Because all that shit about proper nutrition and exercise is apparently bullshit. I KNEW I was paying that nutritionist too much.

Any reader of this blog knows or at the very least suspects that I hope on the scale at least once a day -- it's a compulsive self-defeating (& deflating) act I simply must do. And anyone who has spoken with me knows that I have paused at this particular weight and have declared in my usual the-sky-is-falling way that I will never lose another pound because god hates me. (NOTE: After writing this paragraph in a self-mocking and yet true air, I wonder how anyone can stand me).

So combine that with the despair of the end of the semester which I have royally fucked up and another dwindling bottle of expensive medications I'm gonna have to fill (which I might add, those despairing posts and freaky painting were a direct effect of forgetting to take said medications. I scare MYSELF when that happens) -- and guess what? I've had a few bad days.

So for the past two days, I've read my book and eaten cookies and watched food network. And when I say I've eaten cookies, I don't mean just a few. I mean that I'm pissed that I haven't lost any weight and I got a cute penguin cookie jar that just HAD to be filled with cookies -- so fuck it all I was gonna eat some. I also haven't gone out for a run ...or anything really.

And I shit you not, the scale moved. I jog and take my protein and count everything I eat and the fucker won't move for a month but give me a ton of cookies and self-wallowing and it moves. What the hell is that?

What. The Hell. Is. That.

I swear that when I become a paranoid schizophrenic it will be justified.

(And on a totally unrelated note, Coldplay is singing a Christmas song on Conan as I write this -- and it's good. And last night Rachel Ray was on Jay and I saw them both and I bet Izzy missed them both -- I swear dude, if I had some way to record this shit for you -- between me and the tivo, you'd never miss anything. HA! Conan just starting singing! And he's wearing one of those gawd-aweful tacky christmas sweaters! DUDE! I WISH I was recording this for ME! LMAO. Thats awesome.)


Anonymous Leah said...

same thing for me. Perhaps it's just the exercise catching up? I've been running and eating well and stuff, and the scale doesn't budge. But I take an off day, and the next day the scale is like 4 pounds lighter. WTF is right. I'd say keep it up with the walking, but don't be so anal with counting? Maybe the stress of that is counter-productive.

11:30 AM  

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