~ Yesterday was a bad day.

~ The day before yesterday was an absolutely superb -- excellent day.

~ My effexor costs more than a car payment. I just saw an ad on TV for Volkswagen where you can get a 2005 convertible Beetle for 200 a month. And to say that it almost made me cry is neither a lie nor an exaggeration.

~ Today I was in lab at 8AM building my very first ever piece of computer circuitry. It was quite exciting -- and no, I'm not being sarcastic. I felt like I was actually DOING something. And it worked -- on the first try. BEAT THAT.

~ I'm so tired of worrying about money. Especially the 250 a month I'm dropping for Effexor. Not knowing where that moneys going to come from or if I'll have it at all is really causing me a great deal of stress. Groceries, gas -- I don't spend anything I don't HAVE to. And there's lots of stuff I want to buy -- and lots of stuff I NEED to buy. All my clothes are getting too big (awesome). My car needs repair. Plus I have a running list of things I will buy as soon as I can.

~ If I had extra money -- instead of buying clothes or some shit I actually need, I'd go visit Izzy (even though he'd probably fall asleep while I ended up watching DVDs).

~ I'm still freaking out about classes. Test time. I'm not prepared. This might hurt.

~ I'm covered in itchy red welts. Still. I itch. A lot. I also look like a leper. If I saw someone scratching a bunch of itchy red bumps, I wouldn't want to go near them -- would you? I'm at a complete loss as to what it is. I'm not even sure if it's an allergic reaction anymore-- maybe I'm just sick or something. And should I go back to the doctor? He told me to go back if the pills didn't work... and I'm out of the pills -- but did they work and it just came back? Did it ever really go away? What can he do -- give me another 30 dollar shot to make it go away for an hour? I can't afford to keep going to the doctor over this.

~ I am about to enter a bubblegum-flavored benedryl-induced hibernation. Don't try to stop me. I just want to not itch -- I'm destroying my skin with all the scratching. You'd think it'd be simple to say "don't scratch." I'm 22, I should be able to just not scratch. Not that simple.

~ If you don't hear from me again in a day or two, call me and wake me up to make sure I've eaten and had a shower. Thanks.


Anonymous Leah said...

the only way I've ever found to not scratch when you have hives is to wear gloves all the darn time. and I mean it. Yes, it look so dorky, but that's all that worked. Even the benedryl rub on gel stuff stopped working after a day.

6:12 PM  

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