Because I'm up anyway.

So I'm still up for this freaking woot off over at Now its a freaking keyboard that no one wants to buy but could you all please just buy it so we can see the next item so it can be over and I can go to bed? I mean I can't sleep while it's a freaking woot off. What if the next item is a toaster oven for 20 bucks -- I would be all over that! Or maybe another radar detector -- or something for my new car -- or god only nows what low priced and maybe refurbished item will be next that I HAVE to have.

So I figured I'd take this opportunity to tell you about the police dispatcher school I'm going to be going to next week. There's two issues with this. First, I'm gonna be in Decatur all day so I'll be missing class. They're gonna pay me for 8 hours at least per day and they'll write me an official excuse or whatever for class. And at first I was all "I can't miss class!" But then I realized that I skip class all the time anyway and at least I'll be getting paid for it. I was also previously told that I wouldn't have to do this until I had been there for somewhere between 6 months to a year.

Ohh new woot. Looks like walkie-talkies. I don't need walkie-talkies.

Anyway so now they're all "hows tuesday for you?" Apparently this class just showed up and they figure hey -- lets send the girl who fucks up all the 10-71s -- shes a keeper!

So after next week, I'll have a huge paycheck because I've been working my ass off sitting over there doing NOTHING while T plays Zelda on his Nintendo DS. AND I'll be officially licensed to look up all your criminal histories at will! Well, ok, so I'm not allowed to do it without authorization -- but the fact is if I really wanted to, I could totally look up all sorts of shit about you -- HA HA! Of course I could do that now... but next week I'll have semi-permission from the FBI. Ooooooo be impressed. I suppose I still can't tell you all the juicy gossip I get at work though. That sucks.

Still no new woot. Hurry up, people -- you know you want to buy those walkie-talkies.

Oh and if you heard something like this over the police radio the other day:

"10-71" "10-9 10-blah blah blah" "Oh he's just making fun of you now *snicker*" "shut up!" *pushes button* "10-22 YOU KNOW I MEANT 10-70" "10-4" "tag comes back to a _________ blah blah blah..." *T points frantically on the screen* "... On a ummmm 1997 ... KAWA? What the fuck is a KAWA?" *buttons still down* "Kawasaki" "Kawasaki? How the fuck am I supposed to know that? ... 1997 Kawasaki black in color expires 10/06" *buttons still down* "current" " oh. current" "negative 29's" "yeah and negative 29s"

Don't worry -- lives weren't in danger -- that was just me. Fucking up. A lot. Ok, so I'm exaggerating. Kinda. Sorta. Maybe.

I was so horribly embarrassed. I swear everyones going to think I'm a total dumbass. A dumbass that the holy saint we know only vaguely as "steph" sent down from the heavens but who could not live up to the standards set by the all holy -- everyones favorite dispatcher -- the all mighty steph. I swear to god -- why would you leave a job where everyone loved you that much?


Anonymous steph said...

cause im jsut cool like that ;)

7:14 PM  

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