Did something good just happen?

I have now officially rejoined the world of the employed. I am now a "bookseller." First day is Friday, and they are even paying me for the 3 hours I spent doing paper work this morning. Nice, eh?

So yes I went to my interview today -- hives and all. They're really bad today but thankfully they aren't showing on my face this morning/afternoon... yet. I didn't sleep at all last night... again. But at least I can open both my eyes again.

So it went well! I was about 10 minutes late -- and she commented on that -- and yes, I apologized like crazy. Honestly, the reason I was late was that I couldn't find anything to wear. I've only been wearing jeans to class and such and since I had some pants that had been previously too small, I "knew" that I could just wear them. Yeah... apparently the only pants I have that fit are blue jeans. And we aren't talking a "wearable" too-big. You just can't wear dress pants that are 2 sizes too big. Whats sad is that 2 pair of them are nice pants that I purchased on sale and never have worn. They still have tags! What a nice problem. I'm used to not having anything to wear because it's all too tight -- not because it's all too big. That's nice :) I'm going to go through tonight and get rid of all the stuff that's too big - it'll be depressing and exciting all at the same time!

I'm also wearing my new pink shoes today. Yep. I totally bought some pink shoes. I never have had any particularly cute shoes. I never have any money to buy shoes and well, I just never splurge and buy cute ones. These are pink suede -- so cute!

Also on a odd note -- I've lost two shoes sizes. All my socks are too big too. Isn't that strange? I usually wear a size 10 womens shoe -- I even have some 11s. I have extremely flat wide (but totally cute)feet... now they are extremely flat and less wide. I'm now a perfect 9 -- and that was with thick socks.

So I have hardly any shoes, no pants, one proper fitting-bra and very few shirts. I also need lots of new socks. And yet no one can tell I've lost any weight. And don't tell me that's not true because it is -- no one can tell except for my family and I'm starting to think they might just lie to me. I'm just edging to the 50 pound mark. I'm not quite at 50 lost -- but I'm at about 48 and a week shy of 5 months out from surgery. Sure everyone else loses that much in a third of the time, but nothing ever works particularly well for me and 10 pounds a month isn't too bad. I'm scared to death that I won't get anywhere near my goal (which is 160-170). Really, I'm starting to think I won't make that and to have given up so much already, that's a damn depressing thought. And really, if I don't lose it now -- I never will. It's not like I can not lose it with weight loss surgery and exercise then diet it off when I'm 30.

Since April though, I've lost 65 pounds. Man, that's a LOT. And the change in my fitness level is amazing. I'm in better shape now than I was in grade school.

And I got the job I really wanted and some pink shoes too. I should be terribly happy right now... I'm trying.


Anonymous Izzy said...

Hell yeah! It's time to get out and celebrate that news, because you and I both know how freaking impossible it is to get a job at one of these places. You are now officially "one of the chosen few."

6:18 PM  

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