Are you just TRYING to insult me?

So when I talked to my dad last weekend, he mentioned that he might come up to visit me this week. Awesome! The only person who ever comes to visit me is mom -- the rest of the family just whines about how I never want to see them or talk to them (even though I'm the one always going to them -- and they wont even return my fucking phone calls -- no, I'm not exaggerating on that). And I've only asked dad up a million times cause you have to act like that with him. If my therapist read that sentence shed want to slap BTW, and I totally understand her point. So dad thinks I hate him and never want to see him -- even though he doesn't even call me or return my calls or my emails -- and even though hes RETIRED and has nothing better to do, he won't come see me. Well this was bad enough BEFORE but now...

So I call yesterday to see when hes coming up. He already did, but he didn't stop in because he didn't want to be late getting home. Apparently dads been coming to Huntsville a few times each week (take a moment to digest that) -- riding his second new motercycle up here to see his friend. I told mom about this, and she confessed that she knew but she didn't want to tell me so I wouldn't get my feelings hurt. But what makes it even WORSE -- the friend he comes up here to visit, apparently ALL THE TIME -- lives one road over from me. My dad literally has to pass my place every time he comes up.

Did I mention that my dads never visited me in the 3 years I've lived here? He's come up to help me move -- and to tell me that he didn't support my surgery but had to be there in case I died -- but never to see me or have lunch or something. Apparently his daughter isn't worth stopping to say hi to -- no, not a detour -- just STOPPING and taking half an hour to say hey, how are you?

Are you just trying to hurt my feelings?

This is the LAST straw. I'm so fucking pissed. Do you know how much my family guilt trips me on living up here? They all want me to move back to Birmingham -- they think I'll be happier there. They think I'm lonely and need to be back with them. Of course they're worried about me being lonely -- but not enough to call me, or return my calls, or return my emails, or even call to say they got the card I sent.

Well fuck that bullshit. I'm tired of it. Like 3 psychologists have told me that this is bullshit -- but I try anyway. Well now I'm pissed.

Next time ANYONE mentions my lack of contact with them, I'm going to just go off.

Do you KNOW how many times my dad tries to guilt trip me about never visiting -- even though I visit all the fucking time. I mean I know I'm ranting here, but do you understand what I'm saying here? I'm saying that every time I've talked to him for three years he tells me that I hate him and never want to talk to him -- literally he says that every time -- not hint it -- says it. Even though I visit him all the time and tell him to visit me all the time -- AND HES BEEN DRIVING PAST MY APARTMENT MULTIPLE TIMES A WEEK FOR HOW LONG? And not once has he taken 5 minutes to say hello to me? WHAT THE FUCK?

Hi, NEWSFLASH to my family: I'm not moving back to Birmingham. EVER. I know you're sitting there waiting on me to fail and come crawling back -- but EAT IT. When I move across the fucking country your never going to get to see my ass -- and you better start returning my phone calls -- or I guess I'm just gonna be dropped from the family -- cause I'm tired of the guilt trips and breaking my back when no one but mom even puts an ounce of effort into keeping in contact with me.


Blogger Lemming Leader said...

You're right. Thats pure bullshit. Don't take it anymore.. I realize it's your family but if they are going to be like that.. You really don't need them. It's hard enough to be on your own (and honestly I think your doin a damned good job of it) without everyone else trying to drag you down.

Maybe them waiting like damned sharks for you to fall is just what you need to succeed though.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One that works rather well for me is "Gee dad, the roads go in both directions" or "So when did they make the roads go only one way in Birmingham?" And then there is always, "does your phone not dial out?" You can always try telling your dad that it's his turn. I get it too. Probably not a kid in the world that doesn't get that from his or her parents, even 30 something year old kids with spouses and children. Get used to it. Seems to me they will be seeing much less of your ass regardless, getting all skinny and all. :)

6:30 AM  
Anonymous Leah said...

hells yeah. you're spot on. communication goes both ways.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Its not so wasy to say something simple like that with my father. We are not talking about a person with normal mental processing. He'd be hurt and disown me -- and I keep feeling bad because he DID buy me the Beetle.

He was supposed to come have lunch with me today (again...) but it's 3pm and no word. Guess not. Glad I didn't acutally wake up before noon and have a shower cause I was counting on that.

2:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've got one even better.... my mom lives less than a mile from my home and in the 10 years that I've lived there, she has only graced me with her presence 2 times. Two. In 10 years.
I hear your story and I am sorry for your stupid family.

8:27 AM  

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