I made a scene at the doctors office today ...and I feel damn good about it.

So I went to the GYN today for my annual checkup. I'm in a great mood today -- I'm having a good hair day, a good makeup day, a good ass day -- plus it's cool enough outside that I got to wear my snazzy new jacket. Oh and the new shirt I bought the other day -- too big. Time to go down another size. Uhuh. So I get in and the nurse is quite nice -- we chatted. I hopped on the scale to do my weight and before she even moved a thing she said -- wow, you must have lost a lot of weight! Thank you thank you, yes I have.

So fast forward to me waiting on the doctor (still clothed). He walks in already asking me questions about pregnancy, medications, blah blah blah. After about 4 questions I finally get to sneak in a "You're not Dr. ______." What is his reply? "No, I'm not" and then more questions. Never does the man introduce himself or explain where my regular doctor is. I also tried to pose a few questions and he wouldn't have any of it -- apparently he is too busy to answer his patients qustions. So then he leaves to let me strip and lay spread eagle naked on a table.

He made me wait entirely too long before his return, BTW. So now it's check-up time. The epitome of discomfort. Seriously, being completely naked, laying on a table and staring at hospital lights while a old unattractive man who you've deemed an asshole sticks a cold metal instrument into your vagina and starts mashing your tummy is -- believe it or not -- incredibly uncomfortable, degrading and slightly violating. And get this:

At this moment -- the exact wrong time -- the worst time, actually -- the man tells me that I need to lose weight. He didn't do this while I was clothed, or even covered up -- he chose the moment where he is shining a light into my probed vagina and I'm spread eagle, utterly naked on a table. The WORST time.

Let's get a few things out of the way before I proceed with this post. First, when my first psychologist told me to lose weight I ended up locking myself in a room for 3 days and crying. Second, I am not one of those idiots who normally gets mad when their doctor mentions their weight. He's your doctor -- his job is to keep you healthy. If your weight is unhealthy, it's his JOB to mention it. That said...

Um. Hello. First, DID YOU LOOK AT MY CHART? How the fuck can this asshole tell me to lose weight when the first column of the first page of my chart tracks my weight which has quite OBVIOUSLY fallen 70 pounds since the beginning of the year. Hey, next time try looking at my chart before seeing me. And jesus christ, can you pick a WORSE time during the appointment to mention that? Seriously, is there ever going to be a WORSE time for a doctor to tell you that? If you have any suggestions -- I'm all ears.

So we finish up, I get dressed and I'm leaving. But no -- I'm not just leaving it at that. I'm not the old me that takes something so inappropriately wrong laying down and goes home and cries about it -- fuck that. So I walk up to where I check out where the receptionist and all the student/residents/interns/nurses/whatever hang out. (BTW, I absolutely love that receptionist). And I ask her where Dr _____ is. She explains why hes not there and I ask her if he will see me next time. I then ask her is this guy ever looks at his patients charts. She informs me that yes -- they are VERY thorough about looking over a patients chart before they see them.

I then proceed to tell them all of the absolute worst time to tell a patient they need to lose weight. By the end of my rendition -- at least two of the resident/student/interns guys are dying laughing (one of them was damn cute too, I should have stopped ranting long enough to get his #). And then I tell them that FURTHERMORE -- I've lost 70 pounds since April. I don't think it's realistically possible for him to expect me to lose faster than that. So maybe next time he should read my chart before he says hello (And I swear that when I finished that sentence a resident spit coffee out of his mouth -- I don't think many people liked that doctor much more than I did).

I then finished it up with a "I don't like him, and I want to redo my patient survey." I swear by the time I walked out of there, every employee of that office was dying laughing.

So I'm proud of myself! Not only did I let it upset me, I took the opportunity to stand up for myself and make everyone (including myself) laugh about it. Score one for me.

BTW, at the office today I was 258 -- blue jeans and all. That's a nice change from 325 in April! I feel good today.


Anonymous Leah said...

go you! That's wonderful. You've got to stick up for yourself when you have a doctor you don't like.

Last year, when my great gyn was on maternity leave, some douchy lady filled in for her. Now, whenever I call for an appointment, I make sure MY gyn will be there, and I specifically request not to have this lady. She was rude and even told me it wasn't her job to do a blood test and see if I have anemia. When I asked my gyn about it at the next appt (I go every 6 months), she sent me down the hall and had blood drawn right away. Thank heaven for the good doctors, and at least we both usually see one.

12:19 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

He also told me I needed to have my cholesterol checked (this was before the exam). Cause you know, that's the GYNs concern... He didn't ask me if I have recently, just told me i needed it checked. I told him I had it checked in May and that it was beyond excellent (which, surprisingly is true). What a fucking asshole.

I seriously think that he just saw me as a fat person. Which really pisses me off. I mean I took the time to make sure that I was all clean and dressed nice and perfectly presentable and all he sees in a fat girl. Fuck you, man.

And I totally get to rant about the obvious fact that he didn't look at my chart. And anyone who wants to stand up for him and say he did -- screw you, I'll scan the damn chart -- I have a copy. It's the first thing you see when you look at it. And if he was concerned about my weight he should have looked at the chart to see if it was a sudden gain or a steady weight -- or in this case, a dramatic drop which he should be concerned about since he didn't know I had gastric bypass.

I'm trying to not let it upset me. In fact I just said a prayer that involved "please help me to not get upset over that" and then I started thinking about it and getting upset. Getting pissed is my defense ;)

I'll be sure to recount it to my regular GYN as well.

And seriously -- even if some skinny girl heard that AT THAT MOMENT -- she'd be upset about it. What if it was you? Seriously -- not pretending you were me -- just you having your regular exam and at that moment he says that -- how would you feel?

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Leah said...

oh, dude, my doctor waits to have the "weight" talk until after the exam. I'm usually still naked, but I've got a little blanket/sheet thingy, and my feet aren't up anymore, so I'm good to go. And her version of the weight talk is nice, since she's a little rolly-polly too, just like me. Basically, it's "keep exercising, and add more in when you can. try and eat some better foods." (except she says it much more tactfully.) but she never tells me to lose weight; she just says I need to keep active and healthy.

he sounds like a douche. don't let it get to you. just make sure you write a letter of complaint to the practice, and ask for a note in your chart to not be seen by him.

7:04 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Hope you don't mind . . . I found your blog using the "next blog" button and read this post - my best friend from college is beginning her residency soon, and I sent her the link because I think more people who are becoming doctors today need to be sensitive to these things like you said. I'm taking it you haven't had any kids yet. It's amazing the rudeness and insensitivity some doctors have for patients - even in their most emotionally charged moments of labor and delivery of God's precious creation, the birth of a child. Oh, well that's just how some of them are. Keep up the great work losing weight! 70 pounds is a lot! Way to go :)

10:03 PM  

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