Addendum: To all the lovely visitors (hi!) who can’t stand to hear anyone even THINK of badmouthing Apple: Please see the addendum at the bottom
That’s right folks, it’s over -- possibly forever. Fuck Apple**. In fact, fuck Steve Jobs too because I want to make it personal -- but especially fuck Apple and their fucking “Apple Care” that I paid three-hundred-fucking-dollars for. I’m sorry if cursing offends you, I’m just slightly irked at the moment. Why? Well, let me tell you:
So I sent my baby (Powerbook G4) in for repairs… again. The Ethernet port is loose and the fan still doesn’t work even though they said they fixed it last time I sent it to them. Yet the thing will still reach 150 degrees without even considering turning the fan on – so sure, if you consider having a silent fan that never turns on a solution to the problem, then yeah it’s fixed. What the hell do I know – maybe Apple figured out how to magically cool the computer components without it actually cooling off because they’re that awesome
Anyway, so I sent it in for repairs under my lovely Apple Care extended warranty. I got it back yesterday. Yay! My babys home! But there was something fishy about it. For one, it just didn’t feel
right. Say what you will, but it didn’t feel like my baby (perhaps it was just because it was cool from being turned off and stored in a backroom for a few days when I’m used to it being 150 degrees in my lap. That’s alright though – I know it’s mine because the finish on the latch has worn off. So I look over the paperwork – they replaced the fan – awesome. Hey, how about that Ethernet port? Oh wait… they didn’t touch that. Nice – now I’m gonna have to send it back. But that can wait because when I have internet installed at my new place, I’m gonna be wireless anyway so who needs an Ethernet port? Let’s boot it up!
Wait. WHAT THE FUCK?
It boots like the first time it’s ever booted. And not only that – but it’s booting into fucking PANTHER. 10.3? You’ve got to be kidding me! Oh look – it’s welcoming me to Apple. Somehow this little show that was so cool and exciting the first time I saw it is now infuriating me to the point that tears are welling up in my eyes and I think I’m starting to twitch. They erased my hard drive.
THEY ERASED MY HARDDRIVE!
Wait what? Since when does replacing a fan mean you have to erase my entire fucking hard drive? Oh wait – maybe they backed up my data. Lets not jump to conclusions here. So I go through the entire Panther
setup process and open up my home folder… nothing. It’s gone. All of it. ALL OF IT. Everything is gone – three years of my life is GONE.
Think I’m over exaggerating? NO I’M NOT. All my music is gone – All of it! I’m going to try to get it off my iPod but with the success rate I get trying to get stuff from my iPod to Audioscrobbler I’m not going to count on it. In fact I’m afraid to even try because if the computer wipes the iPod then I don’t have any of it in any form. 10 gigs of music is gone. And some of that I just CAN’T get back. I’ve spent over 200 dollars buying music from iTunes over the past three years and you can’t get that stuff back. They won’t let you redownload it and it’s not like I made copies. It’s gone. Gone. Bye-bye.
My pictures. All the pictures I’ve taken for 3 years – gone. They were all digital – no hard copy exists. Pictures of friends I’ve had that I will probably never see again – gone. In fact everything but the fading memories of those relationships is gone. All the IM archives – all the emails and pictures from trips I’ve taken – gone. All my Third Day pictures gone. All my family pictures gone. All of them. Gone. Forever. They’re not coming back. Ever.
My programs. All of them. Not even just the programs but the entire fucking operating system. 10.4 is gone. Photoshop, Microsoft Office, Virtual PC, Windows XP, tons of compilers, all the programs I have (oh wait, make that HAD) for school, Ecto, Quicktime Pro… who knows what I can’t remember this second – give me a moment BECAUSE I’M IN SHOCK. But Karen, don’t you have the serial numbers for all those programs? Just reinstall them.
Yes, I have the serial numbers… I have them on my computer… OH WAIT – THEY WIPED THAT.
All my art… I don’t keep any art – I give it away to people who will look at it and appreciate it. I only keep pictures. So all of my drawings, sculptures, paintings, stained glass, and what-not – I have no record of it. No portfolio to show. And hell the photoshop work – well yeah, naturally that’s gone too.
I can’t believe it. I’m just – shocked. I kinda want to cry. It’s all gone. And not gone as in “I’m gonna freak out until I get it back gone” – no, it’s totally gone and not coming back. I have a blank computer with an out of date operating system.
It’s kinda hard to express how I feel at the moment. Most of you will never understand – and of those of you who do understand, you’ll just say I’m an idiot for not having back ups.** You – yes you, if I took your computer and wiped it right now with no warning – are you completely backed up? And if you are well then fuck you I wasn’t and this isn’t about you.
Hey Apple, thanks for the heads up. Thanks for calling me to make sure I had a backup of the past three years of my life before you decided that it was necessary to WIPE MY HARD DRIVE SO YOU COULD INSTALL A FUCKING FAN. Jesus Christ – why did you even need to wipe it anyway? And with all that space you have, you couldn’t spare a few gigs for 30 minutes to perhaps backup some of my shit? YOU COULDN’T CALL ME?
Gone. It’s all so gone. My mind keeps jumping back and forth between the music and the programs and the pictures. The pictures. The pictures of people I’ll never see again. The trips that I took. Only memories. I have a bad memory as you well know.
I mean… why’d they have to wipe it anyway?
So yeah, I’m back at the beginning of my Mac experience. The beginning where I had no programs and just a stock computer. No cute penguin desktop – the drive isn’t even named MRDD anymore because Izzy thought it was funny to call my computer and me retarded. There’s no media on it. No pictures. No music. The dock is all ugly and in the wrong place. And I’ve no desire to fix it. None. I’m going to turn it off and put it away in its case until I get internet next month and can somehow start over with it. I’ve no desire to play with it or be reminded of all that is lost. It’s no longer my baby – it’s just a cold metal laptop that won’t even meet my needs until I round up all the programs I need again.
Holy shit I’m actually going to cry because they erased my computer.
So yeah, that whole wonderful blind mac-is-awesome faith that I once had going is gone. I don’t know if it’s this experience in particular or if it’s a general de-mystification that’s been building, but for some reason it’s been wiped from my soul in the same way everything was wiped from my hard drive. And just to let you know what I mean: Mom was going to get a mac when she could afford it. I mean it’ll be great for her – she’s no good with computers so I think she’d love the simple elegance of the operating system. But she can’t afford it right now – their cheapest laptop is a thousand dollars. And we were waiting – but I think I’ll just tell her to go ahead and get a PC. You can get a PC that is just as fast for a third of that price. And yeah, it’ll be a piece of shit and worthless in 2 years – but then we can buy another one and still be cheaper than if we had bought an ibook. And hell, maybe by then someone will have hacked the OS or Apple will have released the OS to run on a PC anyway. Right now I honestly have lost the reason why we’ve been saving up the money to get an iBook. Why have I made her wait so long on getting a computer? What makes that laptop so worth a thousand dollars when she barely knows how to use a computer anyway?
I’m really upset about this. Kinda angry but more hurt. It’s like my house burned down and insurance thinks that just building the house back will fix it. It won’t ever be the place that it was. Ever. And some things can’t be replaced. It was just data – 1s and 0s – but at the same time, it was more than that.
I’d post a picture of me flipping off Apple, but really I’m more sad than angry at the moment and that would require using the computer which I’ve absolutely no desire to touch.**Addendum: Of course I've heard of back ups and yes this is my fault and not Apples and yes there is a clause that states they aren't responsible for lost data or I'd be raising hell with them. This is why there's a little sentence in that long rant that went a little something like this:
"Most of you will never understand – and of those of you who do understand, you’ll just say I’m an idiot for not having back ups."
This is a cautionary tale for us idiots out there who don't have back ups. I'm an idiot -- I've never denied this.
Another Addendum: This is a personal rant on a personal blog written while I’m kinda upset. I bitch when I’m happy so you can be damn well certain that I’m gonna bitch about this. No it’s not Apples fault and I never said I hated Apple -- I said my blind lust for them is gone. They're still better computers.