Funniest China Moment EVER.

I'm moving out tomorrow and God just proved that He loves me and that he blessed me with a dark sense of humor that he totally supports. Steph was just here and we took my Beetle for a spin to see my new place. So we were back here sitting in the living room (in my new 5-dollar chair) when we hear a knocking in the back of the apartment. Just a gentle knocking that we didn't even hear at first. I thought she might be knocking on my bathroom door thinking I was in there but then Steph suggested that she was stuck in the bathroom. Well, I'm just to cynical to think that something that wonderful would happen to me so we went down the hallway to see what was up.

The bitch broke the door knob and was trapped in her bathroom. Like the door knobs just hanging there. I swear this has made more than my week -- no, month at least. That's the funniest damned thing I've seen in like my two years of living here. And not only was she locked in a tiny room with nothing but a toilet, but she didn't even yell for help. Get this: ...she just gently knocked on the door.

Please take a moment to savor this in your mind as the telling will never come close to the real thing. Take a moment to play this out in your mind. It's worth it.

So I'm crying and red faced trying to keep my laughter silent -- as is Steph. We had to call 911 (who still hasn't shown up). I'm so glad that I wasn't the only one seeing this because it was just too damn funny to be true. This is something someone makes up to tell at parties. And her quiet broken english from behind the door was priceless. PRICELESS. "I-a I hinkth de a yockha might be borhen" No shit Sherlock HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I swear I'm still crying just thinking about it. I couldn't even speak to tell her someone was on their way.

Oh thank you lord for blessing me with this -- for this is a story I will be able to tell and laugh about for at least 50 years. Everyone I know from hence forth shall be told this story. Thank you. Amen.

And yes, we took pictures while laughing our asses off outside of the door behind which a meek foreigner who can't speak English was trapped and waiting patiently to be set free. Oh if this was a movie -- this is the scene that everyone would quote and talk about afterwards. There is no way to convey how much this has amused me.

And On my last day as a resident of South East, I can honestly say that living here has been a trip. I had a lot of shitty roommates and 2 good ones. And lots of hilarious moments I'll remember for the rest of my life. Me & Steph got to see China lock her self in the bathroom. Nothing this funny has happened since I was laying on the bed talking to Meredith when the entire bed collapsed. There are some hilarious life experiences that will only be shared by the people too poor to afford better accommodations. Let us be thankful.

3 Comments:

Anonymous steph said...

this still makes me laugh

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Sir Josmould Herringpole said...

And here am I laughing at you because you obviously don't understand what a culture difference is. This is partly because modern North America (Canada excepted of course) doesn't have a culture worth speaking of. You even managed to crush the culture of the people who owned the land before you arrived. Much to the shame of us that remained here in the UK and elsewhere.

This laughing response you had - let me try to explain. Chinese people are on the whole far more polite than most Americans will ever be. To demonstrably yell and shout isn't part of the Chinese culture generally - revolutions excepted here, whereas Americans seem 'blessed' with a gene specifically for this. So, this juxtaposition is what is causing you this infantile reaction of laughing. When you are a bit older you might be able to look back and realise that this episode was mildly amusing at the very most, and may actually cause you a little embarrassment if we are really lucky.

Maybe in hundreds of years time, when the US has a proper history, and just maybe a proper culture to go with it, it's inhabitants may decide that they would like to fully join the rest of the world in all it's wondrous diversity. Until such a time, I suggest they stay within their own borders and learn to stop yelling, get some humility, and let everyone else get on with things without interference. Incidentally, when you do decide you'd like to join in with the rest of the world, you might find that the dominant power is (oh, the irony) - China. Who'll be laughing then?

And no, I don't claim that the UK is perfect in every way. The difference is that we know it isn't.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Um hi, Mr Holier-Than-Tou Josmould Herringpole,

I didn't laugh because of the culture difference. Had this been some stranger, I'd have felt very bad for them. This isn't a culture clash as much as a funny-as-fuck-someone-I-absolutly-loathe-is-locked-in-the-bathroom-moment.

And jesus christ you sound like an asshole. Please stay out of and away from my country... forever.

1:22 PM  

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