It's such a beautiful day & I am miserable

It's perfect weather (well, I prefer colder, but considering where I live, this is great). It's somewhere in the high 70's, the sun is shining, the sky is crystal clear and there's a nice breeze to top it all off. Gorgeous day.

My checking account is negative, my prescriptions cost well over three hundred dollars, I'm covered in itchy hives of unknown origin -- even on the palms of my god damn hands, I didn't get the Barnes & Nobel job, I bombed my DEQ test, The doctor is recommending me for allergy testing which means this could just go on forever cause he can't fix it, My skin hurts -- You heard me, my skin hurts. So does my head. It seems like everyone is mad at me for no reason at all, I'm getting yelled at for things that aren't my fault. I haven't lost anymore weight -- I have to be the only person who can have weightloss surgery and eat next to nothing, have to give up a lot of her favorite foods and STILL not lose weight. And I am incredibly lonely, and not just the ever-constant "I'm all alone in the world" -- the I'm upset and alone and I don't even have anyone who gives a shit that I can call about it. And let me tell you, thats really damn lonely.

It's a gorgeous day outside and I'm inside crying cause everything just sucks. It sucks. And I don't deserve for everything to suck so much. And there should be someone I can go to that would at least try to cheer me up but there's not. And that sucks even more than everything sucking so much.


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