"I'll buy you a puppy if you want one."

That's what my mother said to me. That's how horribly lonely I am. Isn't that sad?

My mom is such a sweetheart. She knows I'm super lonely and I keep joking that I'm going to steal her Bon to keep me company. (We got Bon as an adult so we didn't get to name her -- her name is Bonnie. Bonnie is not a name any ****k would have ever chosen to name a dog. She's been abused and then abandoned and already has obvious anxiety problems so we don't have the heart to put her through a name change. So we call her Bon Bon and I just call her Bon for short -- she's such a sweetie -- and I don't even really like dogs).

I told her that if I got a dog, it would go from cute to pathetic rather quickly. I'd put it in little hats and post pictures of it on the internet and become one of those people I hate. I know I would. I would gush over it and love it to death and it would become my precious baby.

I don't need a dog -- I need a man.

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