with me tomorrow, take great pictures and set up an eBay store. If this works out (it might be a total flop -- in which case lots of people will be getting stained glass presents), then I'll invest and put forth the effort to get a little hobby side-business going. I'd love to do it -- I enjoy the work. But I have to know that it will be worth it and pay for itself.

    So wish me luck!

    Oh, and thanks to M who is buying the original grey dragonfly -- You'll love it, I promise. It's kinda sad to see it go -- I was thinking of keeping it for myself ;)

    Oh-My-God. They advertise on bananas now.

    Originally uploaded by Blue Beetle.
    Yes, you read that correctly. They now officially advertise on bananas. Tonight I purchased two Dole bananas from the Winn-Dixie in Trussville, Alabama. When I picked them up for a snack this evening, I noticed something peculiar: an honest-to-god advertisement.

    I have documented it with this picture for the world to see. Plain as day there is a sticker telling me how there is "delicious creamy taste in every spoonful of Kozy Shack Pudding in the dairy aisle."

    I am in shock.

    Bits & Pieces

  • Tonight I made the cutest tiny dragonfly for Tracy. It's so cute, in fact, that I want it for myself. I'd make myself one, but this was the last tiny body I had :( It would make an adorable necklace. She's going to use it for a fan pull. I wanted to make a nice stylish cross for myself -- and one for mom, but I can't seem to cut a nice thin straight piece of glass. I need breaker pliers and mine are messed up.

  • I will be going home with new artwork though. At the outlet mall, I picked up the cutest framed picture for the kitchen -- it's just a picture of a toaster and it says "toast." The framing is simply gorgeous and it's so adorable! Original price: 30 bucks -- I got it for 8! I'm taking the monkey home too. It's this ancient ugly as hell indian artwork from WW1 -- great art -- museum quality. It's coming home with me to hang in my new place! I'll post pictures so you can see what I'm talking about when I get back home.

  • On another positive note: Tracy, a friend of the family (who is renting my old room at moms) didn't even recognize me when I came home. Isn't that cool! I worked with her for years in daycare, so she knows what I look like -- she just hasn't seen me since I dropped all the weight.

  • And Jacks not mad at me in the least -- he still just purrs like crazy when I pet him. What a sweety!

  • Oh and I tried the McDonalds new chicken snack wrap. YUM. It was excellent. Though they're quite small -- just one chicken finger wrapped up. So if you want it for a meal, get two. It was so good that I made chicken wraps for dinner tonight. Crispy chicken fingers, fat free cheese & fat free ranch with some shredded lettuce. Thanks for the inspiration, Ronald.

  • Speaking of chicken -- what the fuck is with chicken fingers? You can't get quality chicken fingers in the store anymore. I drove further out into trussville to go to Winn-Dixie in hopes that they'd have decent chicken (I already know Target & Walmart don't). They didn't. No one has extra crispy chicken fingers anymore -- and I don't want chicken that's been artificially shaped either. And I want all white meat -- not shit with rib meat mixed in. You know who used to have the BEST chicken fingers? South-Eastern Meats. They were all white and SO crispy. Milo's is the only place you can get that kinda finger anymore. It's sad when McDonalds has better chicken fingers than can be bought in the store.

  • One more thing: my lips are totally fried from the beach. It's killing me. I slathered in sweat-proof water-proof sports 45 SPF sunscreen repeatedly all over and had a special 30 SPF face stick which prevented me from getting even a hint of burn anywhere on my face (I highly recommend it) -- but totally spaced and didn't even think to protect my lips. Ugh.
  • Butterflies

    Mom requested that I make her some more butterfly garden stakes. Here's what I came up with:

    The large orange one is the original (she was requesting more). As you can see, it's already been out in the yard for quite a while -- it's already beginning to oxidize. I like the "natural" look of the oxidation -- if I wanted, I could wax them and keep them shiny new forever. I think these are adorable! They really look great in a flower pot -- me and mom are garden people. I just can't have any plants because Jack would eat them.


    Stained-Glass Dragonfly
    Originally uploaded by Blue Beetle.

    I figured while I'm in Birmingham, I could do some stained glass. I made this dragonfly this evening. I wanted to do something super simple since it's been months since I cut a piece of glass. It's really pretty -- but what do I do with it now?

    This is the dilemma I run into with all my art. I love making it -- but then what the hell do I do with it? I thought about maybe making a bunch of Christmas ornaments for my tree... Or maybe hanging them from various places in my apartment... but then aren't pretty dragonflies and butterflies handing from the ceiling a bit too childish for me? I also thought about making a picture frame and soldering this to the corner -- but then what do I do with THAT. This is the problem with arts and crafts. Anyone want to buy one? Great quality -- lots of different glass options -- 15 bucks.

    EDIT: After seeing that one, Steph requested that I make her a blue one -- and being that I'm so awesome, here's a picture of her blue one.

    Steph: you can pick it up in Huntsville... at a mexican restaurant ;)


    I'm still at the beach. Going back to Birmingham tomorrow (dear lord please don't let Jack be mad at me. I didn't want to have to leave him in Birmingham. He's my friend. I hope he gets over his anger quickly. Cats get angry) then Huntsville on Wednesday.

    I've got lots of pictures to post but I'm on a dial-up that won't connect at higher than 26k for some gawd-aweful reason. So You'll have to wait until this weekend or next week to see my family and me at the beach -- I know you're waiting with baited breath so I apologize. To hold you over, here's a drip-castle I built on the beach:

    Isn't it pretty?

    Highlight of the week: The outlet malls. I hit the Gap outlet up for 120 bucks. 2 pairs of gorgeous super stylish tailored pants -- LOVE them. Three tops & a crochet duster. I went into the dressing room with my arms full of stuff -- all 18 & XL (this is the first year I've been able to get pants at the gap). It was honestly the best shopping experience of my life. Everything I tried on fit and fit well. I wanted it all. Sadly, I couldn't afford it all. But it's great to have some nice quality clothes that fit! I'm gonna look great!

    Oh and I got my grades back for the semester! I did GREAT! Best semester I've had in 2 years! GO ME!


    This week has confirmed what we've all already known: my sisters and I simply cannot be in the same room together. We hate each other. It's sad, yes -- but it's also true. Every single thing we do gets on each others nerves. I've always thought I'm a reasonable person, but I'm going to jump off and admit -- I'm part of the problem. Now, how about they admit it too?

    Highlights from the week:

  • Sister B yelling at me when I mentioned that we need to vacuum and clean up a bit today. Because we've been here all week and my family (other than me) are casual house keepers at best. Apparently this is cause to all out scream about how I should do it myself. K -- please go jump off the balcony now and make all our lives easier.

  • This vacation, rather than hear B object to every dinner idea we put out, we decided that everyone will take a night to cook. That person will cook whatever they want -- no one gets any say in it. This has worked out awesomely. Mom did hamburger steaks and gravy. I did bar-b-que chicken stuffed baked potatoes. A did enchiladas. B had spent the entire week refusing to say what she'd cook (we needed to know so we could buy the stuff -- B refuses to go to the store). Her response was always a combination of anger, disgust, and avoidance in "I don't know how to cook anything." Finally we just got something for her to cook: Ranch & bacon burgers with fries. She refused to cook it and was furious that we planned what SHE should cook. She was a total bitch the entire night yelling about every little thing right down to the temperature of the pan.

  • I mentioned a few nights ago that we needed to keep the place a little cleaner than we had been -- since I had cleaned the kitchen twice already and it was still in a total disarray. This was met by both sisters furry in thinking that I was blaming them.

  • Today I had gone down to the beach with everyone, but as it was hot and the water is icky -- and I'm already darker than I had intended to get -- I decided to come back up to the room. Mom decided to come with me. Apparently this was all a big personal insult to A who was not only mad that we were going up -- but that we appeared to be in such a hurry to do so. She made a scene.

  • Two days ago I decided to take a shower and headed towards the main bedroom -- this is where I took my last shower so all my things were in there. This was met with more furry from A because why couldn't I use her shower -- was she a leper or something -- this was followed by a long rant about how no one would use the same shower as her. So I used her shower. And might I add here that it's polite to do things like rinse down the shower and wipe the toilet seat when you are done with them? And no, this isn't directed at any particular family member because they're all faulting here. So bitch at me about that.

  • We went to an outlet mall (where I spent 120 bucks at the gap outlet which was the best shopping experience OF MY LIFE -- everything fit -- everything looked great -- I wanted it all). At this outlet mall we went into a gourmet food store -- they were sampling chips and salsa -- HEAVEN. This led to use spending 20 dollars on salsa. When we get home, B (who naturally, didn't go to the stores -- she hardly ever leaves the room at all) immediately went for the food. She grabbed the salsa we intended for taco night -- so I told her to open the other one instead (they were 2 completely different salsas -- and we aren't talking cheap shit from the grocery store either. She slapped my hand away (I had grabbed the correct salsa to hand her) and screamed at the top of her lungs that I couldn't tell her what to do because I'm not her mother. (Apparently we are little children again -- please note, I'm the youngest). She then ate the entire jar of expensive salsa all by herself. Inhaled is a better word.

  • This morning mom told me I was eating too much. That really put my day off to a GREAT start

  • The problem is that we all hate each other (this doesn't include mom -- everyone loves mom -- shes mom). We're all on edge so everything sets off a screaming match. It stresses me out soooo much. I've got 2 ulcers in my mouth -- FROM VACATION. And mom gets so stressed out -- but after dad broke her 20 years ago -- she just takes all the stress and looks just sad and hurt. This stresses me out too. While I'm not starting screaming matches with anyone, I'm just going to assume from what I'm seeing that I HAVE to be part of the problem. I'm willing to accept that and work on it. Now, CAN THEY STOP YELLING AT ME FOR STUPID THINGS? And when I say yelling, please picture the dysfunctional families on Dr Phil.

    And then 5 seconds later, after they got that steam out -- they're all happy and vacation like and expect you to be too... after they just screamed at you over salsa. I don't work like that.

    And dear god, please don't remind me of having to drive all the way down here with B. She was honestly great for almost the entire trip -- then we hit 98 and she turns to satan. She continued that for the whole day. Mom said she just needed some sleep. Mom tries to smooth everything over all the time. I think she's just a bitch. And hey, so am I -- I think. I honestly don't know.

    And everyone down here is a fucking couple. I want to be a fucking couple. I want to be with someone on the beach. But I guess god just isn't ever going to send me someone to be a couple with. Apparently I want it so bad that I can't have it.

    I wonder if I'm like some psycho path and I just don't know it. Maybe I'm a HUGE bitch -- and not the cool kind -- the shitty kind. Like maybe I really am a total horror to be around and talk to -- maybe that's why I'm so alone. The sad thing is that at times like this I really wonder if that's true. Wouldn't that answer everything? Wouldn't that explain it all? Maybe I am and I just don't know it. People who are like that never know it. And maybe I am just really ugly. How would I know? No one will ever tell me whats so wrong with me -- if someone would just tell me whatever the hell it is -- maybe I could fix it.

    Anyway, thanks for the vent. Happy post to follow...

    Noise Cancelation

    Now I've had noise-canceling headphones for months now, but other than using them once on an airplane, I've really had no use for them. I figured it was just a waste of money. In fact, I have them with me here on vacation and my sister said I looked "special" with them on.

    Now everyone's looking at me with envy. Why? They're working on the condo -- specifically they are chipping stucko off the front to redo it. They're jackhammering the building. You can image how GREAT it sounds to be in here.

    But I'm listening to Lifehouse with my noise canceling headphones. I don't hear a thing. HA. EAT IT. Go take your advil -- I'm good.


    I don't usually watch Futuroma... but this made me laugh so hard I have to share:
    Old Man: "Get off my land!"
    Hippies: "You can't OWN land, man."
    Old Man: "YOU can't, but I can because I'm not a penniless hippy!"


    I've got to work this weekend but then Monday I'm off to the beach! Jacks staying in Birmingham or Tennessee -- I guess Birmingham since I haven't heard from Steph. (call me) I don't want to leave Sunday night because I'm usually all sleepy after work and want an afternoon nap. I thought about leaving when I wake up but then I'd be driving all through the night and I've got to pick up my sister too -- shes riding with me (I'm gonna pop a klonopin to try and ease some of that out. Been saving it for a special occasion such as this). There's no way she'd be ready to go at 3AM (or technically ANY hour of the day, but at least let me pick a reasonable one so I can argue about it anyway). So I think I'll leave at 5am -- hit Birmingham by 7 and get her, drop off Jack, run by dads, then off to Florida. Hopefully I'll get to Panama City around 1 - 2 so I can still enjoy the day :)

    Don't even kid yourselves and think I'm going a week without internet. HA. Hell, I'm taking my camera, so I'll probably post more. But just so you can visualize where I am, I have drawn up this adorable little map:

    Isn't that cute? See the little blue beetle? That's me! See how much I love my 3 blog readers? *group hug*

    Schools Out!

    This semester is over! I took my last final today. See, that's me studying hard in the picture there. What a relief -- and what a busy day! I got up early to cram before meeting with the nurse about my prescriptions. She still thinks I have sleep apnea. Apparently she can't google "effexor withdraws" of "stepping down medication" but she can google sleep apnea. She had loads of papers for me to read -- and she even made me take a test to gauge my risk of having it.

    So I got to take the "you might have sleep apnea test." Mind you, I could have been using this time to study. Out of 40 points, I scored 3. No, I'm not making that up. The only reason I scored 3 was because one of the questions was how likely are you to fall asleep if you lay down to rest in the afternoon. Well, if I'm laying down to rest in the afternoon then I'm taking a nap. There's no difference to me.

    Nurse thinks I'm lying because I'm afraid to admit I have it or something. I don't know how to explain it to her. Yes, I want to sleep lots. No, I don't fall asleep randomly while talking to other people. My bed is comfortable and sometimes life isn't as grand as I would prefer. I have nothing to do and there's nothing good on TV -- I'm taking a nap. And no I don't want to get out of bed to start my day -- my day might suck. And when something bothers me -- I'd rather just turn out the lights and hop in bed and maybe when I wake up it will be better. But no, I've never fallen asleep while eating, driving, talking, or taking a shower.

    Anyway, after that test, I had to take my last final! I'm done! Woo!

    And I was going to post about the millions of errands I had to do today which had me running all over town. The pharmacy was out of paxil. The bookstore wouldn't buy my books back. And I went to the store that specifically has milos tea sweetened with splenda, only to forget to buy the tea. Oh, and I cleaned out my fridge today too. But I'm done with summer semester and too happy about that to talk about the other stuff.


    Something to think about.

    I just got this email from -- I thought she might be insulting my cat-lady-in-training-status until I saw the subject: "With every inches of your dick your popularity grows with extremely high speed. That’s why you should try Penis Enlarge Patch!" And you know, I'm not very popular -- and my dick could use a lot of help. Maybe she's right. There could be a direct correlation between my dick size and my popularity. I shall ponder this while I am in the shower.


    You know, now that I live alone I can listen to the radio as loud as I want. Well, really I respect other peoples rights too much to really go too loud (neighbors). But I just realized... The neighbor on the right moved out yesterday and the one on the left is in California.

    Oh this means I can bust the speakers. Awesome.

    *Over an hour later* Man, sometimes late at night I just start listening to music and I find it so hard to stop. I just scroll through my library and remember the feelings. I always seems to associate music with particular times in life -- instances -- occurrences. I can remember being there... and this song was playing. I remember everything -- I remember what I was thinking, what I was doing, where I was going, exactly how I was feeling -- I remember the smell -- the crisp air... And I could listen for hours.

    Nickleback - How You remind me -- driving to Jeff state, turning at the red light past the dairy queen about to cut through the police dept special entrance at way over the speed limit like I did every morning -- on the way to calculus...

    Nickleback - just for you - sunny and crystal are in the backseat -- we're on our way home from a volleyball game -- it's late, dark already -- I'm talking about him -- it's cold, fall

    Nickleback - too bad -- Brians in the car -- passenger seat -- he loves this CD -- 2 am -- we just got off work -- Target -- I'm giving him a ride home

    RHCP - otherside - driving down the parkway -- on the way to a bball game

    Nickleback - Someday - moving to huntsville -- I'm in the civic on 65 -- talking to dad on the cellphone and telling him where to turn

    RHCP - scar tissue - parkway HS bathroom -- sunnys crying, I don't have any asprin

    Lifehouse - breathing & sick cycle carousel - I'm driving down that road -- I can't say where - i'm learning where everything is -- I want to live here someday -- I'm happy here... this memory makes me sad

    jewel -- hands -- my brothers truck -- hes driving -- dads mad again

    verticle horizon - you're all I want -- the old house -- before we declared bankruptcy -- in the office -- cindys doing homework and wants me to go away -- the office always had such a distinct smell -- from the old computer that I would play hunt-the-wompus-on -- and the office chair. I loved the office chair.

    Third Day - your love o lord -- shes drunk and throwing things -- moms crying -- shes crying -- im crying -- im on the floor with my back against the door so she can't leave -- my radio in my rooms on... offerings -- i hate this

    Third Day - she sings in riddles - driving to church in springville -- half an hour away -- interstate -- wearing my linin suit -- I hope im not late

    Third Day - give - RGIS. Hate this job -- the suns not up -- where the hell am i anyway? I wrote down the instructions on a yellow tag in the glovebox

    Santana - smooth -- monica sunny and crystal in the back seat -- on the way to school -- we're late for practice -- we went to get Hawaiian shaved ices after school -- rips gonna be pissed

    Dont worry be happy -- the old house -- I was very little -- singing from my nook with my head between the stairwell bars -- moms cooking dinner downstairs.

    cake - comfort eagle -- he can't believe I like cake -- why not? "Everyone loves cake." "No they don't." "Well I like cake."

    Billy Don't be a hero - the old record player -- Jennifers and me sitting in front of the old record player -- I love this record -- it's got all the great hits

    Corey Taylor - bother - josh. I'm on the deck at moms

    Creed - higher - Kevin

    Nickleback - figured you out - HA can't post that one ;)

    eastmountainsouth - you dance - pure misery and angst LOL I remember it perfectly.

    Hmmm... that one ruined the fun -- no more music tonight.

    The internet changed the world

    It wasn't that long ago that we didn't have the internet. Now look at it. I spend more time clicking things than I spend talking to real human beings. Seriously. And it just occured to me another thing it has changed: "looking up."

    I know, obvious -- right. But I'm not talking about how we look something up -- I'm talking about what we look up. Years ago, things were looked up in books, journals, maybe magazines. These take time and money to publish -- therefore they were always slightly behind. You could look up things like old presidents when your mom took you to the library for your school project. Now, however, we have... the internet.

    I just looked up what the hell they're singing on the new Jeep commercial. All I could understand was that it was something about jeeps on New York streets. Apparently this is from a song called "Steady Bounce" by someone called KRS-One. He's saying something close to "steady bouncin' the jeeps on the New York streets."

    Now tell me, how could I have possibly looked something like that up 15 years ago?

    Thought Trains

    So I did the beauty day relax thing -- sleep long and well -- woke up nice and refreshed (that sleep apnea must have phases). I did a lovely green avocado (painful) face mask. Followed that up with hair treatments and a lovely soapy shower.

    Now I'm going to toss all that aside and go swim in the pool that is way over chlorinated and probably unsafe (the filter hasn't been on in weeks from what I've seen -- at least the waterfall hasn't been on and I'm pretty sure thats part of the filtration system).

    Who cares -- its 95 fucking degrees and sooo humid.

    I'm celebrating being done with all but one class for this semester (still 3 or 4 more semesters to go LOL). Of course the class I'm worried about won't be over till Friday (Algorithms). But I nailed a A after my final yesterday in Java. Speaking of, here's a hint for future CS majors: Don't wait until the day it's due to write your first GUI in a new language. It doesn't matter if you know exactly how to do it and think it'll take an hour -- I mean you already wrote the hard part of the program! Wrong. Let me tell you about my Java final:

    The hard part of the program had been written -- that was already due. All we had to do to finish it up is give it a GUI. (Graphical user interface for those who might actually not know -- which I feel like I'm implying you're stupid by pointing that out -- but then CS majors love their TLAs (three-letter-acronyms) so pretty much everything is three letters and I forget which ones are common knowledge and which aren't). So I got to the lab because I don't have the proper software on my own computer and pull out my disc of the program we already did. This program will just need top be tweaked to create the final program -- right -- simple. No.

    It took me an hour and a half to get the program that was already written and had run fine last weekk to work. I was furious. The people who run the labs have them set up so stupid. And I got the lab supervisors who everyone always says can help to help -- they didn't know anything. He didn't know a single thing about java. So I was like -- well who can fix this? They PAY YOU to be able to fix this. So he had to call in another lab tech -- who took half an hour to get there and still couldn't fix it. Again, this is a program that is already complete and running -- it worked FINE a few days ago on these exact same computers. So literally it was 2 hours before I could even begin trying to get the GUI and action-listeners to work. Which of course wasn't nearly as easy as I thought it would be. And in the end I couldn't get it to repaint the window and I just turned it in anyway. But I still made an A for the class! Woo! I GOT AN A!

    I was going to go to the pool, wasn't I?

    Olives: Pass 'em on

    When I made my first eBay purchase -- I became addicted. I bought all sorts of nifty things from eBay -- hell, I even bought the infamous blue guitar that I can't play. It was just so addictive...

    Well, now the same thing has happened... with FreeTrader. It's a spin off of Freecycle -- only with money or trades. People post something they're trying to get rid of or something they are looking for. This is where I got the super-comfy aderondack chair on my balcony. Today I got a case of olives. I don't even like olives.

    They were a great deal though! A whole case of olives for 12 dollars. Who can pass that up? I may not like olives, but everyone else in my family loves them. So now I have a case of olives in my trunk. It's the blue guitar all over again.

    Apparently this woman ordered the case off of eBay -- shes an olive lover. But these are a gormet cooking variety and they were too strong for her tastes -- so she put the rest of the case up on HuntsvilleTrader and I picked them up. And I'm now going to pass them on. They're the great traveling olives. I've got 10 jars of organically grown small brown alberquina olives. Steph claimed 2 of the jars -- the rest will go to my family. It'll be a nice treat for mom when I get to Florida and give her a ton of olives -- mom loves olives.

    Good Day!

    My asshole neighbor is moving out -- as I type this! You know, the one with the huge dog that barks all the time -- the one I can hear talking on his phone all the time -- the one who threatens to kill the dog on a regular basis -- he's moving! He got kicked out because of the dog. Yes, I constantly complained about that dog -- for one, I had damn good reason. For two, the dog was at least 3 times the max weight limit on pets. And they never took it out -- they just let it out on the balcony to do it's business... and they never cleaned up his business so it smells horrid.

    He's also getting sued. I only know this because he uses those damn Nextel phones that everyone keeps at max volume. Newsflash: cheap electronics carry very well. Cheap radio -- you can hear it through walls. Same with those damn phones. I can hear his phone conversations even if I'm trying to watch TV. He's very mad about being sued. Hey, gossip is fun.

    And by this afternoon, I'll be done with all but 1 final. Woo! I'm about to head off to school to finish up my last program and cement an A in this class. It's been so long since I made an A!

    Happy Tuesday!

    Jack blends easily into his natural environment

    Don't you love those white-text-on-black label-maker labels? Yes, you do -- everyone loves them. Well look at Jacks collar -- it's just like I slapped a label on the little shit! Isn't that the cutest thing ever? Yes, it is. It's got his name and my cell phone number in case he gets lost. His old collar was a thin leather one which was rubbing off his hair on his collar line. I had to get a new one anyway -- why not get a special embroidered one? I mean I'm already crazy cat lady and every scoffs at the amount of toys I buy him -- why NOT special order a collar? Exactly.

    I'm posting this to show Steph. Steph might watch him for me while I'm in Florida. You'd think that with as antisocial as I seem to be, I wouldn't be able to find anyone to watch such a misbehaved little cat, but you'd be wrong. I've got three offers to watch him -- everyone loves Jack. I feel so bad about leaving him -- I don't want him to think I'm abandoning him -- plus I really don't want him to get pissed at me and pee on my bed as revenge. Some cats do that, you know. I can leave him at moms in Birmingham where one of moms friends will watch him and the other pets (she moved into my old bedroom at moms -- long story. Mom was very distraught about actually allowing someone to live in my room -- I mean I'm her baby, that's MY room. I had to tell her that I would be angry if she used that as an excuse -- and I had to promise her repeatedly that not having a room wouldn't keep me from visiting -- I can sleep on the couch.) This would be good because Birmingham is on the way -- plus Jacks stayed at moms house lots so it's not a new place. And Jack loves moms dog Bonnie.

    "He'll be fine -- he'll have Bonnie and Mena to play with."
    "Mena doesn't play with Jack -- she hates him."
    "But that doesn't mean Jack doesn't play with her."
    "She hisses at him."
    "He stalks her, pounces at her, and keeps right on running -- he loves it."

    Another plus about this is that after Florida, I'll be spending a few days in Birmingham (on the couch). So Jack would be there and I'd be there -- that's good. My neighbor has also offered to watch him. I'm not going to do that though because then he'd be here by himself all day and she'd just stop in to feed him. Jack HATES being by himself. The third option is Steph. I jokingly told her that she could watch him for me while I was on vacation. Surprisingly, she loved the idea. She's even willing to drive down here and pick him up -- and then do it again to drop him off. While mom's house seems like a better option, Steph would give Jack lots of attention and play time. She also knows already that Jack likes to do things like stalk you and randomly bite your ass when you walk around a corner. He doesn't mean anything BAD by it...

    I'll have to think about it. I never would have though Steph liked him enough to WANT to watch him. Hey wait, dude, you won't come down here for me and mexican food but you'll come down twice if you get to steal my cat? That's so wrong.

    Anyway -- good excuse to post another picture of the cat:

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