Glow Power!

Glow bracelets make everything better.

Greasy Burgers

I haven't really left my house this week for anything other than work. I've been pretty depressed. I just want to not deal with people and sleep. In fact every lunch break this week, I came home and slept or sat on the couch. And today I had off -- I just stayed in bed all day. And honestly, I haven't had a shower since Wednesday night.

Yeah, I'm kinda depressed about Justin leaving (he moved to LA). Especially because I'm pretty sure I care a hell of a lot more than he does -- which kinda makes it a lot worse.

So Beth and Erin and I are going to go get greasy burgers. And being that I haven't had a shower or shaved and am not publicly presentable, we're not going until 8:00. I have good friends. I'd still rather be in bed but whatever. I know that, rationally, I should get out of my apartment.

Remind me to tell you about my nightmares last night. Two words: killer octopuses.

I have no compass, no carpenters square, no ruler and I'm fucking pissed.

I have no compass, no carpenters square, no ruler and I'm fucking pissed. Why don't I have any of this shit? You'd think as a stained glass artist I'd have the equipment to make some simple fucking geometric angles -- but no, apparently not. God that pisses me off. I need a fucking hexagon. If I had a compass and a straightedge at least I could wing out the pattern (without a ruler, I couldn't really get an exact size but hey, thats all relative). But I do not have a compass.

I could make a compass.

Or I could trace a hexagon off the computer onto a piece of glass and cut it out. Am I too OCD for that though?

More importantly, how did I lose a fucking carpenters square?

I tell you what, I have had a shitty ass week -- I mean REALLY fucking shitty. And I'm finally done with the work week (yay for holidays) so I decide to make a simple fucking candle holder and I don't have the shit I need. And I don't want to improvise, I want a fucking mathematically perfect candle holder or I will not like it.

Dammit.

I'll trace one off the computer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Update:~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bought a compass.

Tickets Suck

This is the police officer currently writing me a ticket. He seems nice.

EDIT: This guy was totally NOT nice! What the fuck? He pulled me over on Memorial for going 61 in a 50 (and on Memorial thats slow -- I was getting passed, believe me). But you know, thats fine -- I was speeding, you need to meet your quota, I deserve a ticket, go for it. BUT, he also wrote me a completely separate (and more expensive) ticket because my insurance card expired A MONTH AGO. I called mom while he was there, got all the current info and it was exactly the same. She just hasn't mailed me the new card yet (which I had no idea was expired anyway). So he wrote me a ticket for not having insurance -- WTF!? He wrote me TWO completely separate tickets. What a fucking dickhole. And then as I was driving away (he left before me 'cause I was busy reading my tickets) -- as I was driving away, he was sitting there writing a ticket to a pickup truck. What the fuck crawled up this guys ass. God that pissed me off.

Oh, and he was also a dick with a bad attitude. Which I don't understand. I mean I pulled over immediately -- had all the info he needed waiting on him. Apologized and answered all his questions immediately. I didn't try to whine my way out of it. He was just an ASSHOLE for no reason. What a dick.

Bluebell

I got to see my bluebell bloom today! The flowers only last a day and usually arent open when i go to work and have fallen off before i return. This morning 4 blooms had already opened!

Carousel

Not only did he not act like i was a goober for wanting to ride the carousel... twice... but he even called the tiger and took pictures. God, im going to miss this man.

Picture booth!

Justin and I headed for the photobooth at Bridgestreet. He won the bet that it would have film this time. Im glad we got some pics of us together.

Current Mood: Sad

Justin, the sexy new boyfriend (technically we mutually decided to downgrade to just dating last week -- long unimportant story -- was mutual, actually made dating more fun) is leaving. He just moved here from Seattle and hasn't been able to make it work. So hes moving again to return to the West Coast.

I know this is whats best for him. In fact, I have more than once told him he should do it. He's not happy here and he's had a shitty life -- he deserves to be happy. And if there's anything I've learned -- any motto I have, its "go for the happy." I do this in my own life -- in big things and in small, if something will make you happy, and you can make that happen -- go for the happy. For instance I usually take the long way to work so I can drive past the goats and donkey. This is a stupid small inconvenience to my morning, but seeing them makes me a little happy. Thats what I mean when I say "go for the happy."

This is Justin going for the happy. And I'm glad that hes pursuing a dream, and I admire him for it.

I have to admit that selfishly though, I am saddened by this. We get along so well. I've never liked someone so much. No, I'm not in love -- what I mean is LIKE. I genuinely like being around him. He's spent entire weekends at my house and I never once had the thought to want him to go home. There's not another human on the planet that I have that with. And no one - no male, no female, no friend, no lover, no family has ever made me feel as great as he does. He's sweet and he treats me like a sexy princess. In the very short time I've known him, he's broken through all my barriers and self consciousness and I can just be with him without being self conscious at all. It's wonderful. And not only am I not self conscious with him, but I fell damn sexy and like the most awesome person on the planet. I know this is all so selfish, but I fear I will never find that in another human being. I've never even had a glimpse of it before him.

And I see what we could have become. And he sees it too. We fit together so well. So I mourn not only what we have, but the path that we were on. This weekend he'll be gone. He'll be on the other side of the country never to return.

This would be a good time to remember that God has a plan for us all and that there is someone out there for me. But man that always just sounds so cliche at times like these. I shall endeavor to not be sad this week and make the most of our last week together. I'm glad I got to know him. He's taught me so much about myself, and that's invaluable. I know God had a reason to put him in my life -- even if the time has been so brief.

Justin, I wish you all the best and all the happiness you can find. I respect and admire your fearless pursuit of your dreams. And I can't thank you enough for our time together and how you've made me feel. Thank You.

Star Trek - Public Service Announcement

Captain Kirk says don't be a douchebag, wash your hands.

Chef Justin

Was looking through photos on my phone and realized i never sent this. This is the meal Justin cooked when i snapped his picture the other day. Hes good, isn't he?