Mmmm we finally have some controversy on this little blog of mine.

Before reading this post, I urge you to go over this post. Well, actually that was a horribly rambling post -- I'll just slice out the relevant part for the lazy:
"... I picked up a book on how to control men the other day and decided to go through it on my break. Apparently to get and control a man you are: 1, not to wear makeup. 2, no cursing. 3, be absolutely still during sex (you might ruin his rhythm). 4, accept that he is going to cheat on you and it's good for your relationship -- don't make a big deal of it (no, seriously -- it said that). There were actually a lot of things, but that's all I can remember. I'd say that it was so obvious that this book was written by a man except for that whole "don't move during sex" thing he had going on for an entire chapter. " ...

... "Link to the book itself -- Check out the reviews: 

"I've been married for almost 20 years and my husband disagrees with 95% of the book. Oh and by the way, he loves me in short skirts, make-up, lipstick, perfume and all!"

"After defining control, C. E. Cost jumps straight into the secrets of treating men inconsistently (which I read as being manipulative and playing games), instructions on how to sex your man up (even if you had to fake your own satisfaction--oh and you can't move in some positions so you don't throw off your partner's rhythm), and a few of the vanity issues revolving around a woman's appearance. While some of the things made me raise an eyebrow a time or two, most of them just made me continue to ask myself if that's what men really want.""
Today, this random meaningless comment on the book was responded to by someone claiming to be the author himself:
Hello Ladies: I am the author of the book - The Secrets How To Control A Man. Let me first say, that the book has helped women across the country improve their relationships with men. I have heard countless success stories from women who actually read the book and applied it. Countless men have also thanked me for the book because the quality of their relationship with their woman had improved dramatically. My book has been endorsed by Sister To Sister Magazine, Black Hairstyle Trends Magazine, Black Men Magazine, as well as by psychologists, radio talk show hosts and others. Obviously, my book must make some valid points in order to generate such positive feedback. Furthermore, anyone can take a few quotes out of context and misrepresent the work. This could be done with the Bible, Koran, The Constitution or any written work. I would encourage you to read the entire book first before passing judgement. Finally my book is for women who recognize that they don't have all of the answers and are willing to consider other perspectives and approaches. The key question I have for all of you is: if you applied the techniques described in my book on a man, would they work?

Ohhh how do I approach this...

First, The fact that you are offended by someone who writes a lousy blog that is read by about 10 people is kinda pathetic. Second, I'm not wasting any money on your POS book. If you want me to read it, send me a copy that I can thoroughly pick apart with page-number references. It would amuse me greatly. Third, an endorsement by "Black Hairstyle Trends Magazine" is so lame it's not worth claiming. The only magazine recommendations I'll accept need to be from reputable magazines -- the ones you've listed are not. Also, any book can generate "positive feedback." Have you been to a book store lately? Most of the books there are absolute shit. There is an entire book on the iPod shuffle. And people buy it. It has probably sold more copies than your book and all it is is a book about a music player with 4 buttons that my 4-year-old nephew can use.

I know I don't have all the answers, or even a good fraction of them and I'm willing to consider other approaches... just not yours. If I applied the techniques in your book, would they work? Don't know. I know I'd be considered a terribly bad lay for one thing. I'd also have a relationship built on falsities. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I am not so I can catch a guy like you. And accepting that a man will cheat? What the fuck is that? I will never accept that. Never. That's bullshit. Perhaps they're cheating on "your women" because they find real women with backbones and real personalities to be more attractive. Perhaps they like kinky sex where the women really gets to enjoy it and have real orgasms.

And while I'm on the topic of orgasms -- your book suggests that a woman fake it. First, faking an orgasm is a lie. Second, why should I fake an orgasm? Don't you want to know when you are REALLY pleasing me and know that when I lose myself in ecstasy it is 100% the real thing? How can your sex life improve if you don't know that it sucks? If you can't make a woman cum then thats both your problems -- but its a problem that can be worked on and solved and the sex can get better and better. Having the woman fake it for your ego is just pathetic and an easy out.

And let me tell you, if I had a relationship where I was pretending to be someone I'm not and I'm pretending to be a blow-up doll in bed (sans the makeup, of course -- as you wish), what the fuck am I getting out of it? That's not a relationship and I can guarantee you it wouldn't last long. Your book might work for women who have no life of their own and who seek to marry a rich man -- but for those of us with a twinkle in our eye, a kink in our closet, and desire for a real close relationship with another human being -- well we're all just gonna call your book bullshit and you're going to have to accept that.

Congrats on getting published though -- that's awesome.


Blogger Becki said...


11:20 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Thanks for the support, Becki :)

If I get a book for review and picking apart, I'll forward it on to you so you can pick it apart too.

6:47 PM  
Blogger CECOST said...

Dear Karen:

I stumbled across your 10 person Blogger quite by accident. I found it amusing that all of the women there responded so negatively about a book none of you have read. Since there is only ten of you I obviously am not responding to generate any significant sales. For what it is worth, I have done countless lectures, radio shows, as well as being featured on national television and various newspapers and magazines. But none of that is really relevant. The bottom line is whether the book helps women improve there relationships with men or not. Based on the feedback I have received from women who have actually read my book: The Secrets - How To Control A Man, and applied it to their relationships, 100% have been pleased with the results. I know of at least 4 women who got married as a result of my book. Others have received money and all kinds of things from men after trying out the techniques in my book. I met only one woman who had to choose to leave her man. She found the strength to do this because in my book I encourage women to leave men who are clearly wrong for them. She is very happy with her decision. Perhaps 1% of the women who are negative about the book I have found fall into two categories. A). They did not read the book. B). They read the book, but refused to try the techniques on their man. I am sure that you have heard the expression about leading a horse to a well, but not being able to force it to drink. The same thing applies here. I can not help women who refuse to read my book or to utilize what they learn.

I have heard so many success stories from women who have emailed me, called, or met me at one of my lectures that I could write a book about them. The greatest compliments I have received has been from women who thought they knew everything about men or who were turned off by the word "control", but nonetheless read the book and tried it out and have been happy ever since. I have had women and men who I have never met, come up and hug me because my book has made the quality of their relationships so much better. The fact is, irregardless of what you believe, my book works for women who have the courage to put aside what they think they know and try something different.

In my book I have several chapters on sex, but you chose to focus on one little point which involved faking orgasms. I have not met one women who applied the sexual techniques I give in my book, who have been disappointed with the results. Everyone I have met and I have met hundreds, are all smiles and giddy when they refer to how my book has enhanced their sex life. They not only know how to get their man more excited than ever before, they know more about how to get their man to please them. One woman I met told me that because of my book, she now had four boy friends and she had just cut it down from five. She attributed this to the sexual techniques she learned in my book. What I found most interesting about this woman was that she was not some petite model type, but rather a very voluptuous woman. Another woman needed money from her boyfriend to pay for some trip for her son. Her boyfriend was reluctant until she used the sexual techniques in my book. Needless to say, he gave her all of the money she needed. I have met women who have been married a few years as well as those who have been married over twenty years, and all of them agreed that my book has energized their sex life with their husband.

With regards to faking an orgasm, the fact is when two people are making love, they are suppose to be doing everything to please the other person. This includes hugging, kissing, moaning, talking dirty and so forth. If your man is turned on, but you are not as turned on as he is, why not do everything to help him enjoy the moment. Karen, are you and your female blogger pals, so selfish as to deny your man maximum fulfillment, just because you are not as aroused at that moment? There are many opportunities before, and after sex to instruct a man on what he needs to do to make you cum. The absolute worse thing you can do is act bored in the middle having sex. If a woman does everything in her power to help her man cum, he will enjoy sex with her more and be far more inclined to grant her requests to do those things that will give her multiple orgasms.

By the way, my book is not a POS publication, And No, I am not going to give you a free copy of my book. You can get it on line or in a bookstore. You do not sound like you have any interest in reading my book objectively, which is fine. That is your choice and your loss. My book is for women who are open minded and truly want to find happiness with a man. If you want more details about the book, you can go to my website:

C. E. Cost

4:17 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

And THAT, my friends, is why most comment services have a restriction on comment length.

7:51 PM  
Blogger CECOST said...

Dear Karen:

I took the time to reapond to each of your points and this is your only response??? Often when people know that they are wrong they respond by changing the issue. It is easy to criticize an author's work, but it is fall more difficult to defend those criticisms. You obviously don't belive they you can defend your original statements in light of my repsonses, so in effect you have conceded that you were wrong - thank you!

C. E. Cost

8:35 AM  
Blogger CECOST said...

Dear Karen:

I took the time to respond to each of your points and this is your only response??? Often when people know that they are wrong they respond by changing the issue. It is easy to criticize an author's work, but it is far more difficult to defend those criticisms. You obviously don't believe that you can defend your original statements in light of my responses, so in effect you have conceded that you were wrong - thank you!

C. E. Cost
(typos corrected)

8:39 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Actually, between the two posts, I've already responded pretty thouroughly to each of your "counter points." There's no need to repeat myself -- I could go back and give you line refs to my original critcisms if you like. Actually, that's just me being a smart ass, I'm not going to -- go back and re-read my post for your responses. I've already made it all pretty clear.

And dude, you wrote a book -- not everyone's going to like you book. Live with it.

4:45 PM  
Blogger CECOST said...


I don't expect everyone to agree with everything in my book, but I think it is reasonable to expect that if someone is going to criticize my book, they should have at least least read it! Ideally I would have expectd you to try the techniques out on a man and then comment on whether he responded positively or negatively.

Since you think you know so much you should write a book yourself and allow your ideas to be open to criticism.

C. E. Cost

5:57 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

"and allow your ideas to be open to criticism."

This forum for my opinions is open to criticism -- as you are taking advantage of :)

11:48 PM  
Blogger CECOST said...

Fair enough :)

8:11 AM  

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