New semester eve

Tomorrow I start Fall semester. Naturally, I'm freaking out a bit if I think about it too hard. I can't just think "tomorrow I've got to go to class, then I'll do some homework." No. I can't look at one day -- I've got to look at the whole semester and the box of crap. What am I going to wear? I've got to meet people. I've got to make a good grade. I've got to do this and that -- and all the weird irrational things I always think.

Since November I've been freaking out about not "meeting people." That's supposed to be my goal. Fuck it, I'm not meeting people and I'm not doing good in my classes either -- I'm switching focus to making good grades this semester. No sitting in the back and making jokes with the people around me. I think I shall actually pay attention and take notes.

See, how I have to think this through again and again? I can't just go do what I have to do... I have to think and worry and stress out.

Good news is that my tuition is paid. My books are bought and I even went out today and got shiny new notebooks.



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