My bitter slip of the weekend:

"You get to make a wish."

"My wishes never come true. It's always the same one."


I'm in a stressed kinda mood. I'm behind in school work -- not good considering the semester is over in less than a month. I talked to my mom today -- I asked her if she would help me pay for my effexor this month. She's frustrated that it costs so much. I'm only filling that one -- I'm not gonna fill the allergy meds -- that'd be even MORE expensive. And I mentioned being behind in school and she got even more frustrated and said school is why I'm "THERE."

I'm not used to my mom being hard on me. Really, it just made me feel pretty bad. Shes right though and I know that. And I know that being so behind is my fault. And I know I've been doing poorly here lately. So really I'm feeling pretty stressed and down on myself.

On a brighter note, my 23rd birthday is only a week away. (Of course I'll be at work for it). I made it very clear to EVERYONE (family included) that I'm tried of this forgetting my birthday shit we've had going on for a few years. I was really hurt last year so everyone has been reminded. I feel kinda selfish in that, but hey -- I want them to remember so I'm helping. I don't want them to give me gifts -- just something sweet (preferably a yellow butter cake with butter cream or cream cheese icing -- though it'd have to be sugar free and that's probably not doable). I don't like receiving gifts and such, but I certainly do appreciate being remembered. It takes all of the forethought to put a little note on a calendar and take 5 minutes out of your day to call me. I ask for this just this one day out of the entire year. Even my brother is trying to remember (lord he couldn't remember a date to save his life). I talked to him yesterday and he said "I haven't missed your birthday yet, right?" LOL

Well, I did ask for one present. I asked mom if I could have an electric blanket for my birthday. My apartment gets so cold in the winter -- it'd be nice to not have cold toes this winter ;)

Oh, and I'd like to lose another hundred pounds. I'm asking God for that one.


Anonymous Leah said...

right, so, here's a real comment. you could probably use splenda in your cake to make it sugar free. also, would it be so bad to eat sugar if you had a really, really tiny piece of cake?

happy birthday in advance. hopefully, you'll get to do something. if you don't go home, perhaps catch up on the homework? (think of it as giving yourself a gift or something ;-) I do hope some people remember.

As far as the hundred pounds, well, I have faith in you. Keep up that walking/jogging. I'm getting back on track with that too over here on the west coast. Pretty soon, I bet you'll be able to just worry about those last twenty pounds (that's my beef).

2:47 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Well to be honest, I don't even know. Some things with a tiny bit of sugar don't bother me. Like italian ice -- or just normal foods. But some things make me super sick. Like I bought some sorbet because it's sugar content didn't seem too high from reading the label - I figured I could have just a bit as a treat. It made me sick. For three nights in a row, I've said "oh it was just a fluke -- if I just eat a TINY bit, it won't make me sick..."

The problem is, I want it to have lots of yummy white icing. Mmmmm. I browsed the cake section and I didn't see any sugar free mixes or icings -- looks like it would all have to be made from scratch and splenda.

See, the problem isn't my will power to follow the rule of "no sugar." The problem is how sick it makes me ;) So would a little bit of sugar in the cake be so bad -- I honestly have no idea. I'd have to try it to find out.

9:15 AM  

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